I was thinking about getting married, I looked up the word "engaged" in the dictionary.

It said, "To do battle with the enemy."

Then I looked up for mother-in-law It said, "See engaged."

Q: How did the Sardarji try to kill the fish?
A: He put it under the water.

Q: How do you keep Sardarji busy?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

Q: How do you make an Sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Q: Why did the Sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: How do you keep Sardarji busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: Why can't Sardarji make ice cubes?
A: he always forget the recipe

Q: How did the Sardarji try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.

Q: What do you call Sardarji in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.

Q: Sardarji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Sardarji #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Sardarji #2: "No, who wrote it?"

Sardarji: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
Sardarji: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the wierdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
_________________

~~ !! WELL THIS IZ MY ADVICE TO U TO STOP STUDYING~~ !!


Because

No Study = Fail ....................... ( I )

Study = No Fail ...................... ( II )

By Combining ( I ) & ( II ) :

=====> ( No Study + Study ) = ( No Fail + Fail )

By Taking ( Study ) as a common factor in the left hand side
And Taking ( Fail ) as a common factor in the right hand side

=====> Study ( No + 1) = Fail (No + 1 )

By Dividing both sides by ( No + 1)

=====> Study = Fail


~~ !! THATS WHY I ADVISE YOU TO STOP STUDING ~~ !!

bum walks into a bar, asks for a toothpick, bartender gives him a toothpick, bum leaves
second bum walks into a bar, asks for a toothpick, bartender gives him a toothpick, bum leaves
third bum walks into the bar, bartender goes 'you want a toothpick'?
bum says 'no, gimme a straw instead'
bartender asks 'why the straw?'
bum replies 'well, someone barfed outside but all the chunks are gone'

The Period

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy called upon walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period," said the little boy. "Well, I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?" "Damned if I know," said the little boy, "but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself." !! !! !! !!

Why do newly-weds have a 7 days honeymoon and
not 6 or 8 days?

Because 7 days make the whole(hole) week(weak)!

A mother and her son were flying Qantas from
Perth to Sydney. The son, who had been looking
out the window, turned to his mother and said,
"Why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told
her son to ask the flight attendant.

So, the little boy asked the flight attendant, "If big
dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats,
why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The flight attendant asked, "Did your mother tell
you to ask me that?" The boy said that she had.
With a clever grin, the flight attendant said,
"Tell your mother it's because Qantas always pulls out on time."

A farmer buys a young rooster to impregnate his chickens. The young rooster struts into the barn and yells to the old rooster, "Get out, old man! This is my barn now!."
"Tell you what," says the old rooster. "I'll race you around the farm; winner gets all the chicks."
The old rooster takes off toward the front of the house with the young rooster chasing him. THe farmer takes one look at the roosters, pulls out his shotgun, and blows the young one away.
"Damnit," says the farmer. "That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month!"

A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash.

Astounded that he had been caught speeding when he was doing the speed limit, he
turned around and, going even slower, he passed by the camera.

Again, he saw it flash. He couldn't believe it! So he turned and, going a snail's pace, he passed the camera.

AGAIN, he saw the camera flash. He guessed it must have a fault, and home he went.

Four weeks later he received 3 traffic fines in the mail, all for not wearing a seatbelt.

I have one joke for the refreshment :)

A man decides to stop and get something to eat since he has
been driving for 4 hours. He pulls into the first restaurant
he sees and orders a hamburger and a drink. The waitress
comes back with his meal. The man says
"Why is my food so big..."

The waitress replies
"This is Texas, Texans like everything big!"

So after eating some of his gigantic meal, the man asks where
he can find the washroom. The waitress tells him to go down a
hall and take a left. He walks down the hall and to the left
and falls into a pool. Right away the man yells
"Don't Flush!"

During an examination this guy was not able to answer the question so he copied
the answer from another good student, The answer to the problem was 'log(1+x)'.

But as he did not want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed
the answer slightly, to 'timber(1+x)'

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog...... :D

WIFE means

W= worries
I= invited
F= for
E= ever

Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

In case you needed proof that stupidity is all over the U.S.

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". [Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". {Evidently, the shoplifter special]
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." [And that would be how...?]
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." [But it's *just* a suggestion]
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down". [Oops, too late!]
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating" [As sure as night follows the day . .. ..]
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". [But wouldn't this save even more time?]
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.]
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". [One would hope]
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".[As opposed to what?]
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". [I gotta admit, I'm curious].
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". [NEWS FLASH]
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts." [Step 3: Fly Delta]
14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Dammnnn !!! Guess I will have to return that now....)

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