Looking back at past, I wonder myself what went wrong? I never thought we will wind up like this, and separate like this way that we do not want to see each other anymore. I never imagined we will hate each other this much.
It was a perfect relation. It may be was not as passionate as Romeo and Juliet or was not as romantic as Indian movies. But we were fit for each other. We had our own world and we were happy in it. I mean we were really happy, at least I was. The time we spent in the cold weather, I will never be able to forget. I was wearing sweater with heavy over coat and still shaking with cold and you, just in t-shirt and mini and looking fine. Sleeping by your side, when I woke up in the middle of night, you were looking at my face, playing with my hairs and kissing my forehead and lips. You said that you do not want to waste bit of time by sleeping. You were the one, used to stare my face all night long while I was sleeping.
You were not the first girl I dated, you were not the last one, and you were not the prettiest one too. But I can say that you were the one who I really fall for. You have some thing that left a deep impact in my heart. You are an intelligent girl. Matter fact you are really intelligent compare to any girl of your age. Your intellectual and passionate conversation may be the real attraction than anything else. The way you expressed yourself, your future plan, your helping nature, was that all fake? Were you just saying that to impress me? It was not just because I told you that I want to go Africa when I have my career to help the children there dying everyday.
You lied to me. You lied me about yourself, about your parent, and everything. Every single word came out of your mouth was nothing but a lie. The tears in your eyes, the cry in your heart, and the sadness in your face was all fake. I still want to believe on those teary eyes, sad face, and crying heart but I do not know how. You didn?t leave anything behind that I can believe about you. Do you still remember the first time you got drunk, according to you, and the first time you smoke? You were fighting for wine while you were already drunk and almost ready to pass out. I had to drawn it in sink. You got mad and you kicked my balls so bad that I almost knocked down in the carpet. Do you still remember me drinking wine from your belly bottom and you getting all excited? Getting up in the middle of night, dance in Goo Goo Doll song ?I just want you to know who I am.? Just you and me in our own world, in our birthday suit.
You betrayed me. I dump you. But I was the one who got hurt. Do you still remember the black guy in the street calling us King and Queen? When I looked your face that time you were all blushing, and shinning. Wow that was a good fake expression you had. Flunking classes, being away from friends, dying to get married. You really know how to act, you know how to lie, and you know how to hurt.
I do not mean you are all bad and I am all good. There have been many incidences that I had to be with you but I could not. I took many things for granted. I took you for granted. You were always with me all the hard time I was going through. I really thank you for that and will appreciate all my life. But the time has changed, things have been different. Now I can see small beam of light at the end of dark tunnel. I can see a lovely morning after the scary night of my life but you are not with me. You were with me at the dark time of my life and now it is getting brighter and I am all alone.

Ohhhhhh....hushpuppy kya emotional bha ...he h e he ...la la keep it up whatever u r thinking ...he he he ....by the way what to when one is punched by life so hard...pow ..poowwow pow powwow..poww powowow... hoina ta?? ...he he he he

* do*
-------

chihuahua ji ta ek dam broken-hearted dekhinuhuncha...story ta dami lekhya chha!!

:-')

Thanx guys for your respond, hushpoppy your love sound more like your nick name, like puppy love. I been through that alot too. Its easy to break some body's heart but when it comes to us, its kinda hard. About next try, I feel single life is more fun than in relation,and I want to stay single for some time. Good luck to u with more puppy loves and hope to hear more about it from you soon.

Ardent. thanx for the complement.

dear chihu,

Akhir-ma ke bho ta? baas PIDA...kebal Pida. Haat-ma lagyo SUNYA (0).
Prem bas PIDA ho milyo bhane Khushi, milena bhane dukhai dukka.

tara Chihu. agadhi badnus. don't remain back. MOVE ON. tapaee-ko JIT hunchha.
Tapaele chaheko MAYA tapaeele paunu hunchha, agadi badnus, please move on.
life single bhanda, double nai ramaeelo hunchha; tapaee katti khushi hunu huntyo pahile, sochunas ta.

"Auta TARA jhardaima-akash sunya hundaina, aauta phool jharadaima bot sunya hundaiana.-------Nisthuri le chhodaima Rohi basnu pardaina..."- by yam baral, yo geet sunus, feel good. Maya garne, milchhan yaha, tapaeele sochhe jasto, tapaeele chahe jasto. ya, Very touchy feeling you have mentioned. Suva-Kamana timilai, khushi jeevan-ko.

-BD.

nice words of consolation, bhangli damini. even i got a nice fuzzy feeling inside.

Dear Damini,
That was a real nice and heartly words. I agree in your words. You are 100% right. "Prem bas PIDA ho milyo bhane Khushi, milena bhane dukhai dukka." But I guess there is always some thing right from every things in our life. We always learn one more thing. And as you said I really learn something. From the way you express your words, I feel like you are some body who I know for a while. Please have your words keep comming. There are lots of people like me who needs your suggestions and comfort.

Chihu,

Hami Manis hau. aautai jeevan-ko sagar-ma, Autai Gantabya tira lamke-ka yatri haru. Jeevan jaha-bata suru gare pani. timro, mero,ani hami jastai aru ko gantabya aakai chha. tyo gantabya ho, KHUSHI- happiness of life.

tyo, khusi khoj yatra-ma, katti chot pani mile holan, jeevan ko kunai paal, dukhe pani holan. jasle sukha dinchha bhane sochau usaile pida diyo hola. tesaile chihu sayad, hamra kura mile holan, autai anubhab bolulau hola hamile. ani ta timilai testo Anubhuti bhayo (feel) ki timile malai bheteko chhau, ya janeko chhau.

je bhaye pani, jeevan chalchha. kasaiko sahara bina pani aaram sanga jeevan chalchha chihu. tesma sankai chaina. so, one thing i will tell you this time, NEVER EVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM OTHERS. you will have less complains about life afterwards, otherwise, as you have mentioned in your story, LIFE HURTS for nothing. But, Chihu, I am not saying you to be pessimistic or so. Be optimistic about ur life, career path. you will see a beautiful moring of life surrounded by loved ones, which will never turns to dawn.

Jeevan, yatra ma aarko yatri milchha. satha dinchha, tara chihu timi affu STRONG hunu, BHAUTIK-HISABLE, MANASIK-HISABLE, ADHYATMIK HISABLE (PHYSICALLY, INTILECTUALLY, SPRITUALLY). My best wishes to you.
!! DO IT ! OK ? DEAL HAI TA !! say YES ....

yah !

don't look into the past
it's a world, that's so vast
deeper u go...forever it last

we all have a past....i know
some were good...some were bad...some you don't know

sometimes your past hunts you....sometimes you hunt it
and then you go back and revisit it
your past starts to seems like reality bit by bit

you feel awaken and arise
infront of you is not the past but present that lies

no more it seem like past but u realize it is exactly the past
and you find yourself repeating the same mistake once again at last.

ke ho everyone is turning into a writer re kya

je cha sajha ko pravab cha

my never ending past....

hi moneyminded bro...how is your HOT gf these days ;)

Yo bhangli damini ta kya philosopher rahecha..... babaaaaaaa .....!!!

:०) हुशको लपस्टोरि यता पो रैछ।
nice one Hush...and never thought u would write in such an emotional venom...
Nirman

La Ardent,

kaha, you garib philoshopher hunu. Sana-tina Anubhab matrai ho. Huna ta, hami sabai sanga kehi na kehi anubhab chha, kehi na kehi kura ko. yo thread ko PRAKRITI ( NATURE) maya, prem sanga chha, timro pani kehi hola. Lekha matrai, je chha timro maan-ma, hatered, love, passion or whatever, kehi minute ma nai timi pani PHILOSHOPER hunechhau. For example ZALIM SINGH bhai saheb jastai, fuzzy feelings bhanu bhachha wahako case-ma. well, timro wirting pani heru na ta, hai?

Wow bhangli damini ..got to admire ur philosophy...Impressed me!!!

kaha, you garib philoshopher hunu.
>>> philoshopher are never garib...they are always rich..rich by mind and heart!!

Sana-tina Anubhab matrai ho.
>>> thopa thopa mili sagar banda chha!!!

Huna ta, hami sabai sanga kehi na kehi anubhab chha, kehi na kehi kura ko.
>>>> But the difference is we forget it and philoshopher code it in their mind!!

yo thread ko PRAKRITI ( NATURE) maya, prem sanga chha, timro pani kehi hola.
>>> How one could imagine the life without PRAKRITI ( NATURE) maya, prem ..so i do!!

Lekha matrai, je chha timro maan-ma, hatered, love, passion or whatever, kehi minute ma nai timi pani PHILOSHOPER hunechhau.
>>>> That's what i can't ...if i could do that ...i would have been a philosopher!!!

For example ZALIM SINGH bhai saheb jastai, fuzzy feelings bhanu bhachha wahako case-ma.
>>>>> ya but he have not expressed it...so may be still not philosopher!!!

well, timro wirting pani heru na ta, hai?
>>> i would love to do so...for the moment this is what i could do...just analyze ur sentences!!!

I am sure that almost all people can relate to your story one way or the other because almost everyone has been t hrough the experience of having to let go of someone u claim to love. But the maon thing is to move ahead and not blame the other person. WHen you were with that person... he/she seems to be the best and once you are not together anymore... you are more than willing to spit venom on each other....

that not the way it is supposed to be... the best way to get over it is to accept the it was a mutual thing... both were at fault and u were not meant to be... u just were not right. Ppl dont lie.. its the way u percieve things that make a difference. So leave what had happened and try to forget the past.. live in today.. maybe will be more helpful in forgetting the yesterday..

I agree with rythm. People always tend to say bad things when they are not together. In the beginning that significant other is the love of your life...how can that same person one day (after being broken up) be the person you hate the most. yes, things happen and in anger we all would like to say things that are bad and hurtful...but that's really not the way to go.
In order to move on, you have to accept the facts and it probably didn't work out for a reason. Everything at the end happens for a reason ..a good reason at that. so let it be....and move on. What you had will always be there.....learn from the mistakes and never regret that you once loved someone. It is after all a process...

I didnt create this thread to show some body bad. I didnt create it to show myself bad. It is just some crual past and some present which I have been and I am going through. I really appreciate all the suggestions and feelings from Bhangli Damini. She can really relate to other people. Relating to some body is not being philoshopher.

Hukka Nepali very lovely words. Specially the line "sometimes your past hunts you....sometimes you hunt it." That a real truth. But I could not agree with Rhythm here:"Ppl dont lie.. its the way u percieve things that make a difference." Rhythm may be you havent face those people yet. You may be living with your parents. But when you get into real world you will face those people. People do lie like hell. Again I am not saying all the time but when they lie that will affect other life substancially. AeutiKT nice analogy, " Everything at the end happens for a reason ..a good reason at that."

Bhangli Damini I am not sad anymore. I learn to take negative things and learn through them and change it into positive feelings. We all go through negative and positive side in our life. Now I feel myself strong person and can face anything. When I was in high School our Nepali teacher used to tell us "Gainda ra Galchheda le Jiwan Kharinchha." I think he is absolutely right.

Can I reply to you in this thread after ages?? Hope you dun mind.. hehe... When I said that people dun lie I din mean that they dun lie at all. I have almost never really lived with my parents (replying to the comment abt me living with them).. but anyway what I meant was, in a relationship when a person says that they love you and blah blah blah... later you feel like they were lying when they said that.. but it might be the truth at that time. Tara this time it is the way you percieve it... If you think that it was lie all along then you are not u nderstanding the scenario. Thats all!!