XI. Candid Verses: Flu Musings!
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So yes - I got the dreaded flu.*Sneeze*
The epidemic that usually usurps my immune system every other year couldn't have been more ironic this year. Sometime late September, HR sent out a memo requiring all employees to be vaccinated or sign a non-consent form. As usual, our workplace was divided - the devout majority sided together and refused to be vaccinated suggesting it would spread cryptic diseases including control of our minds. Mocking them, I took the needle.
Flash forward a few months---I got one of the biblical plagues - nose that is more watery than any taps in KTM, thorns protruding in the inner lining of the throat, and splitting headaches. Worse of all, I became the laughing stock of my colleagues with their constant "I TOLD YOU SO" looks.Perhaps I got what I deserved - putting undue faith in Science. So, now I am secretly praying the soon-to-be retreat be held in Minnesota or North Dakota, where these assholes would freeze their asses off in unprecedented sub-zero temperatures.
When you're cold, tired, and sick, there's no comfort than skyping with your family:
"So what is the temperature there today?" My father asks wrapped up cozily in his bed in KTM.
"About 40 --Today has been warm relatively " I reply feeling slightly dizzy.
"40?? That's warm but nothing compared to Sydney --its 47 today" quips my cousin.
*Sneeze*. A timely one, to bring some undivided attention back to me
"Try--Jwaano. Wait you get Jwano there?" "Only "Jawlo" for a few days"" "Gargle with turmeric, water and salt --Twice Daily" "Try "barring" your mouth for a few days"" The advice come in incessantly.
Someone said it right. You can only be a Nepali if you're a self-prescribing doctor.
A while later, my eyes widen when I see one of my USMLE-striving doctor friends come online. After relaying my trauma, he prescribes the obvious:
"A spoonful of Rum, honey, and hot water." Finally, a pragmatic doctor when you need one!
Feeling better already, I ask Dr. Smarty Pants what he's been up to and when he's coming over. He says that he's busy with #OccupyBaluwatar these days. Ahh! the "happening" movement. KTM-duites are suddenly very concerned about violence against women or so it seems. I am trying to remember - is this really the first time our government has ignored the probes into murders, loot, rapes, and mayhem? I think not. But hey! Anything for a change.
But I am more skeptic about Dr. Smarty Pants cause to revolt. I question his newly found "Guevara" instincts.
"Take a look at this --" He sends me a photo shouting slogans beside a beautiful damsel (not-in-so-much-distress). Ah! the hidden agenda. I guess everyone has one. I tease him a while and inquire about rest of the crew of the occupation --those seemingly well to do folks of KTM.
Dr. Smarty Pants is suddenly enraged "Except for a few victims, rest are show offs -those NGOs, actors, journalists, civil society leaders........." He suddenly sounds like a politician "These are the same people that shout all day, go home, order tea and massage from little girls they've enslaved, and yet go around parading about women's equality and empowerment. Shameless Bastards!"
"How about you Doctors?" I inquire.
"We're different ---Show me one doctor that is such" came his blunt reply. Indeed, I couldn't. The universal panacea to all our problems:. It's not me. It's not us. Nobody in my family is corrupt, sexist, or racist. Its them.
*Sneeze*
"Do you want me to make you something?" She touches my feverish head. I quickly think of my hidden agenda.
"Yes! the doctor has prescribed a home-made medicine!" "What is it?" "A GLASSFUL of Rum, honey and hot water." She rolls her eyes but doesn't complain and proceeds to make my cocktail.
