i was all excited to board the plane and head to us of a (amrika kya). but she was standing there with her wet eyes bidding me farewell. she wanted me to succeed, thus was willing to sacrifice her love. I did not care much i was that insensitive bastard who ignored love and appreciation from your dear ones.


after couple of years of struggle, I returned back to nepal as a warrior who have just conquered some mighty big empire. once again i failed to see how her eyes were glaring and reflecting my success. I completely ignored her. I was no different than a victorious warrior ravaging through virgin territories.
I returned with that pride, and head high. Like last time once again failed to acknowled the tears mesmerizing the separation. I was once again that insensitive. I should not say insensitive but i never did care )O:


exactly after 10 (ten) years. she managed to come to meet me. i did not look at her eyes to see her love and pride in me. I was once again that focused soldier who is happy to perform his duty. but this time i think tide has finally turned. i had this feeling inside me. i was appreciating her so much. everything were vivid like a cinemascope flashback.. i.e. black and white celluloid. then its time for her to go back. finally i came to my senses; i guess deep inside me i had this void. when i took her to the airport. i could not hold my tears. they were flowing like monsoon rain. i never felt like this before.
she told me that i have to be stronger and face next day. i should not be crying. of course i could see her wet eyes. but there she was giving me wisdom. i dare not say a word. i knew that I would be cracking up. she told me this is not what she wanted to see me as "a weak person." She want to see the same strong warrior who was happy to go away from her 10 years ago.

But i was not the same person I was 10 years ago. i have grown up. began to realize what is important in life and what is to be loved and admired.

I turned away from the departures and just walked straight till she was absolutely hidden from my sight. i ran and hid myself in my car and cried. wow that was a relief but it did not last long. suddenly i had this urge to go back and see her. i missed her company and affection.

i sat in my car and drove back to the departure. i know i could do nothing. i cannot force her to stay. as a new born child at mercy of their mother. I looked at my mum checking in and going through the security check. all i could do was sat there, cry and watch her leave.

mum i miss you. i know what you mean to me. i could now apprehend how it is like to part from your loved ones. i wish i knew what you went through 10 years ago and appreciated you more during then and now.

kam chaina bhanne sochechas ki ke ho
tero yeti lamo miss u padana

thapap...nice way to express ur feelings...
Amma i luv u and miss u ...
Always
ur son

Expressing feelings always help you feel better and hope you are feeling a lot better despite that painful/sad departure!

I bet this is fiction, thapap. If not, I respect your feelings...!!

Nicely written, by a Nice Man in Sajha...(Read one thread about you the other day!! :P)

:-)

Camo, I bet he hardly ever writes fiction. Yes, he does use the additive function (fiction) to add extra spice in his anecdotes.

Fun-filled Tuesday for ya'll!

:)

Thapap,
I got the answer of my questions I asked you(not talking abt tech ones though)...Life is like that I guess...and some people can really give unconditional love.And u and I r blessed with such people in life..Don't feel bad neither sad..she is always there with u...afterall u r the part of her....ur writings made me miss HER too...I just hate to hear her voice because of this reason..so I always avoid talking to her....
They are the best! and there is no doubt about it....

P.S. Go , pamper urself..this is the best time to do it...till the things get back to normal.

hmmmmmmmm. i miss mom too :(

Thapap - Looks like the mood on Sajha today is sombre... blame it on the wretched weather :)

Thapap bhai..ho ki buini..
This is why I love my friends in Sajha..they share and they care...Really liked your story..I think everyone reading this can identify with what you went through..I'm just glad you realized the unconditional love of your mom before it's not too late.. I miss everyone back home and I want to cry....:(

thapap,
i miss you tooo...... tsk tsk.....where've you been?

rona mat mere bhai, jab tak main hoon, tumhari maa ko kohi aach nahi aane dunga ....

aaja bhai mere gale lag jaa *hugs*



GABBAR MAIN AA RAHAN HOON :P

LooTe :)

lol loote..you're funny !!

don_key,
sure. i am happy that @ least you have something better 2 do then read my writings.

plymouth,
thanks. yup (O: one way to express my feeling.

flippuuuuuuuuu,
u r absolutely right and u know me too well i guess (O: . hmm (O: or do you really ? (O:

CaMoFLaGed,
now since when I became "the NICE MAN" and what thread are ya talking about. i seem to have missed something?
and flippuuuu answered ur inquiry (O:

wow roman princess cleopatra,
now where is your ceaser?... [ told ya me <<=== the brutus kya] ... (O:
and how do i pamper my self (O:
and what answers are ya talking about? i am completely lost....
we share same sentiment... so we are alike in some fashion (O:

Lemon,
me too.. I MISS MY MUM.

aye aye CAPTAIN. that's what m gonna do.

sUndAy,
hajur ko lagi multiple choice question.
a. thapap is
i. bhai
ii. buini

50% possibility of getting it right... (O: Hope that u have a wonderful quiz. and I am not a bad person kya (O:

Loote,
now common.. u cannot be my brother. then i will have to degrade myself to ur being (O:/..... i am superior than u re kya ... somewhere i was a "biralo" remember... (O: .. but u r such a nice dog and trying to kill GABBAR.. hmm.. i remember him killing ya... poor u..
now i have to take care of myself... and poor u.. my mother is safe (O: thanks to you for giving ur life for MUM..

in a foony note...
gale laag ja kutte .. *hugs*.. and [ not in a gay style (O: ]

Thapap,
I think you are
50% bhai
50% buini :)
I'm sorry..but that's the outcome of your quiz and I had fun solving it...
I think you missed a thread which was dedicated to you by kill o patra..
r u brutus or cassius by the way??
And I don't think you are a bad person..did I say you were a bad person?

sUndAy,
u see there....forget about u implying me being bad... u r making me a hybrid with ur outcome (O: and u r having hell of a fun @ my expense... dyamnnnnnnnnnnnn... save ur hubby or bf.. whoever is in a hell right now (O: .. i cud imagine what he is going through.. but i am sure he is also having helluva fun...

and i think i am Mark Antony how about that... (O: and i luv cleopatra (O: but i am scared of my ending.. but who cares we all have to die one way or the other...
no brutus.. no cassius ... [ i ain't no manipulating senator. neither the one being manipulate.... ]

he he he thapap!!

The only point that made me think it was a fiction is you said you cried a lot in your car, which shows that you are a soft hearted guy. How can a guy with such soft heart not feel anything about his mom for 10 years?? Two questions: Are you sure you cried (literally) in your car?? or are you sure it was 10 years??....:-)

Well, you might have done what flip flop said. (Added some spice..he he he...thoda rona...)

On Serious Note:
It is really a touching piece and your writing took me to those days, when I used to avoid one to one contact with my mom when I was packing my suitcases.

Keep writing thapap ji,

And why not when we get so nice comments from so many beautiful person always...re kyaa..!!

;-)

crying in a car after a mom's departure makes man a soft hearted guy?

so, all those sportspeople........who cry like babies must all be wussies eh? Only those, like i know one around here, who goes around calling his mom a "b!tch" must be the real man! :)

on a serious note:
Thanx for sharing Thapap bro, i personally think it takes A MAN to admit his emotions in a public forum!

Enough of crying aba. I guess it does act as a catalyst to the person who is suffering at the moment!

Any suggestion from my fellow sajhaites so as to cheer up the mood? How about a movie night out (thriller one hai) or a fun-filled-crazy party? :)

I guess we all know have the general idea about how the other person is, hoina ra? Timi manche, ma manche ani sabai manche. :D

aww...thapap!!!

I miss my mommy too!! :( :(

thapa ji,

god bless your caring heart. you certainly made me make a phone call to my mom today.