The kid in you is almost dead. You fight with sanity to retain childhood, but with little or no avail. Time; the

ruthless parent of all things existant. Time; the healer, the killer, the creator.
What happened? To all those dreams, those ambitions, those special wishes, those day dreams, those undulating waves

of thought that fascinated you for half your lifetime. Didn't even take half a year to forget it huh?
It suprizes me, you say it suprizes you? Never Ending Peace And Love. Really? Now more like 'Never Ending Pakhes

And Latas'. Misguided patriotism has destroyed you, your country, your people, your gods, your sanity and your

self-respect. Offcourse, me being a strong atheist would never have anything to mourn about the loss of a quarter

billion gods plaguing the minds of my beloved brothers and sisters.
But the hate...

... and the lack of trust, lack of respect, lack of morals, and a lack of commonsense has made us into a bunch of

grass chomping sheep. In search of greener pastures you graze in foreign lands, fed by foreign hands, and yet you

have the audacity to classify yourself as a patriot?

Look at all the anger around you. Look at the confusion. You have been displaced. From a culture you could relate

to, to one of infinitesimal relevance to your very existance.

But, my friends, my brothers, my sisters. Is it not time for change yet? I don't mean change in our homeland, or

change in our culture, or any other change that relates to Nepal. Let Her be as She is right now. She has seen

better days, and so have we. But is She not a projection of our unified visions? Each and every one of us?
The blood that burns inside these very veins have close relation to those that broil inside yours. The only

difference is in these winds that blow on the outside. And in the shadow of some foreign mountains do we hide and

offer our blood and sweat to unknown gods.
Once we were proud, now we just are. Barely alive, barely breathing, not an ounce of meat, not a pound of money,

but the egos still live strong.
We face the world today, on the brink of change. On the extreme brink of extinction. Oh how I wish I could shape

these words to something of a warmer expression for the future of mankind. But it escapes me as I am overwhelmed by

the extremities of hate and anger flowing around me.
I too feel like punching someone, point a blaming finger on some lousy bastard and say " OYE! You are the one who

fwcked us up!" "You shall be punished justly". And to what end? And by what means? And what the results?

If I could kill THE lousy bastard who could rightfully be blamed for all this turmoil and anarchy that I see today,

knowing that his death would set things right, then by all means, I would hunt the sly bastard down and hack him

down with my khukuri and say "Lousy Bastard. Now you are dead. Now the world will be as it was. Now we can continue

where we left off". But sadly, you know that is beyond resonable expectation that a death of a tyrant will ever

rewind history.

"So!" you ask me, "All is lost? The world has seen the best of its years and is going to decline now?".

That is a question, only the merciless gladiator called time can answer.

But I am not here to depress, anger, insult, blame, bitchslap, or question anyone. I myself donot know why I am

here. I hope to find myself in these lines, and hopefully, help anyone else who is as lost as I am in this

turbulent, crazy life.
So endure with me, my compassionate readers, as I tell you my stories, and sing you songs; and indulge me in my

interests, which I feel may, or may not, interest yourself.

You might not agree with me on my pessimistic views of the current world. Everyone is entitled to their own

opinion, with all sincerity.

1990: An eventful year for us no? One of the last countries to achieve "democracy". Along with Germany. 1990: The

Berlin wall was torn down. A country demolished by two world wars; buildings in piles of rubbles, people in a state

of halplessness, devoid of any hope, stuck in a neverending tunnel; or so they thought.
And us? Damn. We were pioneering forward, into grounds never explored, so much potential, so much enthusiams, so

many lives sacrificed for the cause. And the 'cause': unfulfilled.

Almost 20 years have passed, and we're still in the same shithole that we were 2 decades ago! Actually, deeper in

crap than we were two decades ago. So much for misguided patriotism. So much for those poor martys that died for

nothing.

We fought for democracy, and then abandoned ship, so now a bunch of us are stranded on some strange island watching

our ship, and its lunatic crew, go down to be a prize collection of the Davy Jones locker.

But that doesn't bother me. The whole damn world is sinking. Literally, if Al Gore is right about global warming.

Wars going on, people playing the blame game, fighting, hatred. The list could go on.
How far do you think we're gonna go? Already a handful of people have started to think humanity's days are

numbered. And I doubt we're gonna be saved by a bunch of Cola drinking ExtraTerrestials from Mars. Even if they

come what are we going to say to them?

"Uh! Man, I mean Marsian! We had the most beautiful rivers, lakes oceans, the most majestic mountains, hills,

ranges, the most abundant minerals, gold, oil, the most diverse animals, plants, organisms, and offcourse, the most

intelligent beings ever to walk and control all of this. But, er... we fwcked up. So please save us!"

Oil! WTF! Now we all know how that is formed right? No? It takes millions of years to form oil. what you put in

your car, has been refined at an oil refinery. What went inside that oil refinery has been extracted from oil

pools, in between solid rocks in the earth. How the hell they got there? well,  they were closer to the surface a

couple of million years ago, and then continuous layers of sand deposited on top, layer over layer, mind you,

definitely NOT overnight, and due to intense pressure and temperatures, transformed into the stuff known as liquid

gold. What were these things before they got covered in layers of humongous sand dunes? Why they were living

things, like you or me.

And without thought/realization we consume this sacred resource all the while complaining about gas prices?

We are the doomed plague of nature. We are definitely no intelligent being, as a whole. Sure there were Einstiens

and Nietsczhes and Bhanubhaktas and Gandhis, but they were all individuals. People as a group are just a bunch of

grass chomping brainless mammals. We fwck all the time, hence creating more selfish grass chomping bastards.

But not you, gentle reader, no. You have endured my scatching commentary about the abysmall stupidity of the human

race for this entire duration, it has me thinking, maybe things are not as bad as I think they are. Maybe hope

glints at me through unseen eyes. Maybe those Marsians are going to come after all.

But before I dive head first into my next chapter, I will take a break to reflect at what I've written and to read

what YOU, my voracious open-minded unconventional readers, have to say about this untimely blasphemy of your

precious limbo of oblivion.

Till the morrow. Adios.