My Racist Encounter at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

Seema Jilani

Physician reporting from Afghanistan
 

The faux red carpet had been laid out for the famous and the wannabe-famous. Politicians and journalists arrived at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, bedazzled in the hopes of basking in a few fleeting moments of fame, even if only by osmosis from proximity to celebrities. New to the Washington scene, I was to experience the spectacle with my husband, a journalist, and enjoy an evening out. Or at least an hour out. You see, as a spouse I was not allowed into the actual dinner. Those of us who are not participating in the hideous schmooze-fest that is this evening are relegated to attending the cocktail hour only, if that. Our guest was the extraordinarily brilliant Oscar-nominated director of Beasts of the Southern Wild, Benh Zeitlin. Mr. Zeitlin's unassuming demeanor was a refreshing taste of humility in a sea of pretentious politicians reeking of narcissism.

As I left the hotel and my husband went to the ballroom for the dinner, I realized he still had my keys. I approached the escalators that led down to the ballroom and asked the externally contracted security representatives if I could go down. They abruptly responded, "You can't go down without a ticket." I explained my situation and that I just wanted my keys from my husband in the foyer and that I wouldn't need to enter in the ballroom. They refused to let me through. For the next half hour, they watched as I frantically called my husband but was unable to reach him.

Then something remarkable happened. I watched as they let countless other women through -- all Caucasian -- without even asking to see their tickets. I asked why they were allowing them to go freely when they had just told me that I needed a ticket. Their response? "Well, now we are checking tickets." He rolled his eyes and let another woman through, this time actually checking her ticket. His smug tone, enveloped in condescension, taunted, "See? That's what a ticket looks like."

When I asked "Why did you lie to me, sir?" they threatened to have the Secret Service throw me out of the building -- me, a 4'11" young woman who weighs 100 pounds soaking wet, who was all prettied up in elegant formal dress, who was simply trying to reach her husband. The only thing on me that could possibly inflict harm were my dainty silver stilettos, and they were too busy inflicting pain on my feet at the moment. My suspicion was confirmed when I saw the men ask a blonde woman for her ticket and she replied, "I lost it." The snickering tough-guy responded, "I'd be happy to personally escort you down the escalators ma'am."

Like a malignancy, it had crept in when I least expected it -- this repugnant, infectious bigotry we have become so accustomed to. "White privilege" was on display, palpable to passersby who consoled me. I've come to expect this repulsive racism in many aspects of my life, but when I find it entrenched in these smaller encounters is when salt is sprinkled deep into the wounds. In these crystallizing moments it is clear that while I might see myself as just another all-American gal who has great affection for this country, others see me as something less than human, more now than ever before.

When I asked why the security representatives offered to personally escort white women without tickets downstairs while they watched me flounder, why they threatened to call the Secret Service on me, I was told, "We have to be extra careful with you all after the Boston bombings."

I explained that I am a physician, that my husband is a noted journalist for a major American newspaper, and that our guest was an esteemed, Oscar-nominated director. They did not believe me. Never mind that the American flag flew proudly outside of our home for years, with my father taking it inside whenever it rained to protect it from damage. Never mind that I won "Most Patriotic" almost every July 4th growing up. Never mind that I have provided health care to some of America's most underprivileged, even when they have refused to shake my hand because of my ethnicity.

I looked at him, struggling to bury my tears beneath whatever shred of dignity that remained. They finally saturated my lashes and flood onto my face. Shaking with rage, I said, "We are all human beings and I only ask that you give me the same respect you give others. All I am asking is to be treating with a dignity and humanity. What you did is wrong." They stared straight ahead, arms crossed, and refused to even look at me. Up came the cruel, xenophobic, soundproof wall that I had seen in the eyes of so many after 9/11. Their eyes, flecked with disdain and hatred, looked through me.

The next affront came quickly thereafter. "You were here last year, weren't you? You caused trouble here last year too. I know you," they claimed, accusing me of being a party-crasher. Completely confused, I explained that this was my first time here and that I had no idea what he was referencing. Clearly, he had assumed all brown people look the same and had confused me for someone else.

I wonder what their reaction would have been to a well-dressed white woman trying to reach her husband. Would she have struggled for over an hour while they watched and offered to escort others in? Would they not have extended an offer to help, bended over backwards to offer assistance, just as they did with the woman who "lost her ticket"? Would the Boston bombings even be mentioned to a white woman?

Let's stop this facade that we are a beacon of tolerance. I don't need you to "tolerate" me. I don't want you to merely put up with my presence. All I ask, all I have ever asked, is to be treated as a human being, that bigoted jingoism is not injected into every minute facet my life, that there remains at least the illusion of decency.

Despite being a native English speaker who was born in New Orleans and a physician who trained at a prestigious institution, all people see is the color of my skin. After this incident, I will no longer apologize, either for my faith or my complexion. It is not my job to convince you to distinguish me from the violent sociopaths that claim to be Muslims, whose terrorism I neither support, nor condone. It is your job. Just like when a disturbed young white man shoots up a movie theatre or a school, it is my job, as someone with a conscience, to distinguish them from others. It's not my job to plead with you to shake my hand without cringing, nor am I going to applaud you when you treat me with common decency; it's not an accomplishment. It's simply the right thing to do. Honestly, it's not that hard.

This year, Quvenzhané Wallis took the world by storm with her staggering performance in Beasts of the Southern Wild. At several award ceremonies, reporters refused to the learn the accurate pronunciation of her name, and one reporter allegedly told Wallis, "I'm gonna call you Annie," because her name was too difficult to pronounce. If reporters can learn to pronounce Gerard Depardieu and Monique Lhuillier then surely they can take the time to learn how to pronounce Quvenzhané. It's not hard; it's just not deemed worthy of your energy because she is someone of color.

A school child recently threatened my 12-year-old niece claiming, "I'm going to kill you Miss Bin Laden." Again, it is not my job to teach your children manners and social justice, to remove the disgusting threads of racism that you have woven into their hearts with your insecurities. Last week, a 39-year-old Muslim American cab driver who served in the Iraq war was attacked and had his jaw broken in a hate crime. The assailant, an executive from an aviation company, told the veteran "I will slice your [Disallowed String for - bad word]ing throat right now." I suppose the "support the troops" rhetoric by the right only applies to white veterans.

It wasn't enough that I have had to prove my "American-ness" at every step of my career, but now the next generation is suffering as well. It wasn't enough that I was asked whether my father taught me how to make bombs, or that I was told that I was doomed to the seventh circle of hell during my medical school interviews. I was also asked whether I would wear a burqa or if my parents would arrange my marriage during interviews. It is outrageous that I have to actually prove to the world how horrified I am that an 8-year-old boy was brutally murdered by a terrorist bombing. Any normal human being feels this agonizing grief with the rest of the country. I do not have to prove to you that, I, too, find it morally reprehensible. Of course I do. I have a heart. I am human.

So, I no longer want a seat at your restaurant, where you serve me begrudgingly, where I am belittled for asking for food without pork, where I endure your dirty looks at my hijabi friend. I want my pride intact, I want this struggle of mine to be recognized, for you to look me in the eye and acknowledge that yes, this tumor called bigotry is indeed rivering through your veins, polluting your mind, and is so malignant that it compels you to squash my dignity.

It's the little indignities that slowly devastate your soul. The ones where your guard is down, and you just expect to dress up, look pretty, and enjoy an evening as a newlywed, or at the Oscars, but instead end up humiliated and snubbed. The ubiquitous racist slap in the face is thinly veiled just beneath the carefully crafted façade. This filthy, highly infectious plague is transforming our nation into one of unwarranted suspicion and anguish inflicted on disenfranchised, voiceless people of color. And now, it is no longer my job to enlighten you. To quote what you so often tell ethnic communities, "It's time for you to step up to the plate, take responsibility, and stop taking what I have earned," my integrity, my dignity.

 

Normally, I would ignore your comments Ashisme because your brain has been conditioned to see Prachanda and Baburam as your gods. But I couldn't resist posting the following link. On the contrary to what you wrote, chinese people don't trust their own government, and are now seeking the help from white house:
news.yahoo.com/chinese-air-cases-petitioning-white-house-051009038.html

i ALWAYS IGNORE your comments, metta.


stupid pakhe....

Eventhough Nepal lacks in high speed internet ps3 x box games car huge ass HD TV good and expensive android good quality coffee good quality alcohol and beer good quality air conditioned bus toilet paper nice hot water to take shower whenever we want swimming pool and jacueeze microwave to cook food there is nothing wrong with enjoying quality of luxurious life as we have just one life as for the racism discrimination bullying etc are kind of synonymous to each other and there are many legal and other remedies for help.

freedom2012,

So the white man invented Television, is that why you switched your relegion to become a second class human being for whites? So your whole logic is we should not be speaking against our masters because they invented TV and iPhone?

You are the exact SLAVE mentality i was referring to. Your type is the one who is willing be a SLAVE regardless of your master wanting to slave you or not.

 Now I know why Freedom brags being global citizen and wants to see Nepal disappering from the world map. It's pretty apparent why Nepalese people convert to christianity, no word is needed here. I can understand you now bro. 

@ Asishme,

it is surprising you even brought up the toilet paper. (Googled :)  Toilet paper was invented by a white Joseph Gayetty. Chinese used paper. White people in those days used other means not water, now google and educate yourself. It is actually our culture and indian that in majority use water. Now chinese also use the proper toilet paper.

@ Sidster,

well i said almost EVERYTHING, so it is not just tv or iphone Sir :). Now google and update yourself. Things you are wearing right now may also have been invented by a white....google please. 

Saying they are superior does not mean we are inferior and need to bow down to them and be servile. Aliens for example are considered to be superior to our human race itself. That also includes the whites. Sorry I am not a hypocrite. I do not have any complex and simply calling a spade a spade. In order for change to take place, we need to accept facts. 

As for racism, well isnt it amazing that when you look at all these reports are from non whites?. Amazing, so it means non whites are not capable of being racist to the whites since hardly any white complains. Or is it that they are not a cry baby like us and simply live with it. Amazing non white immigrants suddenly come to first world countries and suddenly become racism free. hehehehe. Let me tell you. Non whites can also be racist to the whites but being in a white majority country, it is easier to play victim.       



 

Love the way Rethink bro goes "We are all humans and we are all equal" and he uses such terms as white masters and you can feel the anti white rhetoric. So he does not really believe we are all equal now does he?. Man, for once i had like to read a complaint of racism by a white person againsts a non white. It will create some balance and some fairness to this game.

Many people, sadly feels this scenario is impossible. Non whites can never be racist to the whites. Non whites are law abiding, racism free people who are always victims. hehehehe. 

freedom,

I am wearing cotton ....when my anchestors were wearing cotton...your Masters were wearing tree barks.

Have you googled where cotton originated from?

Freedom bro you are beginning to sound like a stupid ego maniac hell bent to prove yourself right. It was sidster who used slave and master analogy which was understandable since you claimed inferior to them. I do not have any anti white sentiment. My only anti sentiment is against your claim that one race of human being is superior to another. If you had said Asians were superior, I would still be against that. Dont try to twist and squirm out of your inferiority complex by accusing others of your make believe rhetorics. I don't think anyone's buying it.

Even non whites can be racist and that is wrong when it happens. It is just an escapist, defeatist and inferior mentality to accept that racism of any kind is justified.

You said

"and he uses such terms as white masters"

Kindly please point out where I used that term. I think you are begining to get imaginative again. You might as well call for help from your imaginary beings at this rate.

@ Rethink bro,

I apologise for the mix up. But the fact you agreed with him might point to the fact that you might hold similar views. Sorry galti mah mistake bhaye cha. :)

@Sidster bro,

so your ancestors were mexicans or indians?. The modern cotton clothes are western in origin. And so are all those casuals and formals we wear, including our tie which is french or italian in origin (i think).

I hope you are not wearing cotton, that would be uncomfortable hehehe. You might be wearing a T shirt made of cotton. Cotton is not an invention, it is a natural product.

@ Nalapani bro,

NEpal is a geographical position on the map, how can it ever disappear?.

 Freedomji,
Just for your reference, and this comes from top of the google search of "cotton" refering to wikipedia. 

"....Cotton was first cultivated in the Old World 7,000 years ago (5th millennium BCE), by the inhabitants of Indus Valley civilization. Evidence of cotton cultivation has been found at the site of Mehrgarh, where early cotton threads have been preserved in copper beads.^[4] Cotton cultivation became more widespread during the Indus Valley Civilization, which covered a huge swath of the northwestern part of the South Asia, comprising today parts of eastern Pakistan and northwestern India.^[5] The Indus cotton industry was well developed and some methods used in cotton spinning and fabrication continued to be used until the modern industrialization of India.^[6] Between 2000 and 1000 BCE cotton became widespread in much of India.^[7] For example, it has been found at the site of Hallus in Karnataka around 1000 BCE. The use of cotton textiles had spread from India to the Mediterranean and beyond.^[8]....."

".....During the late medieval period, cotton became known as an imported fiber in northern Europe, without any knowledge of how it was derived, other than that it was a plant; noting its similarities to wool, people in the region could only imagine that cotton must be produced by plant-borne sheep. John Mandeville, writing in 1350, stated as fact the now-preposterous belief: "There grew there [India] a wonderful tree which bore tiny lambs on the endes of its branches. These branches were so pliable that they bent down to allow the lambs to feed when they are hungrie [sic]." (SeeVegetable Lamb of Tartary.) This aspect is retained in the name for cotton in many European languages, such as German Baumwolle, which translates as "tree wool" (Baum means "tree"; Wollemeans "wool"). By the end of the 16th century, cotton was cultivated throughout the warmer regions in Asia and the Americas....."

Just helping out a fellow Nepali, who is little inferior from "whites";  may fair and handsome bless you. :-)

@ Juggy,

i did say indians and mexicans remember?. Cotton is not an invention. The modern clothes we wear shorts, shirts, t-shirts, shoes, ties, etc are western in origin.

We do not wear cotton dhotis now do we?. Our dress up is western in origin. That is why they say China, India is getting westernized. We are adopting their fashion etc. Now the good and bad side of it is debatable but i merely want to point out that White people's contribution to this world has been immense and is a big part of our everyday life. You can deny all you want but it will not change the truth. 

I am not bowing down to them. I am acknowleding their contribution. But many people seem to think that White people can never be victims of racism and take it for granted that it is always non whites who are victims. You focus on racism too much, everything looks racist. You make racism a huge issue, you make it sound like it is big part of everyday life and then it makes many people imagine racism in just about anything.  

Acknowledging someone's contribution is stark different from acknowledging someone's superiority. Maybe your choice of words were wrong.

It's ok to be wrong, you do not have to defend every mistake you make :)

You said "But many people seem to think that White people can never be victims of racism"

I don't recall anyone saying that in this discussion. You seem to have made you own conclusion due to your own prejudices. I think the general concensus here is that racism is bad and should not be accepted as normal.

As I said before, even non whites can be racist and that is wrong when it happens. It is just an escapist, defeatist and inferior mentality to accept that racism of any kind is justified.

You are free to have the escapist, defeatist and inferior mentality by accepting that racism from your superior race is justified.

Firstly, whoever it was that talked about discrimination against white people - congratulations, buddy! You discovered reverse racism. You are only 40 years late to the party though.

 This is the biggest cringefest that I have ever encountered on sajha. It is saddening that we are discussing the idea of a master race in 2013 - an idea that the US discussed and denounced decades ago. However, I find a greater sense of contentment in the fact that some of us out here actually do understand discrimination and will stand our ground to fight it.

I could write a book about how gravely misinformed some of us are about the power dynamics when it comes to race. However, it seems to be a lost cause here. I don't know if it is people's upbringing or their schooling that has failed them this terribly, but in either case I fear for them and their offspring. I fear for the future when one of their kids comes home after facing discrimination at school, and their parent tells them, " Suck it up, white people are superior to you". I don't even want to hear their views on other social issues like sexual abuse, rape etc where race and other power dynamics come into play. I am far more scared for their offspring who will be brought up in an environment so revolting than I am angered/baffled at their stupidity.

But the truth is these people will not cease to exist. And they will be this confident about their gravely misinformed views. I am all for spreading awareness against social issues – specially when it comes to aforementioned ideas that are so wrongly conservative (is that a term?). However, like I said, I think that it’s a lost cause. There is a saying in Nepali “Suteko manche lai biujhauna sakincha, sute jasto gareko manche lai biujhauna sakinna”.

 There isn’t much we can do in sajha to change the views and mindset of people who are arguing for the sake of arguing and playing devil’s advocate for some attention. Add to that multiple monikers to put across their views further, and we are truly defeated. But we can stay content because we tried, and we can only hope that their children will grow up to become people that their parents could never be.

 I request we stop feeding the trolls.

@Rethinkji,

Superior is an apt word. Let me explain. Imagine that humans had not discovered
electricity and there was no electric bulb. Then an alien from outer space came
and taught us about electricity and how to harness it. Then we would have no problems
calling that alien race superior yet we have problems extending the same honour to Whites.
Isnt that our hypocrisy Sir?.

@Anneji,

I look forward to that day i wake up and read "White man accuses Nepalese of racism." Or "white
man accuses indian man of racism.". Then that would prove racism exists. Since it is always non
whites as the victim, it makes me question whether there is a psychological aspect to it,
whether there is a hidden agenda, or whether we non whites expect too much and our tolerance
level weak. The way I see it, non whites do not need encouragement to report racism, there is
already enough report of that. If anything white people should be encouraged to report racism
as we do not get to read about it. 

Western society is already racism free to a great extent with great laws. Yet you are trying
very very hard to improve it further. Great effort!. But what have you done to change our own
society which is a shithole for human rights and everyone is so racist. 

" Suck it up, white people are superior to you".

hehehe Anneji hajur pani JPT bhani dine?. Since when did i link racism with superiority?. Those are 2 different issues in 2 different contexts. You do not have to say those things, you are aware that there are laws right?. But nice try using kids to prove your points. More than racism, there is bullying in schools and everyone takes this seriously.

Thought I was not going to post in this thread, so I will take my word back and insert one last comment. Anne, If the trolls in this thread only had a minuscule amount of wisdom and insight as you did, their life would have had a meaning. I actually am commenting here because I have been trying to decipher what intelligentguy said. And since I couldn’t, I’ve come here to seek support from people to enlighten me provided they understand him. Haha! Now jokes aside, I want to echo what rethink said – it is okay to be wrong sometimes, there is no harm in admitting some comments made by oneself were over the top during passionate debates. I admit my mistakes sometimes because I am just a weak human being. But when some individuals do not give up and never seem to end a debate that is completely veering off track only because of comments fueled by their confrontational nature, they lose their respect as a visitor. Same goes with posting on 90% of the threads, what’s up with that? If I’d do that, the only feedback I’d get from my peers is – GET A JOB. I agree there is racism in Nepal, maybe more than United States, but it’s not that we like it. I do not, I hated when people close to me used racial epithets towards some casts, which they think are inferior to them. I raised flags back when I was home and I will raise flags here. The only morale of this entire debate, at least from what I gleaned is – “we have racism back home so it is okay to endure one here because whites are superior race than us” Anonymity is bliss, especially in a website that is free but as I read through the comments in this thread, the only thing I do is pause and think if we are so shameless that we could simply write such a pitiful statement just because we want to win in a debate.

first off...i don't know why you have to google everything that gets mentioned.....most of what has been said is already a common knowledge......

anyway, when you use a paper to wipe your arse, it becomes a toilet paper. It doesn't have to be a roll that is wrapped in a plastic and color branded.

Your Joseph guy may have created a commercial toilet paper roll, but it was the Chinese who taught your "Superior White Race" how to use paper after they were done, instaed of using their hands.

Besides, I am not sure if your Joesph dude was even born when the Chinese were using toilet paper in the 6th centure.

get it?

....by the way, look it up in google who invented the "PAPER" itself....

Paper invention is regarded as one of the greatest achievements in human history....


Stupid Pakhe

 केहि मात्रामा हामि पनि गोरा हरु प्रति racist छैनौ र ? हामि उनीहरुलाई 'खैरे', 'कुइरे' भन्छौं / मलाइ याद छ नेपालमा हामि उनीहरुलाई देख्दा ' ये माक, ये माक' भन्थ्यौं . ha  ha ha !
....just in jest !