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Please Add your jokes Here :
घर भाडामा खोज्ने ले एउटा घर भेट्टाएछ र घर मालिकलाइ सोधेछ,
भाडावाल-के तपाईको घरको पछाडि ढोका छ?
घरपेटि-छन त छ, तर साँचो संधै म संग हुन्छ, किनकि तिमी भन्दा पैलेको मान्छे त्यै ढोकाबाट भागेको थियो!

What You Wish For

Mrs.O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father Rafferty.

"Hello," said the Father, "and how is Mrs.O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?"

She replied "That you did Father.

The priest asked, "And are there any little ones yet?"

"No, not yet Father," said she.

"Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you."

"Thank you, Father." And away she went.

A few years later they met again. "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?"

"Oh, very well," said she. "And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?"

"Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles -- ten in all."

"Now isn't that wonderful," he said "And how is your lovely husband?"

"Oh," she said, "he's gone to Rome. To blow out the darn candle

Bihar Driving License?
==============================================================

DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
????????????????????

NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.

He will give you the licen.

If you dot know how to fill, copy from your phriend (dost) applikason.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.

1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dont no (Check karet box)

2. phust name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Laluprasad (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Don?t no (Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dont no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed (Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yourj: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leabe blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest kilass attended)

12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :

____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, pleaje do not copy thumb impression also. Pleaje provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEAJE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DERIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

***************************************************************************************************************
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intended addressee only. Any unauthorized use, dissemination of the
information, or copying of this message is prohibited. If you are not the
intended addressee, please notify the sender immediately and delete this message
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बिरामी- डाक्टर साहेब १ गिलास पानी दिनोस् त।
डाक्टर- किन र?
बिरामी-भर्खरै घाँटिको अपरेसन गरेको लिग हुन्छ कि हुन्न भनेर हेर्न नि!

usofa, your joke is very funny. Please do post more if you have them.

A Daaku entered in a sardar home ...

Daku : bol Sona kahan hai>

Sardar : oye pura ghar khali hai, jaha chahe waha so ja ...

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Why nice guys suck: .d

Nice guys are ugly! They haven't the air of sensuality about them that bad guys do, because they just haven't had lives.

Nice guys think women are a 'special species' from another planet.

Nice guys suffocate their girlfriends, expecting them to be their lovers, mother, sister, princess, china doll, and the Goddess who brings up the sun in their mornings. They also expect their girlfriends to be their best buddy, because 'real' guys won't have anything to do with the geeks!

Nice guys sit there entranced by their girlfriends as the girlfriend carries on the whole conversation by themselves. Nice guys haven't lived so they have nothing to add to the conversation. Nice guys bore women to death.

Nice guys stare at their girlfriends in total worship awe. Women find it difficult to eat when they are being visually consumed by a staring, mindless dope.

Nice guys quickly look at you when they do a social blunder (such as fart) to see if you caught it. Who cares!

Nice guys pretend to be 'just our friend' and then go home and fantasize about us mothering their 'nice guy' kids.

Nice guys have no real life or interest of their own. They sit around and dream of getting a girlfriend to fill their empty lives.

Nice guys feel so undeserving of 'awesome you' that they make you feel that you have, most assuredly, picked a real loser.

Nice guys think women are porcelain goddesses. Women don't want to have to keep living up to a surreal image. If you belch in front of us we won't break!

Nice guys think that if a woman doesn't want to have anything to do with their boring, empty shell of manlihood, they're stupid bitches who would rather be with a jerk that beats them. Yep, this is every woman's dream.

Nice guys are too STUPID to figure out that woman don't want to be the leader on the dance floor. :D

Nice guys wear tucked in golf shirts and make a clean, straight part in their hair, exactly two-inches above their left ear. This really turns woman on. So sexy! Why can't Fabio and Brad Pitt take fashion and grooming lessons from nice guys?

Nice guys sit there like passive puppies, waiting for their girl to make all the moves. This is because woman love to feel undesirable.

Nice guys can fool our parents. They are often quoted by the respected elder as being kind, loving, committed. Translation: Gay

Nice guys suck because you can't complain about them to your friends.

Dating a nice guy is like dating yourself. If you like Broccoli, he likes Broccoli. If you hate Jay Leno, he hates Jay Leno. If you order a Shirley Temple, he orders a Shirley Temple. If you are pro capital punishment, he is pro capital punishment. If you think Austin Powers was disgusting he thinks Austin Powers was disgusting. If you prefer Kotex over Tampax...

Nice guys eventually turn into jerks too, so why not just date a jerk right from the start and skip all that insecurity stage?

Nice guys laugh at your jokes...before you've even reached the punchline.

Nice guys quickly get emotionally attached. Sucking the life of you.

Nice guys eagerly show affection. Who can appreciate that of which they didn't have to work for?

Nice guys are gentle, tender, pedal-soft lovers. Woman love this...hopefully her nice guy will wake her up to let her know that he is coming. "I'm not hurting you now, am I hon.?"

Nice guys will never, ever eagerly lust and devour your hot, throbbing body or steamy, sweetened inner core. Nice guys can't hear your body screaming, "hold me, touch me, RAVISH me! f*** ME NOW!!!"

Hopefully, your nice guy will eventually turn into a jerk and cheat on you (so someone else can endure his lack of lovemaking skills).

Nice guys will make you feel guilty if you spend a minute anywhere but with them.

Nice guys will buy you flowers. Then ask you all evening long if you liked them.

Nice guys will never actually tell their girlfriends when they don't like what she's doing. Instead, he will get mad about it six months later.

Nice guys are hideously insecure. Nice guys never do for you anything for the simple sake of giving. Everything they do for their girlfriends are like stock investments. The stock is up at Acceptance and Approval. Each gift he gives you, or loving gesture he shows you, is really a guaranteed down payment toward a future of him clinging to you like a drowning man to a life-saver.

Nice guys are confused about romance. They either go overboard and bring a dozen roses to a "lets go for a walk in the park" date...or...they are so unsuave and unsure of themselves that they hang around you, pretending to be your friend. Yep, I just love an unconfident, self-doubting man.

Nice guys are so desperate to please that they have no identity of their own. Ask a nice guy his thoughts on anything. Guess what? He doesn't have any!

Nice guys are easily used. I just love a man I have no respect for.

Nice guys suffer from the "Night in Shining Armor" syndrome. They pick out the sleaziest, "hard luck" cases to rescue. Moral of the story? Wear condoms while sleeping thru the sex act with your nice guy.

Nice guys are so eager to please that they rarely speak up when something bothers them. Thus, they can make their girlfriends feel guilty when they say, "Everything I did, I did for you".

Nice guys truly think that they are making their girlfriends happy by sacrificing their own life, desires, wants, needs, opinions, and identities to that of their girlfriends. They can then claim that "no one will ever love you as much as I do". Translation: "You are such a bitch, be grateful I'm willing to put up with you and love you anyway."

Nice guys make you their Life, their only source of happiness. Woman love this burden placed on them.

Nice Guys really don't like themselves. Insecurity is not sexy, it is suffocating, clinging and obsessive. Issues with nice men are unbearable. Issues with jerks are workable.

matrix,

that was way below the belt...

hence, from now on no more nice guy for me (o:
i am gonna be a jerk......


==================================================
as all(ways) in Jest
lesson learnt today :
do not be a nice guy be a jerk [ this is what women like]
anyway
once again
what do i know? with all these confusion

i am gonna be a jerk......
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When weren't you? :P

Usofa,
I really like the application!
Thanks......I have been laughing the whole day.....

Dang Rose explained it in detail - I fall in that category - I need to make a huge change in my life. Thanx for the advice.

''Why nice guys suck: .d _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Issues with jerks are workable. ''

Oh my god! who are you insulting at MatrixRose jyu? Ki, you got a nice guy instead of a jerk lately?
If you have so much hatred against nice guys, why don't you find some jerks and have fun whole of your life? Palai palo- jerking with one tonight and with the other the following night. After all you have been jerking ever since your adolescence, you will continue to cheat and have fun with jerks even after the nice guy gives you the social security you need after your organs get wrinkled.

Jerk le jerk garda garda kasaile napatyaera budhi bhaisakchhan keti haru, tei pani ultai nice guys sucks re. Kati furti? Eso bahira tira padhera dui char jana khaire/kale sita sutepachhi manchhe lai gandai naganne. Jerk le nichornu nichorera chokra pare pachhi chhadera hiddhinchha ani balla thaa pauchha nice guys ra jerk ko farak. Sutne bela ma jerk chahine, gift nice guys le dinu parne - mannu parchha budhi kanya harulai! Anuhar sukera chauri pare pachhi balla thaa hunchha who sucks.

Gilla garne pani hadd hunchha ni yar. Esto KT haru lai ta, I don't touch them even if they lie naked in front of me. Hana keta haru le keti nai paudaina ki keho achel, budhi kanya haruko bhau ta nikai badhe jasto chha. OH Hello MatrixRose ko nice guy?

Just for fun hai gals. PLS DO not mind :)

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wante! d to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

Imust admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

####################################################

Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only inTennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we w e together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for! a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.

;P

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यो चाहि अती नै धेरै भयो मेट्रिक्स रोज। केटीहरु पनि कहा सम्मका खराब हुन्छन् भन्ने कुरा हामिलाई राम्रो सित थाहा छ। खुल्ला कीताब(ओपनबुक) ले भनेको कुरा ठिकै हो।

An unmarried woman died. This was what they found in her will.
"Please don't write 'Miss' in front of my name in the tombstone of my grave, because I didn't miss as much as people people think".

Sorry I wrote people twice.

sorry, 'people' दुइ चोटि भएछ ।

ha ha ha. 'nice guys' is simply a humor (with a bit of truth unfortunately). Probably, a panel of smart girls researched on their nice guys and drafted their conclusion by addressing the weaknesses of each individuals.

Bhanna nahune, afno pani ek duita testai kamjori bhanne ki characteristic chha kya. Dukhha paine ho ki ;). Anyways, lets not become serious on pure jokes and bitch some nice girl. One can read the same joke everywhere in the net. Like in this one:

- http://www.thehumorarchives.com/humor/0001030.html

very nice peachy. I really need some of those cards.