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guchcha chor
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Posted on 01-17-10 3:58
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It's been a while, humor section hasn't seen any threads with jokes... Please add one joke as are you reading this thread... (anything funny... oneliners.... quotes...) I will start:
Eddie took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "It was great, especially the tight pants and all the big muscles," she said. "But I just can't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." "What do you mean?" "Well, I saw them flip a coin, and one team got it," she explained. "And then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter_back! Get the quarter_back!" Helloooo, it's only 25 cents!!!
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jhyamma
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Posted on 01-17-10 5:13
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I went into the Shell gas station this morning and asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
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ktg
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Posted on 01-17-10 5:17
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Bob Marley
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Posted on 01-18-10 12:11
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AlterEgo
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Posted on 01-18-10 12:42
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This general in the Foreign Legion is transferred to a new fort, and half way through his tour of the place, he spots a mangey old camel tied up at the back of the fort. He turns to the corporal: "What in God's name do you use that for?", he asks. The corporal replies "Well, sir, there are a lot of men, and now and then, they become, shall we say, horny...." "Ah, yes, yes, I understand. Fine, move on" About 6 weeks later, the general wakes up feeling so horny, he'd get up on the crack of dawn and calls the corporal. "Bring me to the camel" says he. The corporal does, and once at the camel, he makes it stand up, and places a stool behind it. With that, the general stands on the stool, takes out Mr Floppy and inserts it into the camel. He then proceeds to give it the ride of its life. Having finished, he puts away his equipment, and looks proudly at the corporal. "Well", he says, "is that the way you men do it around here?" "Er...no, sir", replies the corporal, "We normally just use the camel to ride to the nearest brothel."
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Mukurdhom
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Posted on 01-18-10 9:22
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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose.
What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
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guchcha chor
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Posted on 01-18-10 11:23
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good going keep it up. ooops almost forgot to add. here it is:
One sign in a manufacturing plant reads: "Warning to young ladies--if you wear loose clothes beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinists.
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sabaiko satru
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Posted on 01-18-10 11:44
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computer password A Kid calls the Sony Vaio Help Desk to complain a computer problem. Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke? Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password. Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me .
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hos prashad
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Posted on 01-18-10 2:24
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Friends of Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend’s apartment overnight. So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them confirm that she was with them.
Friends of Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend’s apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still with them!!
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Mukurdhom
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Posted on 01-18-10 2:25
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Friends was funny man... very true...
Two muffins are in the oven. One says to the other "God it's hot in here." The other one replies "oh no... it's a talking muffin."
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dapu
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Posted on 01-18-10 9:10
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A guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds, "Oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!" exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!" So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says, "Superman, you're a jerk when you're drunk."
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Bob Marley
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Posted on 01-18-10 10:03
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guchcha chor
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Posted on 01-19-10 5:20
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In other words::::: (arrange the alphabets)
Dormitory :::: Dirty Room The Eyes :::: They see Eleven Plus Two :::: Twelve Plus One Slot Machines ::: Cash Lost in Me
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ktmgal
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Posted on 01-23-10 8:05
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How can you tell when a Sardars sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it. Why can't Sardars dial 911? They can't find the 11 on the phone! One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing " Our Sardar slapped him on his face and said, "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai."
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