Life survival kit, some dos and don'ts like the experts say,
Q: What do u do if a Sardar throws a grenade at you?
A: Pick it up, pull the pin and throw it back

Q: What will u do if a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A: Then u run like crazy because he has the grenade in his mouth.

BLIND DATE:
Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.

"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night.

"Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack.

"So that night, Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ..."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!"

SARDARJI JOKE
Once, a Hindu, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no parachutes with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes. First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a parachute and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down. Then the Hindu removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a parachute and he also floated down gently. Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out. Unfortunately, they did not do well as a parachute and he began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground. He passed by the Hindu who said - " May Bhagwan help you". Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a race! Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his turban.

SUPERNATURAL:
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a worldwide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off evil........ Just when the clock struck 11... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

PILOTS:
Banta and Santa, now pilots are trying to land an airplane at Heathrow Airport.

They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screams ?Oye Banta, the runway is ending...".

Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, Santa screams again "Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...". Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again... This goes on again and again...

During their fourth descent Banta says : "Look at those stupid Angrezis, they build this huge & expensive airport but with such a short runaway..", "I know" answers Santa, "But look how wide they made it...."


CAREFUL DRIVER:
As Buta Singh was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife?s voice urgently warning him, "Buta-jee, I just heard on the news that there?s a car going the wrong way on the motorway you are on.

Please be careful!" "It?s not just one car," said Buta Singh. "It?s hundreds of them!"