I'm from Mangolian family and doing Graduate study at US. I had/have lots of Aryain/Brahmin friends back in Nepal/US. Nowdays, I'm in extremly bad mood, reason is simple. Not all but some of my genius brahmin friends says "BHOTE" to Chinese/Japanese/Thai/Vietnamese/etc people. I don't know, unknowingly, that hurts me a lot. I become quickly upset. Can anyone give me suggestion, what to do?

Bhote isn't itself a race. It refers to the people who lived in ancient Tibet which was use to call "Bhot" for Tibet. So similar like people living in Japan called japanese, People living in America called americans, people living in palpa called palpali or people living in Gorkha called Gorkhali...so goes to the people living in Bhot called bhote. later their generation after generation where evere they moved to from Bhot began to be called as bhote.
So it's only a misconcepts of your Brahmin friend to called all chinky eyes Bhote, either it be japanese,or chinese or any mongolians.
Do not be raciest.Divied we fall....(see in nepal we have been divided in so many partys...congress, comunist maobadi, raprapa,etc, we have been divided as races, we have been divided as according to places palpali, jomsome, purbelii, pachimelii,etc. United we stand. Let's all we be united as a whole Nepal and Nepali.
Just a thought...nivaN

well, if i where you, i will let them know that using the word by them offends you. Ask them not to use that word. even if after your objection, they kept on using the word, they are not your friends. Dont hang out with them..

I disagree with nivan even though most of what he said is true. I believe that a race is a distinct population of humans distinguished in some way from other humans. We get confused on the defination of race. The most widely observed races are those based on skin color, facial features, ancestry, and genetics but these are not only the base.

Haha it's like saying i know that's orange juice...but again u say it's not from an orange.
U do say it's all true but u do disagree too. Haha...nice one Nepalithito. Good Humor.:-;

nivaN ji, thanx for your suggestion. I agree with you in one side but disagree from other side. Most of your suggestion is nice but my case is different. Friends(Brahmin) of mine says "kasto bhote rahech" to their own son when they do some food mesh. I know from their expression that when they hate they say bhote to chinese or mangolian. I belong to mongolian but they never say bhote to me and nobody said in Nepal. We are about 27 students (and 71 altogether including kids). Most of them are Brahmins and out of that only 2 or 3 used to say Bhote (to chinese/mangolian people) in fornt of me (other might say within themselves but not with me). I don't understand wheather their intension is to make me angry or .....
I agree with you that we must unite(especially when our country is facing problem, and when we are in abroad) and I know unity is Power. But this issue is making me crazy... I don't know what to do.... Plz somebody give me good suggestion.
nepalithito76 ji, thanx for your suggestion too.

Pagli I really appreciate the way of expressing dissatifaction without bad words in Sajha. Its quite obvious that being a monglian guy you have some sort of moral support to mongolian type people. Man is like that person, they have some sort of analysis to every person within their mind. One thing is really surprising calling bhote to chinese/japanes and even their son ( while making mess). It is natural to call chinese/japnese bhote because of their mongolian type (comparing their physical structre to the people in tibet area). Also it is quite natural to call their son bhote while making mess because people from tibet area take less care about cleanliness ( its due to less water avialable and cold weather in their area - so they dont wash cloth for a long time, dont take shower for a long time, even dont wash their dishes for a long time ).
But using the same word bhote to both person - mongolian face people/ mess making son is not a good choice of word. I can accept that bhote referring to their mess making son is due to limited present knowledge. In my village if some one is dirty people scold their son saying bhote. But in US referring son bhote is different, they should take care of others ( as some one can critic in their privite place - like called newar behind them or bahun behind them - since we dont like calling by caste ). Also they can say bhote to japenese/chinese but not in the place that hurts people ( at least not front of you ). So my conclusion is bhote word referring some nationals ( here in US) and mess making son is a bad choice of word and little respect to others. Also you are their friend - they should take care of you ( anyone) what they speak may hurt. So tell them politely bhote word hurts you. ( just a funny example - my friend is newar and he says ' क्या यार मलाइ त भोटे मन पर्छ आफु पनि भोटे जस्तै देखिन्छु ( and he likes japanese/chinese chicks)'

i have few friends and they call themselves we are bhote/bhoteni..
like they call me bahun and sometimes bahun baje.. they called me even tapare few times.
I dont mind... i dont think there is matter to mind about it. some might not like to be called by race and stuffs. but its ok with me..
just be cool yaar.

Ashim you are right - people indicating by caste depends upon types of person - when I was a kid , majority of students in my class were gurungs - when they used to say - उता जा बाउन -I was really hurt. Perhaps if they say right now, I dont care since I am bhaun and calling me bahun doesnt make any impact. I guess pagali should take in that way. Be positive right?

Pagli, PLEASE don't take those stuffs so PERSONALLY. Racism, castism, namecalling will be there till HUMAN life is there. SO THE BEST THING YOU SHOULD DO IT; ALWAYS DEFEND YOURSELF. Be strong like a TIGER..grrrrrrrr....OK? Good Luck.

-BD

Hi Pagli:

Well, to be honest with you, right now, if I use a derogatory name as "Pagli" (however you have an aundant choice to make your user ID) to call you, do you feel offended??? By referring you by the name "PAGLI" does not hurt, then there should be no offense to you by a simple word as you called "BHOTE."

I was just amazed by your choice of ID name here and you are saying you were hurt by the word of other people's choice. That makes no sense to me.

Also, you are saying that you are doing your graduate study here in the states, and come on girl, what is going on with you??? I am sure you are pretty smart enough to deal with this tiny matter.

I know and it is sad fact that we, Nepalese, instead of celebrating diversity in our country, but the very issue becomes the matter of disintegration within Nepal. Sometimes, I think, what if happened, if the inhabitants of Nepal are either completely Bahun catagory or Bhotay catagory. Will it makes a difference, because all look alike???Look, India, you don't need to go further, all people to me looks like Brahmin features, but inside they have their own devils of separating Northerners and Southerners and so forth. Similarly, your neighboring country China. All look like a "Bhote" catagory, but they also have same problem of naming southerners or northers or etc etc (southerners according to Chinese are Barbarian). And the funny part is the same "Bhote" looking Chinese hate so much to "Bhote" looking Japanese.

I know it is a complex issue. And especially a country like Nepal, the situation is worse. Most of the people are ignorant of so many things: the worse thing is we have educated ignorants. That is a sad reality.

However, Pagli, thanks for sharing your feelings with us. I wish I can change your attitude towards those issues- It is in your hand how to handle that. And I am sure that you know how to handle that....

Hope to hear more from you on Sajha...

I think Calling bhote among nepali is little common. Last year when I went to my maita in Nepal with my one year old son ( who was chubby) Everyone started to say how come bahun ko nati became bhote!!! I think becasue he was chubby but I did not care becasue it does not matter to me what people think.

So pagli don't worry, do not let your bahun freind bother you. It is ok to be bhote or bahun, chhetri or whatever man made category you are in. People have been like that ever since and they are not going to change, and we can not stop their mouth. Do not let those people dostract your happiness.

Good luck!!!

well call "bhote" or "asians" as they say popularly,,,i am like the girls with bhoteni look,,, i dont like the ones with long nose stikin out,,big eyes as if they are going to pop out any time,,bhotenis are the best,,better than any blondes or bahunnis..be it japanese, koreans, thais or nepalese..

Yea rie don't care about others sayin' ya bhote, just call them names baq, who carez, if they try ta hurt you, deal with it, hurt them baq and let the sleepin' dogs keep lieing :S:S

Okay the point of this thread doesn't mean you really hafto be degrading other castes like chettris, bahuns or blondes to make "bhote" faced people make happy bijays....

Is the racist term for nepali people called as "bhote" like chinese have chink and black people have nigga?

It's not just brahmins who indulge in using the term "Bhote". Magars, Rais, Gurungs, all do the same thing against Sherpas and Tibetans. What I have been told is that the term "Bhote" is reserved for Tibetans and Sherpas only. I have met some bahuns who use the term "bhote" liberally to describe Magars, Rais, Gurungs, etc, as well but most of these people use it disparagingly to put down people.
I used to live in an apartment, in proximity of which lived other Nepali families. One family was Magar, while the other was "bhote". So people from the Magar family would come to me and made disparaging remarks about the "bhote" family. I personally believe all humans are created equal, so when I hear racist/ethnocentric/bigoted statements, I literally cringe. I was extremely uncomfortable when I was made to listen to these remarks, but what am I supposed to do?

...oh come on...get over it man...don't be a baby

This is the first time I've ever heard someone using the word 'Bhote' to describe Japanese/Chinese.

Anyway, here's my take.

I am a Bhote - have been called so tauntingly in my younger age on the streets of Kathmandu - along with the Newari word for it 'Se' (sp?). But, i am not Bhote from Bhot, Tibet. But, I see it as okey for me to call it to myself.

Here lies the problem. When one is called 'Bhote' by non-Bhotes, it is usually in a deragatory form. If one wants to identifye me by my caste, do it by that, but not by an implied deragatroy word.

A perfect example, if I may try, would be like using the word 'Nigger' to African Americans, while they do it so among themsleves, seemingly without any hint of racism.

So, the "N" word in the U.S. to me is quite comparable to the "B" word used in Nepal or among Neplaese. (What word to use then, you may ask. Although it's in a totally different language, "Tibetan" for people from Bhot has a normal tone equal to that of 'African American'. But again, it all depends on how people use it - as we know, Negros and Colored People were perfectly alright vocabularies at one time ).

Just my two cents - for a healthy discussion only.

Pagli ji,
"Bhote" bhanera risaayera bhaneko hoina ni ta......maya garera po "Bhote" bhaneko ta....testo saano kurama mind garnu hudaina......

A very live-wire topic - very brave of you to bring it up, Pagli. No matter what turn this thread takes and no matter whether you get helpful advise from this thread or not , you have taken the courageous first step of speaking out about an issue that many are affected and bothered by but don't speak about in public for fear of conflict , further humiliation or ego damage. Hats off to you.

My own take on this is - I have absolutely *NO* sympathy for people who knowingly use language that is insensitive to other peoples feelings -be it about gender, caste, ethnicity, language, race, sexual orientation etc. As the postings on this thread have shown, ethnic insensivity flows in many different directions and is inter-twined strongly with ignorance.

A few points crossing my mind right now are:

(1) F*ck them all: Anyone who makes insensitive remarks about some aspect of another persons identity is either

(a) Ignornant ie doesn't realize what he or she is saying could make another person feel bad. Many people in Nepal grow up in families where people dont have friends and contacts outside of their castes and communities. Such people would not have an understanding about the culture and heritage of other communities and often try to find convenient ways to view the others. Those Bahuns and Chettris who refer to all Tibeto-Burmans as "bhotes" or those SETAMAGURALIS who refer to Bramhins and Chettris collectively as "Bahuns" are some examples. In some cases their intent could be malevolent but in many cases it is the intellectual and mental capabilties they have developed that do not enable them to see the complexities of other people's identities. It is simply easier to paint everyone with one stroke than to take the time and energy to understand the identity of others.

I know many people who are like this and some of them are very nice but if they get into trouble for making a caste-insensitive remark, then I will have no sympathy for them because I feel they deserve it. In this day and age, *everybody* must make an effort to understand and respect the cultures of others around them and if they dont then they deserve the consequences of not doing so. Period.

or (b) A mean loser - The person knows his words will affect the other person but knowingly makes casteist or racist remarks in order to either vent some frustration or just to feel good about himself. This person may be holding a grudge against another person from your caste or community but may choose to take it out on you if he finds you are vulnerable.This is pretty common and I view people like this as sore losers

When confronted with a situation like this, especially when it is obvious that the person has the capability to be sensitive about such a thing, I often choose to confront the person up-front. People typically prey on others when they think the other peson will do nothing about it. Some people simply function like that ie their predatory instincts take over when they seen a vulnerable person. I have observed such behaviour countless times in people from all over the world. So if anyone makes a remark at you that you are uncomforatble with, chances are they know you might be uncomfortable with the remark, but chose to make it any way, because, either conciously or subconciously, they thought they could get away with it. Give them back their own medicine is what I say. F*ck sobriety and propriety. If they dont care about how you feel, why should you?

(2) Take pride in yourself and your heritage No matter who you are, rich or poor, educated or not, sauve or unsophisticated you live only once and you deserve the best the world has to offer. Everyone has something to be proud of - whether it be your parents, your siblings, your family, your village or city, your forefathers, or simply yourself. There is no culture in the world that is better than another. My own culture, in spite of its blatant flaws and shortcomings is the best for me and I hope so is everyone elses for them. When you feel good about who you are you feel like standing up for it.

I could go on and on but I better stop here before my session times out :). They very fact that you have chosen to bring this issue up shows a remarkable trait in your character and value system that I think willl help you deal with this issue.

Good luck!

With goodwill towards all and malice towards none.

:)

Captain,
yo manchhe bhadkaaune kaam nagaram na yaar. Saathi-saathi jiskera Bhote bhaneko holaa ni ta......tara tetti saano kuraalai liyera, jaatiya bibaad garnu raamro hoina k.