धोवीको गधा

एक धोवीले आˆनो छिमेकीलाई आˆनो दुस्ख पोखदै भनेछ- यार मेरो गधाले हरियो घास खाने आदत भएर सुकेको धास त खादैखादैन् । के गर्ने होला रु


छिमेकीले हत्त न पत्त भनेछ- धेरै सजिलो छ । मेरो भैसीले पनि सुकेको धास खादैनथ्यो मैले त हरियो चश्मा लगाइदिएको गमागम खान थाल्यो ।


दोस्रो दिन धोबीको हातखुट्टामा प्लाष्टर गरेको गरेको देखेर छिमेकीले धोबीलाई सोधेछ- के भयो र धोबीले भनेछ- के गर्ने यार गधालाई हरियो चश्मा लगाइदिदै थिए । गधाले दुई लात्ती हान्यो र भन्यो - मलाई भैसी सम्भिस् की क्या हो ।

शिक्षकः FORD (फोर्ड) माने के हुन्छ ?
बिद्यार्थीः गाडी .....।
शिक्षकः गुड । अनि OX अक्स, अक्स माने ?
बिद्यार्थीः गोरु ।
शिक्षकः गुड । यसरी नै तिमीहरु राम्रो अंग्रेजी पढ्दै गयौ भने अक्सफोर्डमा पढ्न सक्छौ । अक्सफोर्ड भनेको थाहा छ ?
बिद्यार्थीः अक्सफोर्ड भनेको गोरुगाडी सर ।

On their Marriage

Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.

tele a woman

Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tele-a-Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

that gadha one was great one dude.........keep up the good work........

A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho ticket dena, The person at the window tells him that there is a house full, so this Bihari says koi baat nahin do house full de do.

Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto.
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.

Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.
He got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!

Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'

Sardar strikes again!!

Sardar declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life &. . .
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . . .

SARDAR talking on cell.
2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. . .

A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away
Sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.
2.Weakness:Banta' s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour

Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

Santa went to Mysore palace.
Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.

A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!

Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.

Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde, 8 khaye nahi jayenge

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for four days.
Lady calls again.
Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him.

Collection of some funny leave ( not Love) letters

... a collection of leave letters and applications written by
people
in various places of India ...

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife,
please
sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10
year
old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two
days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was
performing
his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it,
please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not
return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I
request
you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at
home I
may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."


13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and
an
Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several
years
and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the
post.


Enjoy

Sweet

Kids LETTER TO GOD

Kids LETTER TO GOD

Kid's letter to God , Contd..

Dear God ...

Please make australia lose to srilanka ...

a.t

Exactly yeaholiday....f**k australia and all those mofos in their squad.....vaas and murli will flip them so bad that they will quit playing cricket.

कृष्ण – डाक्टर साव मेरो साथी विरामी


भएको छ हेरिदिनुस् न


डाक्टर – ठिकै छ म जाँच गरौला


कृष्ण – जाँच गर्ने त कुरै नगरौ डाक्टर


साव जाँच दिँदा दिदैत फेन्ट भएको यो ।