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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

 
Smart man + smart woman = romance
 
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
 
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
 
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
 
 
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
 
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
 
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
 
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
 
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
 
 
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
 
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
 
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
 
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 
 
HAPPINESS
 
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
 
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
 
______________________________
 
LONGEVITY
 
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
 
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
 
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
 
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
 
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
 
A woman has the last word in any argument.
 
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
 
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
 
 
	
    

          

           
 
 
 

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Friends don't let friends take home ugly men  Women's restroom Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE     Beauty is only a light switch away.  Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , NC     If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together  and have the time of our lives. Armand's Pizza, Washington , DC     Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.  The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO     No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. Men's Room Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC     At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry.  Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , AZ     It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.  Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg , AZ     Make love, not war. -Hell, do both GET MARRIED!  Women's restroom The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT     If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.  Revolution Books New York , New York     If pro is opposite of con,then what is the opposite of progress?  Congress! Men's restroom House of Representatives,  Washington , DC     Express Lane: Five beers or less  Sign over one of the urinals Ed Debevic's, Phoenix , AZ     You're too good for him.  Sign over mirror in Women's restroom Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA     No wonder you always go home alone.  Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA   ~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~     A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it  Women's restroom Dick's Last Resort, Dallas , TX

i have to admit that this was funny dude!!!!

Interview for US visa:-

Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz

Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week

Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and
sometimes even camels

Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!

Consul: Man,........isn't it hostile?
Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style

Consul: Oh..........dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!

hey Bathroomcoffee  ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that was freakin helarious man!!!!!!!