I just visited The Nepal Digest ( www.thenepaldigest.org) site after a very long time, and found out -- much to my dismay -- that it has ceased publication as of last March.

The parting editorial implies that the editorial team quit over its supposed inability to implement free and fair editorial decisions, and hurls veild blame at other people (whoever they might be!)

My question: What happened, guys? Were the differences of opinion so great that
the publication had to, well, die out like this?

************

Likewise, sometime late last January, The NATION newsweekly in Kathmandu died out after the editors and the publishers had a falling out after only a few months together.

My question: Again, were the differences of opinion so great that the patrika had to be killed?

*********

My observation: While working in Nepal as a business advisor, one thing I noticed
again and again was this. That most business partnerships (among Nepalis), started
with great hopes among friends, eventually soured to bitterness . . . so much so
that people who were earlier friends had become sworn enemies by the time the
ashes cooled off from the corpses of their business.

********

My question: Are most of us Nepalis fundamentally incapable of working on a team that has people who hold different ideas from us?

Alternatively, when the going gets tough, is it easier for us to fight with one another than address the problems at hand so that at least minially amicable solution can be found?

******

My comment: Isn't it ironic that while we do everything nice and polite with one another to avoid conflicts and confrontations, our lives in Nepal and Nepali societies might well
be mired in unaddressed and simmering conflicts . . . ranging from that of the Maoists
to businesses gone sour?

oohi
ashu

I used to be a subscriber (someone check the spelling) of that magazine. When the last post said it was being closed down due to differences, it saddened me. The articles there were professionally written. Ujjwal dai and the whole team, it was great e-magazine while it lasted, thankyou.

Ashu has brought up a very important topic. From my experience I have realized that it is very hard for Nepalese to engage in a meaningful discussion or conflicts where differences in opinions occur. We either resort to name calling, or continuously deny agreeing to the other?s opinion even though we may at some point think we are wrong. Sajha is a prime example. There are many such events like, soccer match in ANA, Nepalese gathering in Sydney, or be it any small apartment gatherings, where once conflicts arise, we do not deal with it as a team or in a peaceful way, but rather get aggressive and leave with sour experience. We may all be suffering from either inferiority or superiority complex or may be both.

Political revolution is not going to suffice...WE NEED A CULTURAL REVOLUTION!!!

After all, it's the land of the gurkhas, ha! we are typically called 'ekohoro', 'bad tempered' and 'junge' around the world.

I completely agree with Poonte. I do need a social change.
And Ladybug, let me add to your sentence, "fter all, it's the land of the gurkhas, ha! we are typically called 'ekohoro', 'bad tempered' and 'junge' around the world" which all sums up to 'dumb.'

*I do need a social change* should have been *we do need a social change.*

Hurray,

I don't think "we may all be suffering from either inferiority or superiority complex or may be both".

A more likely explanation, IMHO, is: When we get into doing something with others, we do not spend enough time on:

CLARIFYING our expectations in advance so that there are no unwarranted hidden assumptions. We also do not spend time thinking through conditions that would make
us amicably walk AWAY from doing that thing with others.

If the partnership goes well, fine.
If not, then, jhagada that simply drains energy and resources will result.

Being blunt and straightforward -- if a tad confrontational -- right at the beginning and clarifying expectations with friends/colleagues and business partners can be seen as a sign of rudeness among Nepalis.

But later on, politeness and friendliness become liabilities when it's time to make some tough decisions and face some harsh realities WITHOUT jeopardising long-standing personal relations.

My advice to the then clients?

START with the harsh assumption that this partnership is doomed, business-wise.

Make a list of conditions under which, if the business is doomed, then you will kill the business, but save the friendship.

In case of a jhagada, agree in advance what the solution PROCESS is going to be so that at the time of the jhagada you can focus on finding solutions and NOT on one another.

oohi
ashu

Ashu,
I was talking in a more basic level, like in situations that occur in day to day life, and not just in business. You have rightly mentioned that we are not very confrontational when we need to be. Instead, we stay polite, and try to avoid any imminent conflicts at least for the short-run. But when we do get into such situations, we are not mentally prepared to come out unhurt or without hurting. We do not know how to discuss problems, which handled properly could in fact be fruitful and resolve into something good. We are easily driven by our emotion which manily is anger. And we all know, anger is a secondary emotion. There's got to be something driving it, right?

Poonte you are right Nepal needs a cultural revolution for sure. If you look at lot of cultural practices they are mostly antiquated and does not make sense in today's 21st century.

Starting from caste system, there are a lot of cultural practices that are holding us down. Instead of misplacing our pride in ancient cultural practices saying that's what makes us, we need to get rid of those customs that breaks us, or enforces unnecessary practices.

too many chiefs, not enough braves...many orgs become unsustainable when they become personality rather than performance driven. maybe tnd didn't suffer from this, i dunno. something else will take its place, if need be.

Ujjwal Bhattarai is a staunch democrat. Rajpal Singh is a NUANCED monarchist, let's say, a political photocopy of our own Ashu Tiwari. What's more is that Rajpal is good at harassment and intimidation. What happened with TND was inevitable.

Ujjwal has explained in his goodbye editorial what happened at TND. A month or so ago I had a chance (in a group email) to ask Rajpal about the case. He sounded not very comfortable to talk about it in public.

Since the conversation between Rajpal and I was public, I hope it will not be unethical to bring it here. Besides, it is quite entertaining. So here it goes, je ta parlaa:


>From: "Deepak Khadka" <. . . . . . >
>To: "RJPS" <. . . . . >
>Cc: . . . .
>Sent: Monday, May 23, 2005 9:30 PM
>Subject: Re: This show must move on! Engage we must!


> RJPS sir,
>
> Where's the money ? And don't forget, gotta paly by the rules. Here they
> call it civility.
>
> Sincerely
> D
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "RJPS" <. . . . . >
> To: "Deepak Khadka" <. . . . . . >
> Cc: . . . . .
> Sent: Monday, May 23, 2005 9:19 PM
> Subject: Re: This show must move on! Engage we must!
>
>
>> Wonderful Deepak ji!
>>
>> I am as common of a man as you can find one lahure in "naya sadak".
>>
>> Even though your salutations are rather flatering - I'd have to
>> request politely that you might want to save such biggoted views to
>> your shrink sessions :-)
>>
>> Humor aside - I am happy to engage with your curiousity from anything
>> to everything and of course TND can be a small part of that if you
>> choose.
>>
>> With due respect to other member's time and electronic bandwidth, you
>> can choose to engage yours sincerely in my personal email as well.
>>
>> Your choice sir - but lets move on to more pertinant topics that are
>> larger than our own personal lives - such as "BEING MINDFUL OF 30
>> MILLION SOULS" not just YOURS and MINE!
>>
>> Many thanks for your cordial, kind, thought-provoking and elequoent views
>> :-)
>>
>> Of course - I'd humbly put forth that "cordial salutations" are
>> offered for the first round only.
>>
>> I apologize to rest the group for our unfortunate digress!
>>
>> Fondly Regards,
>> RJPS
>> New York.
>>
>>
>> On 5/23/05, Deepak Khadka wrote:
>>> RJPS,
>>>
>>> Nobody has responded to a row of your emails. Just in case the message
>>> did
>>> not reach to you. Please do not come to steal the show (see I know !). If
>>> you must, bring your own money. Do not borrow from some Ms. Preeti or Ms.
>>> Bijen. What else ? Oh yes, please keep your Babusahebie arrogance and
>>> Pungmangey sarcasm to yourself. I hope this is not too much to ask.
>>>
>>> Tai tai, yo sano jigyasa binti bisaun ki.
>>>
>>> How is the kingdom of TND doing after your highness' successful royal
>>> coup
>>> detat to force pro-democrat editors to resign ? Is your highness
>>> committed
>>> to re-establish "democracy" in TND after three years or is it permanent ?
>>>
>>> Hajur ko Tabedar
>>> Deepak


>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "RJPS" <. . . . . . . >
>>>> To: . . . . .
>>> >Sent: Monday, May 23, 2005 11:24 AM
>>>> Subject: Re: This show must move on! Engage we must!
>>>>
>>>>
>>> > Dear All:
[skipped]
>>> > I have missed a lot on "mantras" and "tantras" on the topic of
>>> > "Ganatantra". Magicians and their "matras" and "tantras" have often
>>> > perked my intrigue once in a while in the past. I have seen the
>>> > similar magicians using their "matras and tantras" here as well.
[skipped]
>>> > On the practical side of the matter, "The Voice of Reason...." or
>>> > elequoently put for simplicity the terminology "MIddle Ground" - is
>>> > VERY ALIVE ! On the theoretical side of the matter - sure engage
>>> > everything including the gremlins under my bed because it doesn't HURT
>>> > (metaphorically speaking) anybody. No doubt - all emotional ramblings
>>> > and pusedo logics of "ganatantra" belong to the later category (with
>>> > all cordial respect of course).
[skipped]
>>> > Standing with my two ruppees as "dui paisa" doesn't buy anything
>>> > anymore!
>>> >
>>> > Fondly Regards,
>>> > RJPS
>>> > New York
[skipped]

Another cyber warfare brewing up on the horizon.

Saroj, I wouldn't call it a warfare yet. I mean it's true that we are waiting for a war for democracy in the country and when it will happen it will happen in every places including the net.

However that is going to take some time. What is happening right now is that we all are, according to our intellect, affiliation and other personal factors, progressively branching out into two warring factions, pro-democracy and pro-monarchy in various shades, forms and gaits.

So these friendly discussions going on among fellow Nepalis is not a war proper. It's rather a preparation to the war that now appears inevitable in the country. The war is going to be much more uglier. Read that on Gyanendra's defiant face.

Nepe wrote:

"Rajpal Singh is a NUANCED monarchist, let's say, a political photocopy of our own Ashu Tiwari."


Nepe, thank you for throwing this flame.
Fortunately, it's verifiably FALSE.

Meantime, let me say that unlike some of your comrades in DC (who you now consider
to be pukka democrats based on your friendships with them and based on how you went on a couple of democracy picnics with them), let the verifiably true record show that:

Neither I nor my immediate family members have ever benefited or been harmed from any patronage or lack thereof of the royal family in any capacity ever.

Let me repeat that so that the message clearly sinks in:

Let the verifiably true record show that: Neither I nor my immediate family members have ever benefited or been harmed from any patronage or lack thereof of the royal family in any capacity ever.

True, my father was a civil servant at a time when most Nepali college graduates went into civil service. He raised us children and gave us education through his "suddha talab" in the '70s and the '80s. Feel free to look into this with your own sources.

That is why, you see, since all politics is personal, there is NO burning personal reason for me to support or oppose the King TO THE DEGREE you do. The King has done me no harm nor has he hurt me.

As of now.

Intellectually though, as a student of economics, I am NOT interested in the 'normative' issues of how the King OUGHT to behave or what he OUGHT to do and what OUGHT to be done to him by others -- concerns that keep YOU and other democrats awake at
night.

I simply accept the straightforward fact that King as a self-interested player in this political game who's there to maximize his own hold on to power.

As simple as that.

Once I accept -- in a value-neutral way -- the King as a self-interested player in the political game who's there to maximize his own hold on to power, it makes it easier
for me to try to understand why he does what he does,and what he is likely to do
next.

The point is NOT say that what he does is necessarily right or wrong (which are moral judgements) . . . the point here is that there is a self-interested reason for the king
to act in ways he does.

That is why, I am constantly amazed by your kind of textbook democrats who get caught up in the "what the King ought to do or what ought to be done to him" issues while neglecting "why he does what he does" to THEN craft a realistic strategy to counter the King's influence to change the flow of the game.

Last year, you were all agog about the Ratna Park demonstrations. Even though I was in Kathmandu, you were the one giving us almost live updates of the historic Ratna Park julus. You even scolded me on Sajha for NOT taking me in those demonstrations.

But you could never understood that whenever I went to Ratna Park to watch the julus, all I and my friends collected was disappointment about the lack of direction of the julus and disgust about how parties were doing their jhagada even there.

No wonder then that the Ratna Park julus -- despite your cyber-enthusiasm -- fizzled into a farce in reality. Even now, political parties have a hard time mustering support form the janata to do anything. This is a BITTER pill for you to swallow.

As for my pro-democracy credential, let me say that the happiest day of my life was 17 July 2000, when -- after months of assisting activists who were/are my friends from
my US days -- more than 100,000 Nepalis in Far Western Nepal were declared free
from bondage and were said to have all their political rights and could live as FREE citizens.

The way some of their representatives smiled, laughed and danced to the tune of pure joy near Bhadra Kali in Kathmandu upon hearing the Radio announcement still moves
me to greatly positive emotions about the redemptive power of political rights.

Nepe, that was/is personal . . . something big of which I was a minor part of, something I can always relate to.

The tragedy of Nepali democracy was that it was never made 'personal' for people to tend it as their own. Only the netas made it 'personal' for their own gains. That's why, when the netas now ask for people's support for democracy, people are understandably leery/wary about getting it back AGAIN for the netas ONLY.

And what do these so-called netas do?
So desperate are they that some of them even try to enlist the Maoists -- who are pure evil -- to come in and help them. How low can they go?

If anything, having personally seen how democracies have played out in the US, UK, France and in all of South Asian countries, let's just say that I consider myself a 'nuanced democrat'.

oohi
ashu


If

I voted for the $87 billion dollars, before I voted against it. Some one here sounds similar.

Nepali journalists are out on the street NOT for democracy, but for a valid component of democracy called press freedom.

Why?

Because press freedom is PERSONAL to them. Without it, they simply cannot do good work. It's much easier for them to rally for something that affects them PERSONALLY than something that affects them in an abstract manner. That is why, Nepali journalists have asked other journalists to join their rallies; they have NOT asked for the janata to join in.

Likewise, Nepali lawyers are out on the street.
Why?

Again, NOT for democracy in an abstract sense, but for a valid component of democracy called judicial independence.

With the Royal bodies interfering into the working of courts and even replacing the courts in most cases, lawyers are personally affected, and they want to voice their words of protests.

The challenge to political parties is this: Craft a message for the janata. Say how democracy is 'personal' to their welfare. Convince the janata of your message. Then maybe, the janata will come behind you. Else, you are left with just jumping up and down, spouting borrowed theories about democracy, calling names to others,
reaching out to the Maoists and what not, and sharing your sob-stories with
foreigners.

oohi
ashu

Nepe, by cyber warfare I am not hinting upon any war on my motherland. But rather the verbal warfare between you and RJPS if he happens to glance upon sajha. And the verbal warfare between you and ashu when he quotes

"Rajpal Singh is a NUANCED monarchist, let's say, a political photocopy of our own Ashu Tiwari."

Which he did and I'm awaiting the next episode.

I respect Ashu's thought regarding "Let the verifiably true record show that: Neither I nor my immediate family members have ever benefited or been harmed from any patronage or lack thereof of the royal family in any capacity ever.
.....That is why, you see, since all politics is personal, there is NO burning personal reason for me to support or oppose the King TO THE DEGREE you do."

Nepe, I wonder why you and few others oppose the King to the degree you do. With any kind of political system in place in Nepal, you are bound to see corruption. You can HOPE that the next one is better than this, but HOPE is all you got. You don't want to lead the country into something that you only HOPE would be true.

Obviously everyone's free to think differently, but in my opinion, I don't see anything wrong with giving the King the time that he has asked for. If he doesn't let go of power by holding democratic elections in the time that he has asked for THEN, things are not going to be pretty.

You can't be impatient in politics. The royal family has been in power for hundreds of years. If he asks for 3 years to gradually transfer powers, then I don't think it's a big deal. Patience is important at this stage. After 3 years we have every right to get down and dirty in the streets and underground. But right now patience is a virtue.

I hate personal attacks when one is merely presenting his opinions. Everyone should be free to present their opinions without being personally attacked and catagorized as king supporter or not.

I'm surprised that few of the vocal anti king posters have not called Ashu as a King's supporter. Even Nepe and Poonte, now anil j shahi, was quick to term anyone who didn't support the democratic movement right now as a kings supporter.

Nepe, by his own admission on Sajha once, comes from a communist background.

Among Nepali communists, as with communists everywhere, thoughts are generated
by debating in an echo chamber .. . where you talk ONLY to people who already share your political beliefs and whatever you say is echoed back to you. Anyone who deviates from the party line or questions the assumptions behind the party-line thoughts are thrown out or punished .. . a milder version of how Maoism operates today in Nepal.

Over time, the effects or the imprints of such trainings, undertaken in one's youth, do not go away easily.

That is why, in an open forum like this, since he can't say "gaddhar" to those
who don't share his political beliefs to the degree he holds them, he has to find a
way to reduce them to caricatures (even when those caricatures are false).

This explains his penchant for calling "raja ko chamcha" to anyone who dares differ
from his Party Line. This is how it goes.

Meantime, some old-time Nepali communists -- even as they build houses in Kathmandu and send their kids to America for education and employment -- are still waiting for the collapse of capitalism!!

Then again, by now, I am quite used to Nepe's calling me everything under the sun. Dealing with him on Sajha prepares me well to deal with the tactics of communist ideologues in real life in Nepal.

oohi
ashu

3 curiosities to Saroj:

1. Saroj says: The royal family has been in power for hundreds of years.
My question: What they did for hundred years? ---> Made Nepal the poorest in the World? Made Nepalese illiterate? Closed our eyes? Put in dark? Made us slave? Can you point our only a good thing they did in 235 years or so? --- Please analyze both 15 years and 235 years. My view is that the progresses in every sector during 15 years are far more better than those in 235 years. You are allowed to think differently but do not try to mislead the general people like me who do not have any link with any political ideologies.
2. Saroj says: If he (King) asks for 3 years to gradually transfer powers, then I don't think it's a big deal.
My curiosity: कुकुरलाई मासुको हड्डि खान दिएर फिर्ता गर्छ भन्ने आस छ अझै छ तपाईँलाई? यदि छ भने आजैदेखी फालिदिनुस्... कृपया यस्ता कुरा फेरी नदोहोर्याउनुस् किन भने १५ बर्षमा नेपालीहरुको ज्ञान यति फराकिलो भा छ कि, अब तपाईँको २ सताब्दि अघिको तरिका सुन्ने कोहि छैनन् यहाँ।
Saroj says: I hate personal attacks when one is merely presenting his opinions. Everyone should be free to present their opinions without being personally attacked and categorized as king supporter or not.
My Comment: Thanks GOD !!! I am hearing this sentence from SAROJ. Thank you man. What I have been silently observing here in Sajha is that SAROJ is at the top to attack personally, especially democrats. It is VERY CLEAR.

That's all
-----
OK