As per request by NepaleseSummerFest:
Here's some monologues that I have already posted and some new ones:
Seriously looking for standup comedian? You better look for standup on chair comedian. You know why…haami Nepali..kattu uchaali….
It’s funny how we learnt Hindi. I used to work at Haveli restaurant and part time at another gas station. Owner at gas station asked me, " business kaisa hai @ Haveli,". I told him ," kaile kahi ekdum busy hota hai kaile kai makha bhi naii aata hai".
Saala jhyappa jhyappa brake marta hai raste mein?
Wonder how you distinguish Nepali in America? If you can’t decide whether he is Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Filipino, or from Laos? Then he should be from Nepal. If that doesn’t work, just go straight up and touch his Adam’s apple. If he tries to blow air on your hand, you got him!! He is Gorkhali.
One fresh off the boat Nepali ask me " Tapai Nepali ho?". I stared him down and said, "hoina" and walked away. That’s just me being an ass.
I started my community college doing LP volunteer job. Wonder what LP is? I used to do "lyaune puraune " new nepali chicks from Indian grocery store to the college and back to their apartment with the hope of getting laid. Bad Idea!! Should have charged them for the service!
I drove around Sonics looking for drive thru. Couldn’t find it.
I wonder why I don’t see any rear end or jugs in my wife. I don’t know. Blame on Priya Rai.
I came here virgin & I was stupid coz I paid her to lose my virginity. It should have been other way around.
As I work with my Indian boss lady, and amazed how the hell she got that rear end. She told me, “ Beta, yeh sab tumhare ghante ka kamal hai.” I don’t know what she was talking about. ;)
The worst thing happened to me in America, chased by a stripper coz I was 2 dollar short for a lap dance.
Wonder why they call it F1 status, coz you are the f**ked one. How about F2- F**ked twice coz you are being f**ked by F1 who is already f**ked by USCIS.
I am tired of swapping up our parents visit in US. I can’t stand her parents she can’t stand my parents. That is why we finally decided to hire a babysitter.
Feel sorry for those parents who came to visit their kids in US. They end up visiting more the guy that worked in nearby gas stations.
When my father came to US the first thing he googled in my computer was “ sex”. Next thing I know my computer couldn’t handle the massive porn sites and it quit working.
Wonder how you save your computer, next time tell your dad not to watch tube8.com nor tell him that there isn’t any dirty DVD underneath the couch.
Feedbacks are welcome.
Thanks,
Mangale.
