Hi ladies (and insightful gents), I sometimes wonder if I am showing too much affection for my girl. I mean, I love her a lot and she loves me back, but I am beginning to wonder if there is "affection inflation" taking place slowly but surely. If I call her too much, or tell her I love her too much, am I making it all too cheezy and mundane? I know it sounds absurd, but it surely is the case that the rarer the show of appreciation, the more valued it is when it does occur. I was just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this. Ladies?

Well said Soyasi!!!
I'ld rather rephrase ur quote as: Relationship is like sand, hold it too tight, it slips out of ur hand; hold it loose, it gets blown away....

Everything is hot and exciting in the beginning. As you will wake up from your dream,
you will see the reality of love in this world. god may save u from being another devdas. hah..hah...hah..

Seriously now from a girl's perspective, i think Loote is right that we girls need to hear it all the time. If my guy does not say few nice work every day, i start gettng panic attacks but then genuine love is always visible and can be felt.

In case of sense of humor, stop talking like these white guys. I just think the word is too overrated and people these days just love to add it in their resume - i have a great sense of humor... But then every human is funny from one side or the other. It all depends on the comfort level you create and the situation i guess. Unlike Americans, who even reherse their sense of humor lines and repeat if often, Nepalese are more sponteneous and that is what i like on out folks.....

So, BE ORIGINAL guys...everything will be fine

Zany,
Thanks......I'm glad you could understand what I was trynna convey. And, its cute that you are concerned regarding this issue. Don't feel sorry if you don't know wht to do at times; for me a yr long relationship is just the beginning. I have a fren who has been dating more than 5 yrs now and still seems to be confused at times. Some discover the chemistry sooner some never perhaps. I think you should ask your girlfren also about how she feels. Depends whether she is also feeling the "affection inflation" as you have mentioned above, afterall in the end its only to her that matters and ask her to be honest. On the other hand, just because you are feeling the "inflation" , dont keep away yourself from being expressive; she might just take it the other way. So, talk to her. The best way to improve a relationship is talking ....at least once in a while.


Sun_shine
If you held it loose, it gets blown away BUT in the presence of wind.

(now if you are trynna correct my typos...m sorry...it was about 4 in the morn....and i was drooping and half asleep literally when i wrote it, cudnt help it. :P)

Ok, friend....
You are on the right path. You should never show too much love even if u do have love her a lot.
The number one reason being that humans want what they can't get. Hence if you want to keep her, act independent. Never act clingy. Don't shower her with gifts (come on, is she a gold digger?). A few here and there, of course is expected.

Some of the tips above me sound very immature. "Like u cannot generalize men, u cannot generalize women too" re? WTF does that have to do with anything. Ignore these useless tips.

And this sosaysi guy seems like a theoretical guy than anyhting else or one of those immasculated versions of men. Dude have you encountered this animal called woman? When they are beautiful and intelligent (even a little intelligence), they are the most dangerous creatures on earth. Treat them like you are playing with fire.

If u wanna to be treated like a man, act like a man. Do not act like a goddamn wussy!!!

And some other things are:

Don't be having too much serious converstaions with your lady. Keep your conversations light and FUNNY. Be cocky but not disrespectful. But keep it funny. Who does not enjoy a few laughs?

Peace!

Sense of humor!Oh com'n we have that!Infact I feel my sense of humor is more than u guys here in Sajha re kya! Infact, sense of humor comes naturally to most of the people when u r in comfort zone.
Yea,girls want to be pampered! Who doesn't? Even boys want to be loved,pampered!It's human nature.Some might be introverts ,some extroverts but everybody wants love.It depends on individual.Some want their partner to say it,some just want to feel it,they shy away from words.Love,expression,trust - depends on indivual.Sometimes u need to say it,express it.Some other time,ur eyes will tell it,your behaviour will express it.
So,if u r in love,know your girl,find out what she wants and act accordingly re kya!

Sorry for typos

Haha!Too much love..what is the degree of measurement for LOVE?It simply follows the law of Supply and Demand and both are invisible.It comes from within, even without demand you feel like supplying it.You fall in love so you have the right to be loved,when you start growing out in love then only the question of too much or too little comes, otherwise sky is the limit for love...and with us(gals) we love to be adored and admired all the time..we need attention & we deserve it ...so just do wat we want you to do , okay guys..
Love can never go thru cycles , for a gal once she is in love she is always in AFFECTION BOOM stage haha!

Folks thanks for your thoughts. I enjoyed reading your comments. I guess my question is ultimately about 1) managing expectations and 2) keeping the fire alive. If you give it too much all at once, it might burn up fast. LIke if you do too much early on, it may be harder to meet expectations later. In my experience it's always better to keep expectations a little below realistic so that you meet or exceed them. Keeping the fire alive is kinda related to the first point. But it's also about not being taken for granted. I mean, if you always give your everythign, ppl might take yu for granted.

I guess at teh end of the day we are all selfish in a way. It is the feeling of being desired by some one and this feeling of wanting to give to someone that makes us feel good. Ya we want the other to feel happy, but we do it because it makes US happy. So, i guess i am just trying to think with my head instead for a while here.

Sosaysi, thanks for the tip about keeping the communication channel alive. i also believe that that is key. kathmanduvalleybuy, I got what you said except the part about being treated like a man. How does a man behave? bideshi and cleopatra, ya I agree wid u folks that everyone likes affection. But what I am talking about is how much of it to show. Cleopatra u said that a woman once in love is always in affection boom. Are you sure?

too much love willl be very hard to digest.:):)

only if you dont love the peron as much as he does..

sheetalb and bideshi,

by no means i am trying to generalize hai. i have found some nepali girls/women very sharp and witty. i wish if this trend was more common among our ladies. but the degree of tolerance and understandabilty is so meager in 'some' of them that they may well get offended, if you crack some not so conspicuous jokes or try to pull their legs a bit :P...

===============

okay back to the 'love' thingy. i applaud most of the comments here. "Relationship is like sand, hold it too tight, it slips out of ur hand; hold it loose, it gets blown away....". how true!

let me make some addendum. attraction and affection in a newly bred relationship start exponentially especially if you are aggressive. then there is a saturation phase where the curve flatens and then it is up to you to keep the gusto alive. you've got to work out to make the 'chemistry' between you and your partner live and kicking. one of the things that you can do, is BE UNPREDICTABLE. while it may sound not so good idea for a secure relationship to be unpredictable, i believe that it's always good to come up with SURPRISES for your partner, every now and then.

for instance, when your partnert asks you, "do you love me" or "how much you love me" don't ever say, "i love you" , coz it becomes too obvious and expected. divert from the topic or say sth like," well, do i have a choice/option" or sth like that.... :P. on the same note, if she is cranky or even mad at you, she may well say, "i hate you", this is THE perfect time to say " but i love you like crazy!" i bet, most of them will cherish it...

well, i agree that you don't necessarily have to explicitly express your love, especially when you have expressive eyes or your expressions are obvious by themselves, but it does not hurt to be expressive through words when your partner is least expecting it :P

LooTe
PS, i hope my prospective wife is not reading this, else my unpredictabilty might become to predictable for her hhahahahahahha :P

Exactly Loote!! Now thts what I say is real talk :P :P
liked the one - ....," well, do i have a choice/option" or sth like that.... :P. on the same note, if she is cranky or even mad at you, she may well say, "i hate you", this is THE perfect time to say " but i love you like crazy!" i bet, most of them will cherish it...

Mansion, u rite. I wouldnt say love is undigestable unless u dont love him at all..

I wouldn't want a guy, who would keep on telling me every 5 minutes how much he loves me - that's real cheesy.. But I'ld love to hear his half-awake voice in the morning, when he would just call to say 'Good morning dearie' to start off his day (exempted if he has some real good reason :P), or wish good nite so that I can see him smiling throughout my dream... ahemm ahemm.. It always strengthens a relationship, if we can spare a minute or two to let him/her know how very special he/she is for us!! A simple text message or a cute lill email perhaps :)

On a personal note, love is the only disease, the more it infects, the better it is...

Sunshine,
love is the only disease,the more it infects,the better it is...

Ho ra? Disease pani kahi better hunchha ra?More it infects,the worse it is hoina ra??
For love,I can say it's like mild perfume,more it spreads,better we feel.

Loote... nice:-) u wrote fabulous!Where did u learn to write all these about love re kya?????

LMAO

“And this sosaysi guy seems like a theoretical guy than anyhting else or one of those immasculated versions of men. Dude have you encountered this animal called woman? When they are beautiful and intelligent (even a little intelligence), they are the most dangerous creatures on earth. Treat them like you are playing with fire. "

hahahahahaahahah!
Answers to your questions:
Jus because I don’t have a nick as “Chameli”or “Parvati”, you don’t necessarily have to imply that I am a guy lol. So, forget about encountering this “animal” (???i dnt know why you’d say so though) called women; so here a women herself talks to you; tells u how she actually feels. When women are beautiful and intelligent, they are dangerous (whoa! all I can say is hahahahaha!...jus because you are insecured and fear tht she is smart enough to find sb else??? If not what is the danger?).

“Some of the tips above me sound very immature. "Like u cannot generalize men, u cannot generalize women too" re? WTF does that have to do with anything. Ignore these useless tips”


Immature??? Are u sure of the usage? So you’re telling you can generalize? I don’t agree with some of the comments above; such as guys telling their girl, I love you, every now and then or else, girls beginning to feel insecured. It wouldn’t for me ..perhaps “actions speak louder than words”. What’s the point when a guy keeps telling me that he loves me just for the heck, when he is bored and to keep the conversation going .But, yes….like how some of them have mentioned above about coming up with some surprises once in a while. That’s the sweetest and best thing you could do n it works well. Now, there must be gurls who like being gifted, talking through cards and writing 3 page long email everyday. I don’t care. As long as I know he loves me, trusts me, gives me space, understands me and lets me be the person I am (of course I will be reciprocating too), I will be okay with whtever he does and whtever is his way of luving. So, we CANT generalize, cause there is nth specific like “ here is the 101 ways to deal with a woman and if u succeed ur luv life is successful. There wudn’t have been any break-up or divorce had it been for real.

You mentioned “act like a man”…Well, I dnt know the degree of relevance in this thread.

Last but not the least.

“We don't have to be stars exploding in the night
Or electric eels under the covers
We don't have to be
Anything quite so unreal
Lets just be lovers”


:)

There is never too much love :)

Sorry, forgot to metion that my answers were in reference to the comments of
KtmValleyBoy.

haha!!!! it's hard to understand girls........ when you know them.. it's kind a like a book for you that's really hard......... I hope you got waht I mean to say.......... the person who started the thread............ I am trying to say it in abit easy way....... But I guess it's not that easy for the dogs to swallow water than bone..... rite..

It depends on the person who is wid you dude....Well all you need to do is don't be too cheezy coz it's like over reacting.. Well it's like fake love.... dude.. Try to be original..... I mean nepali typooo............ ehehe!!!!!!! well I hope you got it.......

I am also....... a guy.....but I never do say to mah girlfriend that I love her....I never say I love her... all I do is care about her......... dude.. action is more stronger than words..............dude!!!!!!!!!!!!zany ......

-rockend.......

listen to this song bro...it will make you think twice...or thrice...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EceOhfqYQhw

sunshine,
hehe....yeah...it's not imperative to be expressive all the time haina? just few good words in the morning and few in the evening result in LOT of actions during the night... hahahahahaha :P....

sowie for being a touch naughty :P, couldn't help! :P

bideshi,
hehe..i really dunno. i am not very experienced in love. BUT i have observed quite a bit of others. that may be the reason why i tend to have opinions.....

LooTe