3 years is a long time, I  might have 6 gfs by then if i continue from my current trend lol  I found that the most imp thing in life is to get in relationship w/ smbdy who likes u rather then who u like. My exp tends to think that way dude. I might be wrong. 

Love , marriage....I think Love is repect feeling each other ..and marriage is necessary of life..in somepart ..somewhere we need some with whom we can share everything...compermise, understanding, commitment, responsibiliies are most imp thing for marriage...

Doesnt matter U do Love marriage or arrange need all those thing..its really good to spend whole life with that person who know well , who had already relationship like BF/GF bt its not imp you should have in relationship before marriaed.

These days lots of young generation migrate to abroad study far from famly , their (lover), struggling for better future..in such circumstances we have compermise with or lover , coz we are far from them,

I saw so many relationship once they apart its beakup ..than what we suppose to  say ..such realtion ..

Some good part of arrange marriage is our family is behind us ..and we can move ahead by careing each other ..but due to some factor like money, status, family pressure..if someone is going for arrange marriage its big disaster for both family...

Nice thread!

Indeed this topic is quite normal amongst some Neps....i have seen many people with my own eyes being set up for marriage with complete strangers. I mean, meeting someone a few times isn't enough personally! I have also seen through these people that their hearts are not into the other as much as i would like to see...well their marriage start from love did it...certainly doesnt make me feel better or give reassurances should i end up in an arranged marriage ( God forbid!)

Quaggy,

I also am not around Nepali guys so my future doesn't look rosy. I do want to get hitched to a Nep dude but where the hell are they all?! Plus i don't also just want to get married to a Nepali for the sakes of them being Nepali either and i don't particulary want to broaden my horizons to marry outside of my culture. Am i screwing myself by having this set standard? I mean, i love all things Nepali, if i married a khuirey ( for example only) I will certainly miss my Nep comforts, talks, music, food..etc... I will always be trying to teach him how to say Namaste and Tapailai kasto cha...bhok lagyo...mitho cha....etc....drag! So basically, i understand your preliminary predicament dawg!

Yes, it would be nice to hear from someone who has a successful arranged marrich story! Also from someone who can enlighten me too on my dire straits. ( If that makes sense at all, lol)

(PLUS, why is my freaking font always so miniscule even though i selected the largest FONT...?? Admin or anyone want to enlighten me on this too...?

 

 

Female Fatale, i agree with your thoughts.

i think most of the singles Nepalese here in US of A or in any foreign lands are having difficulties finding a guy or a girl from the same background just because here in the US, singles move around and get scattered in strangest of location because of a job or in pursuit of a better career. 

and I am on a same boat. right after my graduation, i moved to different city because of job and i found myself lost as to what to do about finding a right girls. i don't know what is it, may be my 9-5 job or something else,  i don't get to meet Nepalese girls as i used to when i was in college. now i am getting old ( i am 26 now) and my mom is showing her biggest concern. and stuffs she talks to me really scares me sometime, which is arrange marriage. when i was in college, i always advocated for love marriage over arrange marriage and how people should fall in love and get married but now looking at my own situation, i feel defeated. now i am trying to redefine the meaning of marriage so as to satisfy my own need.

anyway, that's my story and arrange marriage is something that is being pitched at me given my current scenario and i would love to hear some good/bad stories related to it.

i have heard/seen people getting married after chatting remotely or phone calls. how is it  like marrying a person from nepal after 2-5 months of chat/phone calls and couple of meetups. it would be nice to hear from someone who has been though this process.

It not bad to meet someone  through online or call in nepal and choose life partner ..but without seeing any one .only by ph.or internet how can we make decision about life...

Obviosuly if someone come through family that may be good option..go through famliy and communicate in internet or ph that may work..all the best...

I guess I know where you guys are coming from....i have a friend who is a girl who just turned 30 and is always cribbing about being single although she has everything...good job, $$, fancy car what not..in the process of trial and error she got soo twisted in her head that she is still hung up with her exes that its stopping her from finding new prospective ppl...but in the flip side she is in an area where she cannot find anyone from her background ....she is hoping that her parents will find someone for her as chance of finding someone is so slim that she knows it....

I know its not fun situation to be alone and not to have anyone to share your love with ....but just know that things will happen and there is someone made for everyone...concentrate on finding that person because lots and lots of people are looking .....just spread the news around that you are ready to mingle and have your friends set up for you......and you can save yourself the trauma of going through the involvement of all the family member in arrange marraige and not to mention the weirdness of rejecting someone or being rejected!!

Femme_fatale,

Apologies for mistaking your identity. I was totally convinced that you were "The Dude" indeed! But after I questioned him on Facebook, I suppose you didn't turn out to be him albeit you could really be him, so to be on the safe side, I'll be referring to you as "it".

But yes, you made fair points.

Stupida,

Props for bringing out the issue of boy and a girl living together. As I already mentioned before, I've never dated a Nepali chick. There was a time during my Junior year when I lived off-campus with my girlfriend ( American ) and thats what told me that living together before marriage is a big no-no! The romance factor disappeared and of course other things too.

But coming back to the thread, dolphin hit it on the nail and elaborated on what I was trying to find out because there are many like Dolphin and myself ( although Dolphin seems to be a little budho than me ) who've reached that time of our lives when we begun starting thinking about significant others. Its a tough task, it seems, for someone who's made a vow to get married to a Nepali girl. Further, culture, religion and other things obviously complicate things too. There was a time last week when a girl sent me an email from Nepal explaining who she was. Oddly enough, I didn't know that my aunt had asked her to email me so that we could get to know each other and it wasn't until I sent a reply and I quote myself " Who are you? ", that I found out who the girl was. I felt bad for her and was a little embarrassed too.

But anyways, the sole purpose of this thread is to find a way to ensure that many including I, didn't fall for the emotional blackmail trap! I seek better. I don't want to correspond to my wife-to-be via email or chat! People try to act at their best when they're dating! God knows how truthful people are when they present/introduce themselves to others via email/chat! I know this by personal experience! My cousin ( shivajiko bhakta ) was doing some hits on the day of his marriage and got dumped in 3 days. Anyways, I suppose I'm getting too deep in this discussion.

So any other budhas in here who'd want to come forward and share how their "arranged" marriage worked out?

This is getting interesting............lots of intellectual ppl, joined together for some healthy conversations.

Quagmire Ji, you just read me, living together is always a big NO NO (capitalized and bolded to stress more) for me. You got the reason too. Thank you...........

Pixie, don't you think this is always true - the grass is always greaner on other side of the fence. We always value things that we don't have or even have less than others. Besides, the 'same-thing' is valued differently by different persons. And not only that, same amount of 'same-thing' brings different meanings to different. A $10 lottery price is not same for me and a begger in the street or even say a billioner. We each see it differntly and its value is different. (ani sorry hai........u know the reason ....too busy @ work at the time.............guys don't think too much here.........just continue reading down)

dolphin........it seems we are on the same boat. pahila college ma huda....let's make carrer and get a good job ani tespachi kti pahi halincha vhanoye.............ahilay garoe hudoe raiecha.....ghar bata pressure auuna thalay pachi kaskoe kay lagcha.........photo email ma pathaie halchan.........ani herum pani kasari nai bayla ta vhaoye..........tara tehi ho guilty feeling of being rejected or reject someone.

Tara,don't assume guys that I am totally for arrange oreven totally aganist love. Teyo email, photo ani chat ko vhar ma chahi jindagi ko biggest decision hunna. Offcourse u get to see each other in person. talk and meet and whatever............all u thing necessary...........

Well, again feri I wanna stress - 'jaskoe vhagyama jay jay lekhay koe cha tehi huncha' Haina ra?

arranged marriage?

I guess it works different for everyone, but heres a scenario.

when parents/family force her, its messed up! she doesnt want to. she wants to live out her life with someone she falls in love with, but now cant cuz she getting forced to marry some bald rich dude with three master diplomas and acres of land in Nepal. plus her dad and his dad are best friends of sorts. she might get tempted, cuz the bald rich dude will give her MOST of the things she wants in life, save one. her poor lover got nothing.. still struggling to make ends meet.. cant buy her a decent gift, but when it comes to love, his is unconditional. but in the end she still chooses to marry rich bald guy  cuz he got financial stability.

in my opinion arranged marriage is a tragedy.. one which kills two peoples shot at love and makes them camels of society, forcing them to bear an unnecessary burden of having to see each other with someone else.

also,

kudos to all participants for maintaining a quality and serious discussion here on sajha. Never seen it happen before.. what??? nepali haru ko outlook change bhai rachaa??? UNPOSSIBLE! :) hehe..

cheers!

DD, 

Kwage, party kahele ho? Timro thuldailai birsine hoina yaha...

When it comes to live a life with someone special whats the difference between fall in love and then get married and get married and the fall in love? I am gonna go for the 2nd one. cant resist my lonliness. lol

Welcome GS, Welocme to my world.!!!!!!!!

time to create a singles forum, my friends and organize people. dealing with singles in person here in US is better than dealing with singles in Nepal over chat/phone.

what say you all.

dolphin you got me in the boat.

BTW, it's not that I don't have frds. I have a lot.....tara schedule mildaie na....most of my frds either are medteck or nursing or hourly with different schedule. either they work 3-11, overnight or few in the morning...afnoe paroye 8-5. while few are doing masters. so afnoe off huda no one is around. Well, i Know many seniors from same filed and same work, but all most all of them married, and don't want to bother them. All I am looking was few frds to hang in the weekeends, watch some footabll and drink some brandy (thats my choice in winter). Sometimes, it is so boring that you shout like crazy by urself in the house watching football. Guys, I am into soprts so much, I even bought a projector and 120 inch screen to wtach important games.. I never miss important games...Okie, here I start.....If u live in DFW metroplex area, feel free to bug me.....let's watch some fotball with some drinks...don't worry guys (girls r welcome, if u think u don't get bored)..I do have a small bar with full service.....

Also, forget to mention, we do have a small group of 5-6 ppl, to play Poker, and I mean  a real POker, with chips and poker table and poker board and stand....and we usally play $.50 and $ 1 or $1 and $ 2 .......

Also, if u are into IT field and precisley into SQL we do have a google sql group. But we use this most of the time to commuincate and pass humor and make plans with sometimes discuss the SQL issue. here is the add sqlserverinfo@googlegroups.com. send email to this address to add you. Mr. Ashok is the name. If u need my name send email on sajha.

For some, arranged marriage is the tool that will provide them the guaranteeing insurance to get laid regularly until they go horizontal. No wonder there are so many children running around your hood who would remind you of the concept of "garbage in garbage out" every now and then. LOL!

Western nations for instance France or Italy does not have that practice of arranged marriage thus preventing ugly couples from mating. May be that's the reason why every French man is a dude and every Italian woman is a bella donna. HAHAHA!

@quagmire ji, in present context,i think there are many families that are very liberal when it comes to fixing marriage but there are some i know where family plays the biggest role in fixing things. I have witness one and it was kinda sad to see that18th century marriage still exists in our modern society (in ktm).

@GS, love after marriage is not actually love but compromise. i think..

@Stupida, while it is a good start but our goal is the find as much people who are on a same page. if 5-10 full time workers gather around, it would be nice wouldn't it. more girls would be plus. but now we need to stick to our subject which is arrange marriage because while we are single, i don't think shadow of arrange marriage is gonna go anywhere.

so all you folks who have married your significant other from Nepal, please share your experiences.

Thanks

*too many threads to read 'em all....

Guys,

I am in a same boat right now. I have been hooked up with a Nepali girl via this arrange marriage. I had a similar situation where I wanted to meet and then marry a Nepali girl, but where I live and work we have none. So, I guess it forced me to get help from my parents. Currently I have been chatting with her regularly and taking on the phone during weekends. It's not that bad, the only problem is you don't get to physically meet the person, but I guess video chat might solve that problem too. Things do move slowly in this situation as we don't know each other well. I am hoping to meet her personally at least couple of times in Nepal before getting married. 

There is a Find Love Tab in the Sajha Page. Submit your description. Hope you all singles out there will find a girl or a guy you wanted. :)

Hmm.. By the looks of things, this is soon turning into a single guys' corner haha.