They ask me gazillions of times, why do I love him so much. I don’t have an answer. How do I explain Love when I, myself am exploring it every day. What I think of it yesterday doesn’t work today and what I am thinking for tomorrow right now,will surely not work.

I can’t say I love him because he has ravishing good looks because honestly girls won’t even turn their head when he passes by. He is just another guy, an average Joe. But Joe is extremely intelligent and smart. I love the fact that he beats me with his knowledge. His deep knowledge of subjects has always extended the hours of our conversations.

The question still lingers, why do I love him so much? Yea I ask that to myself too many a times, why him and no one else. I still have a clear picture of our first date coz he made me wait for an hour. And how stupid of me to wait, just to tell him that I am leaving coz he made me wait. Ever since, I developed the habit to wait for him.

He is the only person I wait for hours.  He is the only person I endure healthy bullying from. If it was someone else, I probably would have bashed the shit out of that person but not him. I feel he doesn’t mean any harm. When he brushes his arms against mine when we are in a group, I feel safe. I feel he is around for me. He takes care of me. He let me cry in his arms when I am hurt. I ever blow my nose on his tee shirt and he doesn’t say a word. He fixes me eyeliner when it is smudged. He says I look beautiful when I know I look like an emotional wreck.

No I never cried to blackmail him. I don’t cry until it hurts a lot. Until it pinches the core of my heart. And he knows it very well. I love him because, I have never felt good loving anyone so much. I feel good when I see that smile on his face, the happy face. When I suggest him and it works for him, the smell of success, oh how much I enjoy it. The clinching of togetherness when things go wrong. The superiority feeling when I know I am his strength of life.

We have shared ice cream to business ideas. We have cried over a movie to a death in a family. We have failed and again held each other together at difficult times. Isn’t it all what love is all about? Do we need to buy expensive gifts to show love? Do we need to kiss every time to show our care? Is it enough to have each other to live and survive? Will he let go of my hands ever?

After exactly five years, nine month and nineteen days since we met, I am getting married. I loved him all this while and at the end he couldn’t hold my hand. I am getting married to someone I don’t know. I haven’t felt the brushing of his arms, I don’t know how he will treat me in bed, I don’t know if he will let me blow my nose on his tee shirt but all I know is at the end I have loved someone dearly. Wholeheartedly. It just didn’t end the way I wished it to end. Now I must look at the new beginning. Will I be a good lover again????

 

"After exactly five years, nine month and nineteen days since we met, I am getting married." I was soo freaking happy to see that but only lead to a disappointment to read the next.. 

Oh dear.... Feel bad for u !!!! Dont worry u will find love for the guy u just found !!!

I have a mixed feelings.
This explains why girls are more prone to change relation than the guy. I do not know the complete story but the guy in ans a$$$hole. He should not let u go. I feel for you too. But if you need comfort we the silent sajha user are there for you.
As we enjoy your writings and will enjoy in the future, we are there for you. Just think of this new change as the new chapter in life.
But you know what life goes on. One day we all will be old.
Other aspect of life is memories remain. You will always remember those moments and will bring the silent smile on your face.
Cheers and try to give all those same love to this new guy.

Mercy,
Thank you so much for your comments.

Oh god i really want to say this is work of fiction and it has nothing to do with my life.....lol.....
Gonecrazy......thank you for your kind words but ...... this is a fringe of my imagination ......i hope nobody has to go thru this that you love one guy and marry another one.

@Ambi. Thanks for letting me know. Ma lai ta chana bhata haam fale jesto bhako thiyo because I was your silent admiral and silent lover. Aba aajai chance cha bhanne kura sunda maan nai prafulla bhako cha. Aaja mitho nidra lagne bhayo jesto cha. Bhagwan lai prathna garchu Ambi nai auunu mero sapana ma :)

Chya chya...... lol......aaba maile k bhanne yesto kura ma.....so thank you so much to be such a darling to appreciate my work!!! I ll try not to disappoint you!

Loved it... loved the twist you have put in the story(thank god its story)in the end...

Nice one Amby, Loved it. As always short, sweet and precise. Like Thane said, I loved the twist in the end. Hindi ma bhanchan ni (येह साला प्यार चिज हि एसी हे कि हर किसिको पागल बना देता हे ) Keep on writing :)..

Thaha chaena jee.....katha ma twist bhayena mazzai aayena ni.....but what if this is a true story??

Karnali bluez,
Pyar humey kis mode pe le aaya???? Lol

Amby,

I have seen stories like this upclose.

Ekdam milne sathi ko yastai bhayeko thiyo... ajhai ektarf euta tadpi rahekai cha bhane arko tarf arki afnai sansar ma jiwan sangai bageko bagai cha .... I feel so so sorry .... but there is nothing I could do...

So real that you wanna believe its should be just fiction hoina ta......this is the worse that can happen to anyone.....but it happens.....k garne hai

What about that moment you fall in love with yourself? The time after you have scuffed your knees on every person who brought you down, on every self-deprecating thought, on every mistake you think you made, and you realize that you do not care if you are bruised and bloodied. That moment you realize that, even if you never meet The One, whom we all view as this ultimate, Holy Grail of winning at life, you can grow up to be some awesome old person who travels the world with nothing but a backpack, or maybe who lives on a farm with a bunch of horses and is wild, or maybe someone who keeps dozens of lovers because they all attempt to match that level of self-love you so boldly show to them? I think, learning that love of self is one of the most important lessons of all.

साह्रै नै राम्रो| धन्यबाद| लेख्दै गर्नुहोला|

Datktmguy,
I agree loving youself is s very important thing in life....once you realise that probably you will be in a different level. But again most of the time we happen to fall in love and that person starts becoming your first priority.specially in a woman's case the whoke world starts revolving around him. Love makes you a fool and knowingly you become one.

Yotabhayenanisom jee,
Khusi lagyo tapai lai mann paryo bhanera....dhanyabaad

एम्ब्रोसिया जी, हजुरको त म न. १ फ्यान हो नि| हजुरको अरु पनि रचना हरु पढ्न पाम है प्लीच|

Lau lau yo chahi kahile dekhin bho??
Aru rachana srijana sabai sajha ko archive mai cha hajur...:)