I have been working in an international company here in the US since a year. I am a senior scientist and expert in the field and work in the similar capacity. I have this south Indian co-worker, who acts very rude to me. I am in general easy going, simple person that works hard and in volume. This guy is junior to me and has been working since past almost three years.

This guy talks well with others but ignores me and I have a feeling he does have some passive aggression towards me. He sucks up to the khaires and especially seniors. I have a khaireni colleague whom I know from my grad school (we were in the same research group). She is junior to me and works with the same designation as this Indian guy. He kisses her ass and acts as the nicest guy in the world but when it comes to me he acts like he is some kind of big-shot. He never admits he does not know something. He "knows" everything.

Every time I see him, it makes me feel cringy. I have a feeling he backstabs behind me and bitches about me with other junior staffs too. Because of his attitude, my work-life balance has been little affected. I feel like not wanting to go to work as it gives me too much negativity. My boss and other seniors like me. They have implemented changes I initiated. He is also liked. I have some feeling that he is insecure with me. I don't know, I might be wrong.

Do you guys have any Indian co-worker that acts that way? I've read a lot about such attitude (Kiss up, kick down) in Indian at workplaces. Please share yours and suggest me what I should do. I really am starting to hate this guy.

I tell you honestly, attitude of Nepalese are woest than Indians. This is real. Nepalese are aggrasive and jhagdalu. This is fact. Nepalese steal money than Indians from stores. Nepalese tend to drink and fight. Believe it or not, this is what I have experienced in USA.
Dude, your situation may be exceptional.

@ghorle: seen that, even been there before. Two choices - 1. try talking to him, try being friendly, ask if he has any problems with you, 2. ignore him, deal with him only if/when you have to. jealous and arrogant lowlifes like him are not worth your time. and this is what I do most of the time, unless it's someone I care about want , in which case i go no. 1

try to treat him with a lunch ! desi people talk in favor when they get their bellies filled.

U can complaint to HR. Since gc takes long for Indians , u can mess him up. If u have gc u can change company , no need to stay with assholes .

Just ignore him. You are an expert and senior. You should not be intimidated by his behavior. Make other friends at work. Honestly, that is just Indian, ass kissing by nature(fact). If they get change they will sell you and talk negative of you to get ahead of you. It runs in their blood (100%). I have seen they will even take credit for your work. Be careful though, do not say things directly at him as he may just want that to use against you.
Indians are smart they wont hesitate to take advantage of others situation. Pays less in cash at work to cheat the government and make you do all the work. They sell stale food.This is common everywhere.

I also used to have similar problem with a female indian coworker. Now she is gone, I was like this is great. She would be nice to everyone else but me. She would only be nice to me if she needs to ask me something. I don't know if she was jealous because other girls were nice to me or she thinks she was too good looking and I need to praise her.

My experience with my Indian colleagues working in a international Org.

1. 90% of Indians are ass lickers, They bend over to Khairas and challenge to Nepalis.
2. Most of the Indians think Nepali as "Bahadurs" only, When they find they have to work under Nepalis, they find it very difficult.
3. Almost all Indians invite kahaires for dinner at their home, and believe me, Khaires love free food and drink
4. If your boss is intelligent he will understand this and and you dont have to worry, if he is not then prepare yourself. My boss was intelligent, he used to say that dude is "brown nose" to Indian guy.
5,I very rarely invited Khaires for dinner (only to very close friends)
6. There always ppl who love brown nosing, including khaires, you have to know who is who in your office.
7. Very few Indians are good, I had chance to work with few smart Indians.


Now solutions, some of these may be useful to you
1. In work place always be polite and talk with smiling face, always smile when you say good morning etc.
2. Be sincere to your work, give 100% effort, if there is a problem regarding work always talk with your boss with probable solutions.
3. Never afraid of that Indian dude, when you are talking with him, talk friendly but don't give him inner clues (Indians will exploit it)
4.if you see his weakness note it down. It might help you one day, but don't use that often.
5. While talking with others don't talk bad about him. But if his "bad thing" is known to every one even then say, "I thought he was a smart guy, I am surprise by his action/comment/behavior etc" which ever is applicable.
6. Most of your fear is psychological, to my surprised many Nepalis think that Indians are superior to them, it is not true.
7. why Nepalis think Indian are superior to them,
a) we watch bollywood film and think how great bollywood movies are, this is not true, 99% of bollywood movies are bull crap, not worth watching.
b) We listen to bollywood music/Punjabi music and dance in their music, 99% Bollywood musics are stolen and modified, stop dancing in bollywood music,they are all bull crap
c) most of us think that Indians are very intelligent, they are smart, that is not true, if you compare percentage wise Nepalis are in far better position than Indian. per capita wise for every Nepalis working in your office there must be 30 Indians working. I bet it is not the situation in your office.
.8. You are superior to that Indian, accept it, Your fear will go away.
9. If you are intelligent enough, you don't have to worry about.

I know how it feels. But be nice for now and wait for the right time to show his place. You mentioned you worked hard and you know what you are doing. So wait. If 99 percent knows you are good and have good work ethics, then 1 percent dont matter. If anything comes up or not happy, give your immediate lead a small heads up how you are feeling in general so that he/she is aware of the situation and start noticing the indian guys attitude towards you. Just try to be nice to indian guy as well from your side. Karma is a bit**, it will hit him back. So have patience, and do what you are doing at your best.

First of all, I think you are more insecure than he is. And second, don't try to be nice. Dont listen to the loser comment to be nice and blah blah blah...Respect who deserve and treat like a piece of shit who disrespect you. period.

Had similar issue with Nepali. I don't think that dhoti is different just because of nationality.

TLDR, Every situation is different, but if possible, just ignore that guy and do not interact as far as possible. However, do note his weak points, issues potentially relevant for disciplinary action, poor communication, poor performance etc. You may need those details in a situation when HR needs to be called.

A childhood friend of mine moved to a city I was living in the past. I introduced her to a didi who happened to be working in a different department in the same office at same level my friend was hired. Due to similar duties, they were supposed to communicate regularly. However, the 'didi' started pinging my friend's manager asking the manager for certain reports which obviously my friend generates. The manager reminded 'didi' multiple times to send requests directly to my friend, but it has been over a year and they could not get along. My friend later said that although didi was friendly at first, didi rarely talks in Nepali even during lunch or free time. I felt sorry because I was not aware about 'didi's that avatar. Probably it is more a girl stuff, but my friend thinks it is because didi is from a very elite and rich family in Kathmandu, with over 10 yrs experience while I and my friend are from Chitwan and much younger.

I think it felt bad because didi was Nepali, and in your case that guy is a dhoti. If it was a random khaire, you would not care that much. Getting along with everyone at work is not only difficult but also a waste of time.

ब्रो le ni हसौचा, धोति संग नि के को बाल, सीधै भन्दे भै हाल्यो नि ,

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences/ inputs. I really appreciate!

I should start doing tit-for-tat. I from today start to completely ignore him. I did quite a bit of introspection to assess if I had any problem. I did not see any apparent one. He uses two completely different tones to talk to juniors and seniors and resorts to mute mode with me :). We work on different projects but in the same department. Recently, my job responsibilities changed and I work more independently and mentor others. He also mentors others. Both of us are two of the best workers there. I do not have any issue with him and do not have any insecurity/ inferiority issue. I do not take Indians to be superior or inferior to a Nepali or any other race/ nationality for that matter. It is just a strange feeling seeing him behave that way. I had many good Indian friends in school and did not have any problem. May be he is little afraid of the fact that I am getting a little share of spotlight he once fully had. I mostly do not work to be in the spotlight. He is taking me for a competitor, which I am not.

Thanks to you folks one more time.

Based on my experience, Indians are naturally more competitive then most neplease. Luckily I haven’t have to work with other Nepali yet, but most time I find Indians more competitive then Nepalese. They intend to achieve what they want by hook or cook. Looks like he sees you as his direct competitor for any future potential growth.

There is no preskription here and reaching out to HR, unless he does something really wacky, would just look bad on you.

You have to treat him as competition, if you want neck to neck competition with him. If you want to let him move ahead and stay laid back then its fairly easy to slow down a bit , let him take a lead and follow him. I am sure he will start treating you well as soon as he realize you are not in same league as he.

Be smart and make Nepalese proud. I kick their ass lots of time. I just ignored them. I mentored and helped Alots of Indian. They are smart but not really great. I got Nepalese are more smart if they got better opportunities. Nepalese don’t bow their head to anybody. I’m the boss against my boss. Be intelligent and don’t make you suppressed. Sale your intelligent. Don’t care anything.

हैन हो साथी ती निम्न चरित्रका मीत्र कुन मात्री भाषा बोल्दा रैछन?

You will be finding negativity every step of your career. If his negative character is influencing your work life balance then he is successful in doing that and he has successfully influenced you to become like him. Whenever I see such kind of behaviour and people I keep reminding myself that I surely don't want to be that person and treat him nicely and not as he treats me. If you keep treating him nicely, no matter how many times he shows rudeness he will be compelled to bow down ultimately. In summary, Don't let other to change your true character. Just be who you are and let fate decide because it never goes wrong.

Guys, if you ever want to piss off or aggravate an Indian, send him or her an anonymous text or email with the following:

"Indians smell like chicken achari roganjosh paan masala tandoori tikka pig rectum boti kabab makhni curry with a hint of goat fart and incense made of cow dung."

Trust me, this will really push their buttons. Lolzz

I had similar experience, one a$$hole was super friendly and kissing every khairey's a$$ but would act very different towards me as if he didn't wanted to talk. I ignored him few months after that one nepali guy joined my team. I never talked to him first after that, if I needed info then only I would talk to him. Also, work wise he would bot get me any documents, so I would request couple time by emailing him personally and wait few days in between. If he didn't answer then I would email again saying that because of your no response blah blah is gettting delayed and cc his manager. I was really happy when he left the company.

नेपाल भए नि अमेरिका भए नि इन्डियन को आड नलागी उपाय छैन है साथी हो साला धोति भन्यो गाली गर्यो. यति ठुलो दुनिया छ चित्त बुज्दैन भने आफुलाई फिट हुने टिम मा काम गरे भैगो नि कुरा ठुला खुट्टा लुला .... मेरो व्यक्तिगत विचार ...