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impro_urnoob
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Posted on 10-04-11 3:16
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The Art of Nonchalance
It was a cold summer night, and there I was in the darkness all alone and safely tucked under the warm blankets, listening to Bach’s Fugue, and trying to figure out what to do with my life. It was quite, serene and tranquil, and I might even have seen a halo of an angel. My poor eyesight betrayed me and I was too lazy to reach for my glasses, and just like that I missed my Eureka/Kodak moment. In between those short pauses of changing songs, I could even hear the faint breathing of my next door neighbor Carolynn; an archetype of beautiful callipygian women with a gigantic bosom, twice divorced, and someone who could easily kill scores of young romantics with her sheer sensuality, smile and her high heel booty-jiggling walks in her usual pink nano-skirt. She was like a savior in town who brought joy and fun in our empty life. Her occasional glances would freeze me and I would melt down in time like a burning wax. Part of me would even evaporate and I would float like a feather into the deep abyss of love.
It was a great night and I was happy like snoop dogg. Even God must have been jealous of me at that moment in space and time, as suddenly the peace and calmness was shattered like a broken glass, and one of the precious moments of my life was interrupted and destroyed with the raucous sound of the “Jingle Bells Fart Song” emanating from my cellphone that I downloaded last week. It was loud and every inch of me hated the sound even though I spent hours finding it. My heart was thumping with fear and self-loathe because I cared so much about my neighbor. I prayed for almighty lord to make it stop ringing because my apartment wasn’t entirely soundproof and I hated that since I was a good neighbor. I even resisted the deepest of my deepest urge to bother her. Several times I resorted to bear the stench of my own silent farts as I could never make one of those audible adjustments and annoy her.
How little did I know that such a beautiful song could one day be my pain and misery? I felt pity for my fallacy and gullibility. But I resisted every bit of temptation and urge, let along the ear-searing shrill sound, because I was suddenly hit by a barrage of several existentialist questions. Who am I? What is the purpose of my life? And so on. Like a gladiator in a colosseum, I had no choice but to listen to my head and tackle those questions one by one. Lady luck was with me and the victory was on my side. It started well and my average was pretty good. All of a sudden I heard a hoarse groan and some familiar voice. It was distinctly familiar and slowly the sound crept towards the direction of my room. I was in a middle of conundrum and I couldn’t comprehend the situation let alone come up with a rational action. I lay still holding my breath tight and like a nuclear bomb my room exploded, my happiness crumbled like a clichéd house of cards, and my world went upside down. A villain had marched in my room and had turned the lights on. Angrily, he reached out for my phone. Luckily he didn’t eat it. Rather he just turned it off, and threw an angry glance at me which I didn’t see. I was already high on adrenaline so I had anticipated the situation and had kept my eyes shut pretending to be asleep.
That villain turned out to be my roommate. He banged the door shut and left. I felt like drinking some water but my senses told me that I could survive a day or two. I felt like taking a piss but I was too tired to get up. And I was still there in the darkness all alone and safely tucked under the warm blankets, listening to Bach’s Fugue, and trying to figure out what to do with my life. And not an inch did I move. I am nonchalant and persistent as a rock. And it is a virtue.
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free_nirvana
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Posted on 10-04-11 11:23
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lol..18 only re..keh keh na hola bhanthaleko..tut mulla..n why's that a hot story n at my own risk?..haha..that's a weird sarcasm though to grab some attention huh?.
oh boy! looks like you just couldn't sleep and probably too many things hovering around your tiny CPU inside your head..enjoying your own little cool moments? nevertheless, i did enjoyed your convoluted narration and quite strikingly amazed me cos i've felt that way every now and then..it's kinda like a sweet escape to an unchartered territory down the winding roads having some green n listening to Pink floyd or enigma or the church..more like being Comfortably Numb...I kinda get entrapped in these moments whenever i can't help myself fall sleep or some little nuisance bugs me which in my case is a commonplace..
anyways, i just woke up n the enchanting tunes of sajha booseted the mood for a while..made me a little nostalgic though cos i missed my old dayz back in Nepal during this time..Langar Burza, awakening ringing bells from a temple just a block home n the ever busy narrow streets and festive moods in the crowd ..i guez i need my caffeine may be i'll get my coffee that helps a wee bit..
and btw. i actually expected some kind of witty or unusual thrilling story about the girl next door since your story seems to unfold with her introduction not to mention the Under 18 alarm..but your narration ends unpredictably with your pecualiar moment of detached virtue..haha..i wonder if you actually keep journal of these little moments cos i sometimes actually do even though i never go through it again..just feels kinda quirky but as long as it feels alright..it's aiiighttttttt..haha...
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impro_urnoob
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Posted on 10-04-11 8:16
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Dont worry free_nirvana ji, I am just getting started. Thank you very much for taking your precious time in going through my shit (I got that line from a job application sample). I bet you didn't have anything better though so its good that you read. But its good that you also like humor unlike most of the bland sajhaite royals.
Baru if you have any hints, suggestions or comments please let me know. I will try to make up a story. BTW I am heavily inspired by Bollywood so you might find a lot of colloquial jargon in case you do decide to comment. So what do you think of Carolyn? Are you gonna dream about her tonight? Please share your experience if you do. Samjhidi jerk chahi garne hoina ni pheri.
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free_nirvana
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Posted on 10-05-11 12:26
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" (I got that line from a job application sample)."
Really? wow! that was hilarious..a job application sample would actually thank you for going through the shit..lol..i have heard many lines on "shit" but that one was quite an odd one to pick out of nowhere..must have been a fabulous job to hold on to..n did u applied?
anyways back to your subject, btw. is Carloyn your imaginative romantic character or does it exist for real? the way u narrated, i actually believe she's real. " So what do you think of Carolyn? Are you gonna dream about her tonight?" haha..i can't articulate about her since i am not familiar with the subject. Had i known her, may be i could have provided some input but i think you seem to be mesmerized by her sophistication. "Samjhidi jerk chahi garne hoina ni pheri" Now that is improbable and doesn't make any sense cos it would be the most astoundingly stupid thing i would have ever done and that is also based on some imaginative character. That's way out of league.. Maybe Charlize Theron or Scarlett Johanson would have fit the bill perfectly in that sense..lol..how bizzare???
suggestions?? i don't have any to give. i ain't a writer or a producer(n i don't watch bolywood movies except rare occasions, the last one i watched was 3 idiots )..also Bach's Fugue seem to be a odd choice to listen to may b i'll check that out..i wonder how many people actually listen Fugue? I have grown tired of listening to grunge..metal.rock..alternative..although that's the pack my musical taste adheres to..i am trying to break away to new stuffs like folk, blues, neopsychedelic, n more underground stuffs...but do keep your journals updating and about Carolynn as well..haha...
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impro_urnoob
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Posted on 10-05-11 12:59
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haha, I was just kidding bro although I am surprised you took it personally. Anyways hold on your horses bro more to come in future. BTW Carolynn's sister Jacqueline is way too hotter than Charlize Theron and less hotter than Scarlett.
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free_nirvana
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Posted on 10-05-11 1:20
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lol imro..i haven't taken the matter personally not at all..but i did wanted to justify some of your comments so juz felt free to pour it out..ok now Jacqueline??? hahaha...do share about Jacqueline as well..btw. i find naiveness in Theron wee bit attractive so i fancy her to Scarlett though both r damn hotties..but u just said "Carolynn's sister Jacqueline is way too hotter than Charlize Theron and less hotter than Scarlett"..actually u know what? i think i need to meet both of them..may b i can justify accurately who's hotter???
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