I get really nervous in social situations and do not know what to do..its to the point where i cant barely speak because im so shaky and people can hear my beating heart. I have servere difficulty in making anykind of eye contact...i feel like i see too much when i look into people's eyes, what they are really thinking.When I try to speak my voice just get compressed and my sound listen like whistling 

I do have no idea what to do

Is it really serious problem or do I have see doctor ?

 

Good suggestion needed.. seriously..

Personally for me, it is the ascent that acts against my confidence. As I don't have american ascent, I feel tentative to talk in front of group of people because I sometimes feel I am not pronouncing the words right or people are not understanding the word what  I meant to say. During my first semester in my chemistry class, I pronounced chemical bond in a way it sounded chemical bone..you know  how bond is pronounced like b -a - nd sound.and my group members were like "Jesus!".That was kind of depressing during my first month in USA.When I sometimes talk on the phone, a lady picks up the phone and says "I don't understand you ".. may be because I speak fast but its the way they sound that sets me back..

Shambhoo, From the symptoms that you are experiencing, it sounds like you have Social Anxiety Disorder. I don't know how old are you. But you might cope this anxiety better when you grow older. However, there are some ways to try to overcome it. If you really want to know more about it, this site might be helpful: http://socialanxiety.factsforhealth.org/ Good Luck!

 

Its all about confidence...Even the most powerful peeps get nervous when confronted and they're not prepared (ala Dick Fuld before the Congress). Just make sure you KNOW what you're doing and confidence will come automatically. That should help.

As for Bear23, if you're a bhalu and knowing that there are cops around 24/7 in most areas of the US, you should be the most nervous of them all, muji. Quit giving advice as a bhalu needs to be good in bed and not try and be a psychologist. LMAO

 

Thanx guys. I really appreciate ur valuable suggestions. In my case day by day my condition is going worst. Nowadays its really difficult to concentrate on the things i ve to do in the office; i can't cooperate with my boos and colleagues because i feel i m inferior and can't look into their eyes. The whole day the same small thing is rolling into my mind ... does anybody else have the problem like me ? I think i m the only one ... pls share ur experiences and more suggestions...

If you are looking towards career move never go for Business Analyst jobs as this job requires frequent interactions with developers, presentation, speech...etc

other self improvement tips in daily life try to speack loud, dont worry about what other might think about you whatever you speak you should have a strong views and confidence about that topic, also keep in mind that you are the smartest and others are dumb (but respecting others and being a good listeners also)

thanks guys ur valuable suggestion

As abhi2000 described.. I have same kind of problem too.

I do not have good american accent and that makes me feel that are they understand me or not ?

If  I have some frn with me I feel embrass to speak with any american . That things are making me dumb day by day..

Give us more guys....I think there is a lot of people who are suffering this kind of problem..

dipulata i like ur tips, "Don't worry of wat other might think abt you" but how can i apply it? I m trying to do so but couldn't over come the problems. Its very difficult for me to build up the confidence that i m the smartest n the others r ...

Shambhoo, people who grumble about your accent don't matter to you. Those who matter will politely ask you to repeat if they don't understand. You are doing no harm to yourself when you don't speak English in American accent, as American tongue is shit anyways. Try to pronounce each words separately and people will understand everything. I can guarantee that your English is much better than most non-Americans living there. Perhaps even better than some Americans who never made to the school.

As far as being nervous at Social situations is concerned, I'd not give a flying f*** about what others might think about me. And trust me those people have their own problems. No one would bother about how you were doing, unless you are there for a job interview or fixing a girl for yourself. Whenever you go to a gathering, just loosen up yourself. Talk to someone if you want to, otherwise enjoy the atmosphere by smiling at people and moving around. But don't think what you'd talk with x,y,z. Nobody talks serious in such gatherings anyway.

I'd also suggest you to watch Ali G clips in youtube and try to impersonate him in front of your friends.