One day Little Johny and his fater taking shower together and he ask with his fater'

Little Johny: Father, father what is that,
hanging like a cricket bat ??

Father: Son, Son its a gun
makes your mother fun.

very old one yaar.some new one please.

Yo ta yugau yug pahile ko joke jasto lagyo ni

Ali farak version authyo malai, tara aba umer dhalkidai gaye pachi uchchrinkhal joke haru public forum ma bhanna bata para hudai chu ma

Blonde Jokes


Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.

Q: Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
A: They are both 10? a screw!

Q: What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.

Why did the blonde have square tits?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

What is the difference between gun and women ?

Gun - First load then shoot.
Women - First shoot then load.

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.

.........................................................................................................

hahahhahahha lol katti hasne yaart thanks mysteryman ..................

here is one more

Santa has been lying in hospital already for 5 days and he was too bored. He was in his oxygen mask and he called nurse and said something like "nurse could u please check my testicle if they are black " this nurse was new and she was shy . she left pretending that she heard nothing.
poor santa was too bored and called another nurse, he asked same thing " nurse colud u please check my testicle if they are black " the nusre opened his pant and after looking said yes they are black.
now it was too much for santa and he pulled his oxygen mask and yelled at nurse "COULD U PLEASE CHECK MY TEST RESULT IF THEY ARE BACK "

Hahahahahaha Jhole, that was cool....hahahahahahahah....lmao

One from my side too-
"SUNTALI RA DADDY"

Fuchay: Mummy, Mummy Hija tapai gharma nahuda kheri Daddy tyo Suntali (ghar ko kaam garnay keti) ko kotha maa Janubhayo, ani...

Mother: Ani???

Fuchay: Ani, ta cha ni daddy kastari haansnu bhayo Suntali sanga, ra Suntali pani beskana haansi. Tyas pachi..

Mother: Tyas pachi ke bho bhan ta baa... Khuru khuru sabai bhanna, kina rokdai bhaneko, khurukka bhan kay bho tyas pachi...

Fuchay: Anha, ma bhandina. Euta sartmaa maatrai hajur lai ma pura Suntali ra Daddy ko kahani bhanchu...

Mother: Hoina kay bhancha you fuchay. La bhan na kay ho tero sart

Fuchay: 20 rupaiya dinush ani maatra bhanchu

Mother: La ta lee yo bish rupiya

Fuchay: La ta thik cha, aba bhanchu baaki kahani, Suntali ra Daddy ko, Sunnu tayar hunu huncha ta hoina, Mummy... Ma ekai sentence maa sidhai dinchu Suntali ra Daddy ko remaining kahani...

Mother: La ta Suna chora... Kasto Gyani cha mero fuchay chora...

Fuchay: Daddy ra Suntali haanshi sakepachi, Daddy Suntali najikai jaanu bhayo ra bhannu bhayo ki, ae Suntali you mero shirt, pant ra moja haru dhui dey hai. Safa sanga dhunu ni pheri....

Sahayatri
Junkoholic

HYAAAA JUNKOHOLIC, KE KHALKO JOKE SUNAKO YAAR...MA TA HASNE BELA PARKHIDA PARKHIDAI HASNAI PAINA BHANYA...LA YO PADHAUN.....ITS FUNNY...



One train which was going peacefully on the rail tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. At the next railway station the driver was caught: He was found to be a Sardar. He was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks, etc.
The authorities questioned: Sardarji are you mad!
Just to save the life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger!? You should have run over that person.
Sardarji said: Exactly! That is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close!

ONE MORE...........................


Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).

THIS ONE IS LONG BUT REALLY FUNNY...............................


Sardar Dhakaal Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely.

Zoo people requested sardar to be inside and trap the tiger in a cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun.

While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly Dhakaal put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward.

After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. Once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side.

After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road.Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.

Now tell us "What's the moral of the story?"

SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWER
































? Moral : "There are Sardar communities in tigers too". ?

Dear mysteryman2055- Keep it on guruji- Sajha is a humor droughtland; we need loads of people like you for the daily dose of humor.

Funny jokes...

Sahayatri
Junkoholic

Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
**********************
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to
Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
**********************
Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" :
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes
**********************
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair
of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles
and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily
exclaims:-
"Ah, 71st and again barefoot!"
**********************
A Sardar goes into a store and sees a shining object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The Sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold
things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
**********************
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home
somewhere in Punjab.
But two days later disconnected it because he was
getting complaints like ?..
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
********************
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling
mistakes !!
*********************
What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of
paper?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!
*******************
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They
were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh.. we'll get Punjab from India but
how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed.
Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it
would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll
automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy at this very simple
solution but one old surd did not utter a single word.
Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF
BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"
**********************
Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the
salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and
returned
to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. He went for a complete
disguise this
time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then
waited a
few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
**********************
Why did 18 Sardarjis go to an adult movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
**********************
How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
**********************
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
**********************
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
**********************
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
**********************
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his
ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
**********************
Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
**********************
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
**********************
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
**********************
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
**********************
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.
**********************
What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
**********************
What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh. ('T' silent!).
**********************
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
**********************
Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
**********************
How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
**********************
Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They cannot find the eleven on the phone.
**********************
How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
**********************
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
**********************
What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
**********************
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a
regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
**********************
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day
for 300 days,
he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he
had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 km from home."
**********************
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
**********************
A Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the
Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat
when his friend asks him
"Kyon Sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai
cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, is liye
pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko
kya pata "
**********************
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he
takes along some whisky and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe
ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin
bhook se na mar jaun"
**********************
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he
gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when
the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees,
the Sardarji deserved more service.
So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off
his beard.
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went
home.
Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when
he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and
woken up someone else."
**********************
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his
knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and
asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I
wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been
missing too."
**********************
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth
certificate
"Mother: Sikh.
Father: Sikh.
Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write 'Chinese' when both parents are Sikh?"
" Aah, I read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on
the Earth now is a Chinese."
**********************
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer
space.
The ground control issues commands
"Rubi!" "Woof!"
(it's the barking sound)
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji !" "Woof."
"Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch
anything!"
**********************
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a
ClockTower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared.
Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken
for a ride.
On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same
street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This
time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
**********************
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay.
They managed to get into a double-decker bus.
Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat,
But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see
friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats
in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are
you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a ?*driver.*"
**********************
Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and
he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of
picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
" Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But ..what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."
**********************
Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm.
He lands there on time.
He is immediately hauled inside in front of the
interviewing officer.
Officer looks at Santa Singh then goes through his certificates
and then starts asking him questions.
Following is the transcript :
O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications
& credentials I would like to ask you only some simple
questions. If you can answer those then you are
selected. First we will start with some opposites.
S : Yes Sir.
Officer started asking questions
O : Above
S : Below
O : Front
S : Back
O : Left
S : Right
O : Male
S : Female
O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our Sardar also spells it)
O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)
S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L.....
Y......(Our Sardar also shouts)
Officer is now angry.
O : Get out
S : Come in.
O : Quiet please.
S : Talk please.
O : You are rejected.
S : I am selected
................................. and This is how Santa Singh got
his job.
**********************
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the
basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him,
"Prahji, aap kya kar rahe hai ?"
To this the the Sardar replies,
"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, "Wash Basin".
**********************
Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the
telephone.
"Is this one one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the
night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone
anyway."
**********************
Once Santa Singh broke his leg when he threw
His cigarette butt down the manhole and tried to step on it.
**********************
Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first
match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light.
He tried another. It wouldn't light.
The third one finally lit.
He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in
his vest
pocket.
"What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?"
"That's a good match. I'll use it again."
**************************************************************
A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway.
Asks a bystander as to why're the guys doing what they're doing.
The bystander: A Marathon race is going on
Sardar: What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
**************************************************************
Then there's the one about the Sardarji who brought
his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a DISTANT
relative of his...
**********************
One Sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in
Burma bazaar. His Tamilian friend told the Sardar that the
prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price.
Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor
told Rs. 2000
Sardar asked for Rs.1000.
Vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told no, no
only Rs.900.
Vendor told ok, I will give it for Rs. 1500 Rs. for which Sardar
bargained for Rs.750.
It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation
said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost.
"Our Sardar asked whether he will give two."
**********************
A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery.
He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket
number.
Our Sardar says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, Sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you
a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19
years. "
Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and
I want it."
Again, the man explained that he would only get a million that day
and the rest during the next 19 years.
Sardar, furious with the man, screams out,
"Look, I want my money! if you're not going to give me my $20
million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!"
**********************
Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his
index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your
finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I
thought my face would look horrible,
Then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to
get my teeth straightened.
So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is
going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I
pulled the trigger.
**********************
After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his
son were returning to Punjab in Tamil Nadu Express.
Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle
berth and his son the top most berth in the train.
When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the
son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of ice-cream to which
Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian man
who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.
Outraged, Santa Singh called the TTE and asked him to help.
TTE requested that he could not understand Hindi/ Punjabi so it
would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in
English.
Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not
giving berth to my child."
**********************

A Sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird
flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly
over him.
The Sardar says, "It is good that cows don't fly."
**********************
A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so
he picks it up and says:
" Hello, how did you know I was here?"
**********************
How many Sardars does it take to pull off a
kidnapping?
Six.
One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.
**********************
Why are Sardar secret agents the best in the world?
Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been
assigned to.
**********************
Did you hear about the Sardar who signed all his
checks so no one else could use them if he lost his checkbook?
**********************
Did you hear about the Sardar who asked his friends to give him
all of their burnt out light bulbs?
He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.
**********************
Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day.
"Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two
jackets?".
"Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can says 'put
on two
coats'."
**********************
A Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the
middle of a highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles;
the following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked the Sardar why he kept painting
less each day,
He replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting
farther away from the paint can."
**********************
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.
**********************
Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going
to work or coming home.
**********************
A Sardar, a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert.
They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down,
because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of
the Jeep
as they continued their journey.
The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the
seat, and
the Sardar took the door.
After a while of walking the British asked the
Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the
radiator?"
The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the
fluid."
Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?"
So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the
sand. I can
sit on this comfortable seat."
Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the
door.
The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets
hot all I
have to do is roll down the window."
**********************
Why couldn't the Sardar write the number "eleven"?
He didn't know which "one" came first...
**********************
Did you hear about the Sardar skydiver?
He missed the Earth!
**********************
Santa and Banta r two friends and Santa Singh has very good job.
Banta singh
is jobless.
One day asks Santa for some good Job.
Santa Singh says, OK. Next time we will apply together and they
do.
On interview day,
Santa Singh says, first i will go inside and answer all questions
except
last one, and after coming out, I would give u the all answers
and
questions. So u go and then answer there. U will get the Job.
So, Santa goes in.
EMPLOYER : When we got independence?
SANTA : Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER : Good. Who is our PM?
SANTA : It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari
Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER : OK. What's India's population?
SANTA (He was not to reply last one so he says): Good Question,
Research is
going on, and when i know, i will tell u Sir.
Now he comes out and tell questions and answers to Banta Singh.
Banta singh was real SARDAR and he remembers all answers and
forgets all the questions.
He goes in Now.
EMPLOYER : When were u born?
BANTA : Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER : What???? Who is your father?
BANTA : It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari
Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER : Employer is upset now. Are u Mad Mr. Banta?
BANTA : Good Question, Research is going on, and when i know, i
will tell u
Sir.
**********************
A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Sardar walk into a pub.
They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were
about to
enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their
pints, and
were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and
continued drinking
it as if nothing had happened.
The Sardar too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over
the beer
and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU
BASTARD!!!"
**********************
The Sardarji Doctor to his patient:
"It's very important that you take this medicine
exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain."
**********************
One foggy evening two Sardarjis went out walking.
One of the Sardarji was holding a flashlight, and suddenly he said
to his
friend:
"Why don't you just climb up this light-beam when I am holding
the
flashlight upwards like this?"
His friend looked at him and answered,
"No, I can't do that Because if I did, you would just turn off the
light,
and I would fall down."
**********************
The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his
ice-cubes
before he put them in his drink.
**********************
Ek baar ki baat hai......
sardar banta singh ko ek ladka hua.......
but 4-5 salon ke baad wo apne baap se ajeeb-o-garib question
puchhne laga......
viz, suraj east se hi kyon ugta hai??? prithvi suraj ke chakkar
kyon lagata hai???.....
ye sab sawal sun kar banta singh bahut pareshan ho gaye.......
unhone apne bete ko doctor ke paas le gaye......
doctor chhote sardar ko examine karne ke baad bola,sardarji
generally sardar o ke paas to aadha dimaag hota hai but aapke ladke ke paas
pura dimaag ho gaya hai......
sunte hi sardarji bole ki iska bhi aadha dimaag kat do......
doctor bola tab to operation karna hoga......
sardarji bole thik hai kar do........
operation theatre ke bahar sardarji ghum rahe the, pareshan hokar
aur andarme operation chal raha tha......
operation ke baad doctor bahar nikla to sardarji ne operation ke
bare me puchha.......
doctor ne bola,sardarji bahut badi gadbadi ho
gayihai.......
sardarji ne puchha kya hua???.......
doctor bola:uska galati se maine pura dimaag nikal diya......
sunte hi sardar ji ander bhage o.t. room me.......
sardar ji apne bete ko dekhkar bole: kaise ho mere puttar......
aawaz sunkar uske bete ne aankh khola aur unhe dekhkar bola: AAMAR
BADI KOTHAY AACHHE???
[With all respect to my Bengali freinds..........]
**********************
A Sardarji was in a night-club in New York, dancing with a
beautiful woman.
He whispered into her ear, "I love you."
She smiled and whispered back, "I love you too!"
There was a little pause. (The Sardarji was thinking!)
Then he whispered, "I love you three."
**********************
There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so incredibly
alike, that
sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other
really
knowing about it.
****************************************************************************************
Surds again....!!!
How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways??
He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......
Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to
communicate with my child.
Friend: Is it! Why?
Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6
months.

BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN AT M MACHINE.
Friend: What are you looking at?
Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Beppo Singh: four asterisks(*)!

BEPPO SINGH'S MOTHER DIED.
Beppo Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Beppo Singh cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Beppo Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too!

BEPPO SINGH NEEDS VITAMINS FOR GRANDSON.
Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all
over the living room.
She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying
...'You are watching the Star World channel'? "How can he know what I am
watching?"

Sardar's son : Mom, kal raat ko vapas vaisa hi hua bathroom jane ke liye
darwaza khola aur apne aap light on ho gayi.
Mom: tenu kitni baar bola ki fridge ganda mat kiya kar.

Teacher : What is the chemical formula 4 water?
Sardar: HIJKLMNO.
Teacher: wht r u talking abt?
Sardar: Yesterday u said H to O.

What is the full form of singh : s-sardar i-insaan n-nahi g-gadha h-hai.

Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga mita dunga mita dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber hi nahi dunga.

Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more than 1000 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.

Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta oha
kya?"
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."

Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar
chalte the, woh kya rahe honge.... think............. "SALA YE PIANO BAJTA
KYO NAHI"

Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai
deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai? Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a
ring?"
"Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?"

A sardar goes 2 a hotel & after eating he goes 2 wash his hands, but start
washing the basin
Manager : What r u doing?
Sardar: U have written here "WASH BASIN."

great jokes!

just great or u should write smth more? i 'v done great job for u...ppl...

'If you're such a good fortune-teller, you should be able to tell me the score of tonight?s hockey game before it starts!' 'Before the game starts, the score will be nothing to nothing!'

A woman went to her psychiatrist and said, 'Doctor, I want to talk to you about my husband. He thinks he?s a refrigerator.' 'That?s not so bad,' said the doctor. 'It?s a rather harmless complex.' 'Well, maybe,' replied the lady. ?But he sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake.?


A tourist was introduced to an Indian in New Mexico who has a perfect memory. Skeptical, the tourist asked, ?What did you have for breakfast on September 10, 1943?? The Indian answered, ?Eggs.? The man scoffed, ?Everyone eats eggs for breakfast. He?s a phony.? Thirteen years later the traveler?s train stopped again in the small New Mexico town, and he saw the same Indian sitting on the train platform. The tourist went up to him and said jovially, ?How!? The Indian answered, ?Scrambled.?

Blonde Joke :P

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who'sblonde) asked me what I was doing?

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was"CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you
doing ?"

I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (theblonde) followed me,
the Boss asked her "

.....And where doyou think you're going?"

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"