I am from a bahun family, and the girl I love is chhetri. My MOM & DAD are educated person(both are professors) and I thought they wouldnot belive in caste system. But when I told them a love that gal, they said it is impossible. I haven;t talked with them bu they think she is from lower caste. I don't want to hurt their feelings but what about mine?? And the gal's? I don't know what to do? Would you all dare to go against you parent's decision?? I need some good comments, it is really a serious matter and I think you all guys are very good to help me out...

That' a good point. I would I know that the gal is totally comitted in me. TRUST.... that was the answer what I got from the frns in Sajha earlier. Now, you are scaring me by saying that she might be using me. Well we haven't seen each other for last 5 yrs. She never noticed me before I proposed. She might not even have a clear picture of how I look like... but without knowing that she said she loved me and I was more than happy to get what I dreamt for 10 yrs. Is she really biased by the fact that I am here in US.

मैले फस्ट थ्रेड पढे बाँकी पढ्न जरुरी ठनिन!

be a rebel on such matter.. yo discuss garnu parne matter nai hoina.. prove what you can do.. कि अर्को जुनीमा भेट्ने योजना छ??? i don't think you believe in reincarnation if you do then mero bhannu kehi chhaina. full stop!!!!

Rum,

I think you should just concentrate on your studies and keep your mouth shut vis-a-vis your parents and your girl. That IS THE BEST solution "for the time being."

You see pal - you are just 19 (I think you mentioned it somewhere), and at this age, it would be a gross mistake for you to even contemplate marriage. The girl must be even younger, I would imagine.

My four step solution would be:

1) Work hard on your studies and focus to build your career.
2) Shut your mouth - you don't have to mention anything to your parents and your girl.
3) Just go along the flow with regards to the relationship. Too young to discuss marriage!
4) Give yourself time. Say-like 3-5 years. If you guys are together till then you guys can discuss the possibilities and by then you will have better idea on how to tackle your parents.

I am just trying to OBJECTIVE here, considering/ assuming your age factor and your financial status.

And I must tell you, I throughly enjoy your presentation. It just brings smile to my face. :) Bring in new problems though - you seem to tickle my funny bone brother. And yes, it's a compliment.

IndisGuise:)

P.S: I simply love these kind of threads. And honestly MEAN it. :)

I haved lopped anyoe, but i have liked a lot of ketis. It's hard to forget your crush, goodness it must be hard to forget the one you're in love with!!

Hi Rem

How are you? It is really getting too much. Don´t you feel like your personal matter is going around too much ? You should stop here and take care of it instead of letting the whole world know about it. Just a suggestion. Take care

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Yes, I am having the same problem Rum ji.
I am in a great problem. I am not sure what to do.

Professional and educated and believe in caste discrimination, wow! where did your parents get diplomas from? Id like to know!
Other thing.. Such story maker or a producer can't think of anything when it comes to his own life. ha ha

I dont care if it's from a different caste or a different nationality ..but I need more than one. Who and how can anyone do with just one ..right ?

Muslims can have 4...I'm not asking for 4...just 2 or 3.

khaobadi jiu
why dont' u make that suggestion to your father? wouldn't he be happy to hear that?

lfc123

He might not be able to hear and get the grasp of such bold and radical ideas.

khaobadi
my question was actaully whether you would tolerate your dad marrying another woman?
as for ur "bold" and "radical" idea, well, if you want to have 2 to 3 wives, go for it. but u should also allow each of ur 2 to 3 wives to have 2 to 3 husbands...sounds like a deal?

lfc123
The answer will still be the same.

all right.
but u didn't answer my second question...would u allow ur 2-3 wives to have muliple husbands??
if that is what u meant by same answer, my apologies.

becasue he doesnt have guts to do such a thing in the first place.

What I said to all of you is not a work of fiction, it's all true..
I am sharing it with all of you because I have a feeling that you all are my very good friends. I was not supposed to tell it to my relatives, which was my greatest mistake.
I am also surprised why my Dad and Mom are taking it as a very big issue, esp caste and status. They were the one to teach me these are not good things. Were they just pretending in front of me??
Maan ko kura maanai ma rakhyo bhane maan nai bhari hunchha bhanera sathi haru sanga bateko...... mero pida, sabai ko sajha.........
Kasailai mero kuare le jharko lageko chha bhane, I am really sorry.......

where did your parents study bhanya, tyahako teachers haru baiman raichan? you producer, you :D ani afno pida afai sanga rakha, sabaiko ah-afnai pida huncha yaha, hami khali sallah dinchau, tyatti ho rum baini

Hey gaylord focker(Aznshawty). I am not bahini first, you BROKEBACK.
And you can also share your feelings if you want to. I think we got that much of democracy in SAJHA. N my DAD and mom graduated from T.U. Back in 2035 B.S.

azwnty,
rum is dai azwnty not a bahini.
even if you are educated and intellectual, you cannot escape our conservative societys' backlashes. u know how it is in nepal, all the extended family's members and the relatives and paretns have to keep all their happiness in mind too...nabhaye u will be like the talk of the town, they wil point fingers and stuff. ......its not like the west. i understand where rum's parents are coming from, ..my cousin, who was before paudel, got married to a chettri guy, and then changed her last name and in the airport once, the offical said, "tala po jharnubhako tapai..." that is how narrow minded our values are k...it will be a while before this concept is competely eradicated.

rum,
dont' sacrifice your own happiness for your parents. i am not saying go against ur parents. give them time, they will come around .