I get really nervous in social situations and do not know what to do..its to the point where i cant barely speak because im so shaky and people can hear my beating heart. I have servere difficulty in making anykind of eye contact...i feel like i see too much when i look into people's eyes, what they are really thinking.When I try to speak my voice just get compressed and my sound listen like whistling 

I do have no idea what to do

Is it really serious problem or do I have see doctor ?

 

Good suggestion needed.. seriously..

its not a medical problem, its a psycological.

next time u go to a social function. go with an agenda..1 thing that u wanna accomplish or master in...lets say..u go making sure that ..u wud make and eye contact..and do it...practise..is the key..goodluck

 

there is a psychological disorder called social phobia. it can be treated by counsellling, preparation and practice. first you need to know that no body in perfert, in talkign, speaking, pronunciation, walking, eating, listening to others, body, figure, study, knowledge or whatevr. change your perception about yourself, boost your self esteem adn so many things; practice or think or prepare about the topic of the discussion prior to joining study/social groups as mansion suggested, etc. good luck.

Shambhoo,

You just have intense anxiety about social situations and as ctal put it, you might have social phobia. If you dont think you can function properly in public and are avoiding public areas because of this, then it is important so see a pschologist. Mainly because this might hinder in other things like working efficiently in a job setting etc. You might also develop avoidant personality disorder. Do you also feel uncomfortable in front of people because you think you might embarass yourself in front of them? If so, then I think you definitely need to go see a psychologist.

Boosting your confidence would be a solution for sure but it is easy said than done. And if you have no control in how you behave, then you need professional intervention. All the best. Please go seek help.

Different people interacts in group differently. You may be comfortable certain crowd or you want some body who is well known to you. Some people are good gossiper , do not try to be like that but slowly and steady you will be able to adjust any crowd. But you need to help yourself first, move ahead with "I can do attitute".

i think it is social anxiety..

 

get treated or drink red wine and go to the social.. it will calm you down...

I used to have the same problem before I came to USA. I still remeber, those few years, specially in the beginning. You exactly defined my problems. My sound used to get smaller and faster. I used to be red, and I couldn't go infront of the class to give speech. As a matter of fact, I requested my government teacher not to have a speech presentation for me, and asked him to give something else for me. Now, I am different. I don't talk a lot to new people, But If I have to, I never mind. All those fears are gone. Few things, No one is perfect. Second, no one  have tim eto judge you,a nd if they do, then what the hell.........They are not in a position to judge you.

Take Rythm Advice as she has degree in phychology and she is right; a brilliant young lady. Take her advice. I always like her words and her input, but still sometimes I have a differnt opinion about her.

One thing, I stiil have this problmes. I cannot talk to a nice looking lady (If i know her i can, but if she is completely new, I cannot) I still ahve this phobia, something like "GergeousPhobia" or BeatufulPhobia". I get red, and nervous and I try to avoid it always. May be thats Why I am still single........

ANyway brother, as some frds suggested up, Go out there in confidence and nail down the thang..........Just few times, beleice me next time you will out there in the middle telling jokes to all the people surrounding you

I have the same problem like shambhoo bhole from a year... so guys pls give more suggestions... thanx in advance

It is something you can get better by involving yourself more and more in public appearance u know. I was like that in class presentation, but i was dealing with this kinda situation more frequently - now i have to give presentations to city attorney and governer..i do fine now. Involve a little bit of humor in presentation - that's my trick.

Thank you so much ..you guys...for urs valuable suggestions

More advice needed

Im tired of this sick..so this time I have to get rid of this things...

Appreciated... guys

It's your subconscious mind only.. so get over it.

C'mon guys, give more effective suggestions pls...

Mann just think you are the king of the world. All others are your chelas. Say whatever comes to your mouth and keep quiet for a while. Give a shit to people who go against you.

Thats it.

Dude,

The best way to do this, is by starting "small-talk". Just start saying 'hello' or talk about the weather when you meet new people in the elevator.

When you go to Mcdonals and other places, don't just order, ask them how they are doing? you know? small things?? I am sure you will find it a lot easier to talk to younger people and people who are in your level like hapsis and mexicans or janitors (no pun intended) or people in customer service, who like talking - or they HAVE to talk to you.

Or if you are student, if you can't speak up in class, talk to the Prof after class. I really recommend asking questions in class, because that takes a lot of courage. If nothing else, just raise your hand and say "Prof, i am not following, could we go over this one more time". Try this out a couple of times, this is a good way to build your confidence.

Or join those clubs, what's that called "kettle class" or "tea party" or something, where you go to meet new people who want to learn public speaking. WTF, I can't think of that word right now. But you get the idea.

Good luck.

Seems you suffer from anxiety disorder. It can be treated..

There is very popular method to treat it.. Let me summerize it as follows-

1. Think that this fear as a third party hypothetical creature like a scary animal, imagine it.. and give it a name - lets say 'foo'. This means you are normal person, but this 'foo' attacks you and make you feel like that (increased heart beat, sweating, trembling, fear) .. whenever you are about to talk in group.

2. Medically it has been established fact that no one dies because of social anxiety, stress. This means, foo can not kill you no matter what worse it may be... it just scares you, makes you feel chill in your body.

3. Third step is to make a list of all symptoms you experience when foo attacks you, i.e. when you feel nervous while speaking in group (dry mouth, chilling weaves in legs, increase heart rate, sweating... ).

4. Next and Important step - foo will not hold grip you forever. It will vanish soon .. possibly in few minutes.

OK, with this preparation, now you are ready to fight the war..

1. Next time, when you have to talk in groups, think in advance that - foo will attack you and get mentally prepared for that fact. As expected, foo will show up.. Just accept foo, don't resist.. let foo do what it can..

2. When you talk in group, foo will definitely show up. Wait for foo to appear. Let him come .. Feel him..experience each symptoms.. since you already know what foo will do, it is not surprise or new thing.... and say.. oh. yeah.. I know that too... Tell him (internally), "oh.. mr. foo, so you are here again ? I knew you will be.. And I also know everything, what you will do to me.. It's fine. No worry.. do whatever you can. I am ready to handle." Flow with it.. don't resist.. foo will try its best to scare you this time too, but since you already know its all symptoms.. you just neglect them.. foo will gets tired himself soon. Don't pay attention to it. Instead ASK FOR MORE.. "Hey, what else you can do ? that's it ? common...."

GO ONE STEP AHEAD ..

Don't stop there. Instead of waiting foo to show up,  be warier .. start searching for foo yourself. Go one step ahead, and do anything you were not able to do just because foo used to scare you (you will not die doing that..).  Hunt for foo yourself now.. Could not go on the top of tower and look downwards ? Could not ride roller coaster ? Now is the chance.. Do it now.. . Let foo show up again. .let it come.. feel the symptoms of foo (which you already know..)..experience it...enjoy it.. Do everything that makes foo appear ... Say "hey, where are you  mr. foo? so are not you comming again ? you can not scare me anymore.. .. "

Practice this.. expect foo.. ejoy his drama.. his effort to scare you.. soon foo will not be intersted in you..

For best effect, imagine foo as a funny charater. Like a duck .. quacking around.. and trying to scare you..

----
It sounds funny, but it is effective method.. try it!

my personal experience,
its because of lack of self confidence.

easy steps to follow:
1. when you speak do not care about other people's reaction [ hard to do right]
2. way i achieve (1) is by not looking @ them
3. look at the end of the room. a dark spot or some stationary; non-living things and present your case (O: .... he he he .. works perfectly...

when you can accomplish (1) (2) and (3) for some time.. you will build your self-confidence and think of yourself like the ruler in town.. then you can talk/brag/do anything with confidence.....

no more nervousness issue...

============================
as always
what do i know (O:

wow ANS , I like that one. Foo lai fuuuuu garera pathaune. I am also nervous for class presentation. I will try this trick for sure......... tell u guys my experience later... Thanks

 

P.S   I like sajha. different ppl, different views ... 

First of all thanks to Shambhhoo for raising this issue. I think most of us are facing this problem everyday in our life or once in the past. Some have overcome it and some are fighting for it. I am the one still fighting. From this thread i have learned more idea to overcome it. I think two things are most important if we want to fight with this kind of problem.
1. Becoming mentally strong
I think the way ANS described  is the best way 'Expect foo'
2. Experience and practice more
The more u speak, the more u are used too. Be prepared before presentation to boost ur confidence level. Participate in some group. If u find 'TOASTMASTER' it is the best. u can find this org in most of the city in US.

It happens to everyone in the beginning. Public Speaking is not easy for anyone. Thats why there are comm classes starting from 101...if you still an undergrad take speech classes . it helped me doing my presentations thru out the college year...

and yes make sure you know what you talking as it requires a huge level of confindence..

juss my thought

And Mr Shambhoo, if you a pot head then dun worrie abt it..........its normal...depends on what kinda stuff you burn :)