There is a new hindi movie about swapping wife where Siddartha Koirala is an Actor. He is Manisha Koirala's brother.

Salokya writes:

"मेरो उद्देश्य त नेपाली समाज यौनमा कति उदार बन्दै गइरहेको छ भनी देखाउनु मात्र हो"

*****

My God, What an impossibly lofty उद्देश्य!!

But the question is: WHICH नेपाली समाज are you talking about?

There is NO such thing as some monolithic, one-size-fits-all (no pun intended, sorry!)
नेपाली समाज anywhere in and out of Nepal.

Male -famale relations of Rana Tharus of Kanchanpur, for instance, are different from the male-female relations among the SJB Ranas of Thapathali, and so on.

Besides, with a population growth rate that is scarily one of the highest in the world, surely Nepalis know more than one way of achieving sexual satisfaction, hoina ra?

Besides, in a country of 24 million-plus people, what wonder is it that there are
some who enjoy spouse-swapping and other forms of apparently consensual -- if not exactly ordinary -- sexual practices?

Do these wife-swappers make up the mainstream?
No.

Are they and their cohorts likely to make up the mainstream to lend credence to Salokya's point that about the उदार-ness of Nepali society?
No.

By any measure, they make up the outliers, the people on the fringe, on the margins when it comes to preferring sexual habits, and that's perfectly that's fine as long as these people do what they do consensually behind closed doors.

Neither the Rajya nor the Fourth Estate has any business to pull back the curtains
and "trap" private citizens going about their own business in their own prvacy without apparently harming others.

And do they show us "नेपाली समाज यौनमा कति उदार बन्दै गइरहेको छ?"
No.
Not at all.

They just show -- assuming, of course, this whole thing is true-- just a slice of "yesto pani hooncha among SOME Nepalis". That's about it.

Sure, it's titilating (again, no bad pun intended!) for a short while, but that does not exactly make people rush out and start swapping spouses.

Personally, I am more ENTERTAINED by Salokya's breathless "yipeee, look what I have
found . . ." tone than by what goes on in that supposed spouse -swapping club.

To paraphrase that character from the movie The Other Sister, "Was it Madonna who invented sex?"

What's next, Salokya?
"Nepalis who have sex with animals and here are some screenshots of their Web page?" . . . as another faux-Kinsey installment of this नेपाली समाज यौनमा कति
उदार बन्दै गइरहेको छ भनी देखाउ" saga?

oohi
ashu

>Neither the Rajya nor the Fourth Estate has any business to
>pull back the curtains and "trap" private citizens going about
>their own business in their own prvacy without apparently harming others.

Highly objectionable statement.
Anyone who does that is described and stated in the law to be unlawful, no matter it is done consensually, behind the curtain, or in a private territory withoug harming others, is an outlaw. You know it, ashu.
It is too early for me to surmise you of being a spouse-swap-supporter, but, time is running out on your part to withdraw your thought-proviking, if not malicious statement.
Astu.

Salokya,

" नभए मसँग क्लबका संस्थापक, उनकी श्रीमतिको पूरा नामथर, क्लबका अन्य संस्थापकहरुको मोबाइल नम्बर, टेलिफोन नम्बर र इमेल ठेगानाहरु पनि नभएका हैनन् "

Isn't this kind of blackmailing attitude? As far as I know, no sane journalist would go around saying/writing (unless it is absolutely necessary) that he has his sources names, email addresses and telephone nos. You know them that's fine, but you don't have to go around advertising that you have their nos. and addresses.

पश्चिमी देशमा त यस्तो विवाद टुंगिएको छैन भने हामीकहाँ कसरी टुंगिन्छ?

Paschimi desh ma sarba sadharan janta ko privacy ko raxya garincha unless they become a threat to the society. I am yet to read a story with a headline "Mr X came home drunk" or Miss Y spends too much time on her computer or Sanders family went to Walmart to shop or Mr Z watches porn ....

People's privacy has to be respected. 3 years ago, a journalist claiming to be the custodian of Nepali morality published an actress's picture, and she had to commit suicide because of that. I think our journalists need to be more careful and instead of revealing or threatening to reveal (I have their phone nos and contact addresses) their (private citizens) identity and activities details, should look at themselves and see how moral they are and what RIGHTS do they have to "blackmail" people.

What happened to Shisha Karki? She was not even famous, hardly anyone knew her (unless you were a huge nepali film fan) and one of your people publishes her pictures to "presreve the morality of the society". What the F***...

Its a different thing if they were swapping spouses in Tundikhel with a loudspeaker on, but they are not doing it. They are not affecting your life, nor the society in any way. They are doing what they feel like doing. Its like you blogging. What next? Mr X and Ms Y found drinking coke in nanglo!- Look how liberal we are getting!

Just my view.

IF

PS: I like your blogs. Keep blogging!

RBaral and Salokya,

Thank you for your comments.

FYI, I am NOT into spouse-swapping myself. If others are into it, well, that's none of
my business. So let's get this out of the way.

But, hey, if Nepali ADULTS, wherever they reside on the planet, want to do so behind closed doors in a consensual manner (that is to say, without force, without harming others and in the privacy of their own space), then, I would consider what they do
to be really none of my -- or for that matter, Salokya's -- business.

My attitude is: 24 million Nepalis are likely to have as many sexual preferences, and, as long as adults do what they do consensually without harming others in their own privacy, well, that's their business -- NOT the business for the Rajya or for journalists
to pull apart the curtains and see what goes on inside.

The operating words here are: "adults", "consensual", "no-harm to others", and "in privacy".

Salokya's own blog admits as much. He says of these people: "उनीहरुले कुनै अपराध गरेका छैनन्। राजीखुसीमा दम्पतीहरुबीच यसो भइरहेको छ ।"

Salokya's LOFTY claim is that he respects these people's privacy. But his definition of "privacy" is a silly one.

Just because he has not posted the names of these people (he also says that he has all the contact info of these people), he thinks he is doing some great journalism. But that's a ridiculous claim. I mean, his actions have ALREADY denied these people a basic right to be left alone to mind their own business. In fact, Salokya himself writes that: "मेरो ब्लगमा यससम्बन्धी रिपोर्ट प्रकाशित भएपछि हाल उनीहरुको क्लबको होमपेज बन्द गरिएको छ ।"

The point is: You don't have to name names to deny other people a basic right to do as they please as adults in consensual relations that do not harm others, even when their sexual habits do NOT mirror the mainstream ones. The very fact that you talk about them and publish Web page-related info about them already VIOLATES their privacy rights.

If Salokya had said, "Look, I find these people interesting, let me talk about them", I would have fewer problems. That would have been an admission of straightforward curiosity, and I, as a reader, could have lived with that.

What was and is irritating is to see Salokya circuitously wrap himself up in this
mantle of:

a) "privacy rights" (sigh!) only to violate those rights (see evidence above) -- and
b) "journalistic code of ethics" only to dangle the fact that, hey, he has their contact numbers .. .

to justify, what I suspect, his own prurient interests.

That to me, is an example of bad and "emotional blackmail" type of journalism. done in the name of showing how उदार Nepali samaj is.

Then again, hey, even such an example of bad journalism has a right to exist on the
Net.

oohi
ashu

>>>

The point is: You don't have to name names to deny other people a basic right to do as they please as adults in consensual relations that do not harm others, even when their sexual habits do NOT mirror the mainstream ones. The very fact that you talk about them and publish Web page-related info about them already VIOLATES their privacy rights. "

*****
ADDITION: If these people were, say, actor Rajesh Hamal or actress Jhanara Bajracharya or other Nepalis of certain PUBLIC stature, one could perhaps justify the related blog entries in the name of, well, "paparazzi journalism" -- making the argument that the public has a right to know what certain public figures are up to.

But these people appear to be utterly private citizens. That is why, their sex lives -- no matter how intriguing or how uncommon -- need not be fodder for blogosphere in the ironic name of "privacy rights" and "journalistic code of ethics".

oohi
ashu

I am totally against the concept of swapping wife.Personally, I would say this is no good in moral, ethical and social terms. But then that is their life and they have the freedom of living their life on their own.

In the west, wife or girl friend swapping is not a big deal. There are reality television shows about wife swapping although the audience does not know if there had been sexual relations between the swapped couples.

Regarding breaking the news, this is indeed a news and journalism does not disallow the reporting of this kind of happenings. Specially such practises that are not familiar with the society. However, while reporting on such issues, journalists are supposed to present them in a decent manner, without creating sensation and defaming the concerned people.

In case of Salokya, if he had published the chat in his blog without taking the permission of the buddy(the wife swapper), that is a gross mistake and a serious violation of journalistic ethics. If he had done the same thing in US or Europe, the buddy could take Libel actions against him and Salokya would have ended up paying hundreds of thousands of compensation. For any private matters published without the permission of the concerned people, journalists and publishers are help responsible if the judge rule it as defamatory. And every year, media houses pay thousands(sometimes millions) of dollors of compensation on Libel lawsuits. Thankfully for Salokya and Nepali journalists, there are no such laws in Nepal.

To the effect that the privacy of the foregoing is compromised, however trivially, particular blog event could be termed a privacy lapse, if not a regression.

Antaranga sambandha with other than one's sriman/srimati is unlawful in most civil societies, religion, and law. Our nepalko muluki ain is no exception on this matter. For this matter, anyone engaged in such activities, under the aegis of ?consensual activity in my closet with no apparent harm to others? definitely violates the legal norm and is punishable by law.
Therefore, outpouring sympathies in different colors, in the name of ?privacy? is my concern.

This reminds me of festish club in hong kong which still does exists. 2 yrs ago this club was sued by ppl for spreading fetish message and wife swaping or group sex. The case was in court for year and at the end lot of ppl say it is ok.........since then u can see this club runs with private dungon and sex room as well. They have clientel more than 10,000 and they organise wife swaping too.
I use to have a french boss who use to have sex with other gal infront of other women. Infact his wife bf use to give him massage and have sex infront............i have seen these activites while i was working for him...........it is quite common.......involvement of cocaine and weed. They seems to be happy and they like it.............................

dude, it anyone is doing it and they like it with the each other commintment then it is fine...........i dont have problem for it and there is no anti-law against it.

I still remember one couple who didnot have kids so husband talk with wife of having sex with his fren so they can have baby..................it didnot go well in first later all were conviced and now they have kids which is actually from her husband fren............i met that guy personally so...............

even during the rana rule or even in shah thakuri there is mention of homosexuality, wife swaping and group sex which use to be conducted inside place.........it never came out coz they were powerful...........what about gagan singh affair with the queen of king rajendra or surendra........what about late birendra affair with newar gal and also have kids...............dude, it has been there and wife swaping is been there since the kime of ramayan and mahabharata........what is ethics?

so stop poking nose in someone business///////////////////////to salokya my only advice is ppl who talk like this is either preak, fake or their wife tend to run away with some other guy

like wife of DR. devkota who ran away with her driver....................dude, remeber whatever ppl say sex is the most important aspect of relationship
i dont say wife swaping is bad but if it is too much it is dangerous................

Salokya,

I saw that you have posted my and Rishi's comments (FIRST posted here on Sajha.com) on your blog.

That's fine.

But could you please show at least a basic sense of decency to CREDIT Sajha.com as the source of those comments?

Here's the URL for you to copy and paste on your own blog.

http://www.sajha.com/sajha/html/openThread.cfm?forum=2&ThreadID=21935#141796

Thanks.

oohi
"oh, just another late evening at work"
ashu
*******

RBaral,

Four points:

(1) What some private citizens do or do not do with other consenting adults (male or female) in their own privacy in a non-commercial manner without provably harming others is something BEST LEFT to those adults and to those adults alone -- and it's
NOT for the State or for journalists to poke their nose into.

(2) Sure, some people might be offended/intrigued by some of these 'rather unconventional' sexual practices, just as some people might be offended by, say, homosexuality or 'transsexualism' and so on and so forth -- but just because the majority is offended in some way is NOT the reason to start persecuting those
engaging in any way in (1) above.

(3) The greatest right in any democracy for a private citizen is: As long as laws are not provably broken, as Salokya says as much, then that private citizen should enjoy the RIGHT TO BE LEFT ALONE.

(4) On a conceptual level, it is the violation of that right, that right to be left alone, through sneaky violations of privacy rights and limiting of sexual freedoms in the name of new-fangled journalism -- that concerns me the most, and NOT because I harbour any sympathy or empathy for alleged spouse-swappers.

oohi
ashu

people have right to know the personal information of those people

''[05:19am] salokya: I won?t publish ur name?if u like?..I will address u as founder of that group
[05:20am] salokya: sorry folk, but this is our job माफी त माग्नु नै थियो
[05:20am] salokya: dont mind it ok ?
[05:20am] Manager: I know उनी समझदार रहेछन्
[05:21am] salokya: currently I plan to do series of report on Nepalese openness towards sex
[05:22am] Manager: Can you show me your report before you publish it?
[05:23am] salokya: You can see report on http://merosansar.blogsome.com''


Salokyaji यसलाई अनुमति भनिदैन।
He has not said 'yes' on your proposal anywhere during the chat.
अनि ''You can see report on http://merosansar.blogsome.com '' means you are publishing it on the web before showing the details to him. You are recommending him to view your site after it is already published. That is not 'consent before publication' in anyway.
Nevertheless, I don't want to argue with you. But by journalism's standards, although your report doesn't fall in a restricted catagory in terms of news value, it has many serious flaws in terms of violation of privacy. Good luck to your scoop journalism though.

*And you have not asked him for publishing the chat text itself as well. That makes your case more illegal.

Isolated Freak,
तपाइँले भन्नुभयो instead of revealing or threatening to reveal (I have their phone nos and contact addresses) their (private citizens) identity and activities details, should look at themselves and see how moral they are and what RIGHTS do they have to "blackmail" people.
म छक्क छु मैले कसलाई ब्ल्याकमेल गर्न खोजेको छु वा गर्ने कोशिश वा धम्की दिएको छ ।
" नभए मसँग क्लबका संस्थापक, उनकी श्रीमतिको पूरा नामथर, क्लबका अन्य संस्थापकहरुको मोबाइल नम्बर, टेलिफोन नम्बर र इमेल ठेगानाहरु पनि नभएका हैनन् " भनेर मैल कसैलाई चेतावनी दिएको हैन, न धम्की नै दिएको हुँ । म त उनीहरुको गोप्यताको सम्मान गर्छु। नभए मैले यो पनि सार्वजनिक गरिदिन्थेँ पो भनेको हुँ । तपाईँहरुलाई थाहा नै छ त्यसो गरेको भए पनि मलाई कुनै कानुन लाग्ने थिएन ।
तपाईँलाई थाहा छँदैछ ब्लग पत्रकारिता नेपालमा नयाँ हो । नेपाली भाषामा मैले नै पहिलो पटक ब्लग गरेको हुँ । त्यसैले सिक्न धेरै बाँकी छ । तपाइँहरुका सल्लाह सुझावले सिक्दै जानेछु ।
मैले बुझे अनुसार ब्लग अरु पत्रकारिताभन्दा फरक हुन्छ । यसमा मान्छेका अति नै गोप्य कुरा पनि सार्वजनिक गरिन्छ । पेरिस हिल्टनको केसलाई लिनु्स् । कसरी एक ब्लगरले उनको मोबाइलमा रहेका जानकारीलाई अनि गोप्य निजी भिडियोलाई सार्वजनिक गरेका थिए । नेपालमा भर्खर त ब्लगको विकास हुँदैछ । त्यसैले मैले उनीहरुको कदम पछ्याउन खोजेको छैन ।
के कस्ता कुराहरु ब्लग गर्न हुन्छ कस्ता हुँदैन नेपालमा कसैलाई थाहा छैन । त्यसैले म भर्खर त सिक्दैछु । सुझाव दिँदै जानुस् आलोचना गर्नुस् अनि पो सिकिन्छ त ।

I have to agree with those who think this is a despicable and sleazy act on the part of the journalist. I would never swap my wife (when I have one) but I came out sympathizing with "Manager" after reading this posting and the associated blog.

Frankly, after reading his work , the author comes across to me as a foxy, slimy and despicable person. I agree the wife-swapping "Manager" is not a bastion of integrity either, but it is disturbing to see someone manipulate another person and win his trust only to betray him.

Salokya, I am sure your are capable of great things, your blog being one of them, but framing soemone like this just makes you look like a creepy jerk in the eyes of others.

Sorry - I had to vent.

newuser jee,
You said that And you have not asked him for publishing the chat text itself as well. That makes your case more illegal.
read the chat log carefully
" नभए मसँग क्लबका संस्थापक, उनकी श्रीमतिको पूरा नामथर, क्लबका अन्य संस्थापकहरुको मोबाइल नम्बर, टेलिफोन नम्बर र इमेल ठेगानाहरु पनि नभएका हैनन् "
[05:10am] salokya: I?m a journalist and am interviewing you
[05:10am] salokya: I will keep this chat log as interview
[05:11am] salokya: in my blog also
05:11am] salokya: I will publish this in my blog for a moment
[05:12am] salokya: and later I may publish this in any paper as freelance writer
[05:13am] Manager: I can?t comment on your rights but I feel that?s going far.
[05:14am] salokya: what do u think ? should I do this ?
[05:14am] Manager: If you are journalist, I know you won;t listen to anybody.
he does not told me hey dont publish this
And for your information this is not illegal here in Nepal. MIND IT the case is in Nepal not US

Salokya,

Regarding the following:
I saw that you have posted my and Rishi's comments (FIRST posted here on Sajha.com) on your blog. That's fine.
But could you please show at least a basic sense of decency to CREDIT Sajha.com as the source of those comments?
हो मैले मेरै ब्लगमा यससम्बन्धी अन्तर्क्रिया होस् भने र कमेन्ट पोस्ट गरेको हुँ । तर तपाईँ त डराउनु हुँदो रहेछ नेपालमा पढिने ब्लगमा कमेन्ट गर्न । CREDIT Sajha.com लाई नदिएको पनि हो । मैले सुरु गरेको थ्रेडमा भएका कमेन्ट मैले प्रयोग गर्नु गल्ती हो ? यो त सबैको साझा हो, हैन र । साझा डट कमलाई क्रेडिट दिनुपर्ने कुरा तपाईँले हैन Admin ले बताउने कुरा हो ।


Sajha is community of responsible members and the members have every right to bring up issues like this. When you copy paste the threads from sajha into your blog - making it look like the interaction is happening on your blog site, it only gives a false impression to the visitors of your blog site. It would be common courtesy to inform people about where you are copying and pasting the information from.

In defense of Salokya, I think his reporting of spouse-swapping group in Ktm is a relevant issue to bring forth to Nepali society. Although it may not be worthwhile news in the West, but for a conservative society like ours, this is relatively shocking. It was to me at least.

Let's take an analogy. Recently in one of Nepali magazines, there was an article on Nepali femail pilots. How many western female pilots make it to hte news in thye U.S. or Europe? But female pilots are a novelty in Nepal and their achievement is worthy of being printed in Nepal.

As far as privacy is concerned, anytime people do something different ( being very broad here), they should be ready to face the public opinion, if not then we should have no business wondering whether Brad Pitt slept with Angelina Jolie or not.

I think Salokya's line about having the "manager and others name and phone number" although sound threatening, was a matter of bad language than his intent to blackmail.

ciao,
K'dude

k'dude

The way it seems to me, Salokya's blog-site is piggybacking on Sajha's popular usage. If it is an issue that he raised, then should it not be raised in his blog and discussed therein? What is the point of copying and pasting discussions from Sajha to his blog? To me it looks deceptive and unethical. Maybe Salokya should concentrate on his own blog and waste his valuable (or not) time here. My two cents.