De nouveau day at school. The lecture hall full of crème de la crème students. Mr. Berkeley on the other side of the hall was rattling off a series of examples. She was struggling really hard to catch up with him, sitting quietly at one corner of the hall, attempting the impossible that is to be invisible to the interaction maniac teacher.

They raised their hands as soon as his words hit their ear drums; she wondered how fast they could actually process the information from the auditory nerve to their brain. He just need to mention something and ninety percent of the class would give positive nod while she had no clue what they were talking about.

Of course, she was not an average student and she had pretty decent educational background. But here, she feels like an alien. Overtime, her confidence has sunk to its lowest level. It is affecting all aspects of her life. She could not recall when and what she missed, she could not identify where she did fait accompli in these last few years.

The problem is with her or with those people? Is she thrown into the wrong crowd or is it just the initial hiccup she is getting? Is she the only one who is going through this kind of phase or …??

Hey, don't feel down as this process is only natural. Was the same for me during my first semester probably because all my life I was taught by teachers who spoke with an accent (It wasn't that I went to a bad school in India or something...went to one of the finest english medium school in India). I'd attribute it as some kind of an initial culture-shock. But once I got used to the teaching style here, made new friends and started speaking americanized english night and day, the classes got really easier...Btw, it helps if you're living on campus.

Samsara,

Thank you so much for the kind words. But this is not my first year abroad, and it is not the problem with the accent( may be I have already overcome it), wandering from one place to another place has given me a kind of accent deciphering ability. Right now, I am just overwhelmed with everything that is coming/happeing to me specially in the academic front.

Just feel like I am lagging a lot lot behind my fellow mates.

I think it has got to do with progression in life. I have been going through "it" for the best part of two years now and it hasn't changed a bit. So, I have learned to accept it, accepted myself and my limitations. :)

As you progress ahead, life becomes more and more complicated. You cannot seem to concentrate in studies like you used to do in school. Black and white Memorization get overshadowed by grey logistics. There'll be myriad things that seem to be so much important than the academic front for which you want instant gratifying answers. Then you come up with ridiculous excuses for going through "it". Things become unbearable when you perceive your peers from childhood and schooldays doing so much better and happier.

I don't know the answer myself, but if you stop comparing yourself with others (easier said than done), it might alleviate the pain a little. Deriving happiness from little things is another way to go. E.g. I already feel lighter to find that I am not the only one going through "it" or did i completely miss your point ?

Is she the only one who is going through this kind of phase or …??

Probably NOT. Possibly NOT. Absolutely NOT.

come on, who ever jyotica is, just know what the instructor is teaching, prepare before class or study thereafter - google things. stay calm and composed - try to get hold of yourself. these guys here learn through 'chat & learn' principle while we learn through 'formal communication'. know what i mean? ...... we want formal stuffs inside our class - these guys have different teaching-learning environment. AND everybody (our kind) suffers - thats what cultural shock means. just put your best efforts and do not complain.
for a short-run just think that you are cool - you (among all others) are not much impressed by what they do in the class. eventually things are going to get settled.
Just don't get carried over doll - you ain't goin' to get nowhere that way.
best of luck

Is she the only one?
---No, certainly NOT!

it's not at all easy to be in a situation as yours, but trust me, i myself have gone through it, am STILL going through. i have seen others going through it. so, if i am not alone, how can you be? there are times, when, even if you work hard, the result does not show and you feel frustrated and helpless. it happens especially in the beginning - at a rudimentary phase when you are new to a place (environment), culture or a society. cultural shock, peer pressure and home-sickness apart, there is always this huge pressure to perform against all odds, that keep you in your toes. even if you have gone past the initial hiccups, i suspect you are getting into the core of your area of study, and that's again when things may look stiff, overwhelming and scary. you feel like you are alienated, you may question at times "am i good for nothing?"

1] the KEY is, don't let yourself bogged down by the situation. believe me, it will go away slowly with time, it definitely will! try to talk about it with your friends and colleagues, it helps! don't get isolated and let yourself succumbed by the pressure. don't feel low because of it. i remember, during my school days and even in some of the classes i took in my graduate school, students don't ask questions. they prefer to remain quiet when the materials being taught are hard and incospicuous, NOT because they understand everything, but they feel apprehensive by the thoughts of being ashamed, if the questions they ask turn out to be stupid ! So A will think that B understood everything and B will think the opposite. but the matter of fact is, both haven't understood anything! :P

2] use time for your maximum benefit. do some work outs in your free time to release the tension. don't keep thinking about it. you are a brave lady, i guess! at least by some of the threads that you have opened in the past, i can say that :P. you just need to wait for the right time- it will definitely change in your favor! just believe in yourself, focus on your studies and always remember, you are NOT alone. there are many who have gone through these. i have seen it myself. i was one of those. i have battled, lost, again battled and won. i am STILL battling :-). this is life, jyoti! even the great John Nash went through a rough patch during his Phd. he was being called a paranoid, he actually was! people used to call him stupid. he was a gone case. he himself admitted that he was mortified, petrified and stupefied by his fellow students. BUT HE DID NOT GIVE UP!!!!!! that's the key to success!!!!! So just hang in there, don't you ever give up!

1] don't be impulsive and give in or give up easily. gather strength and build on to it. hard times will make you stronger and a better person in life. if everything comes by easily to you, what's the point of it? you won't be able to cherish it-- you tend to take them for granted and that's when you don't feel satisfied by your achievments! if you work hard to earn it against all odds, satisfaction is guaranteed! this is how life is. :-)

All the best!

LooTe
PS I am sorry for a long post, thought it's an excellent one and may be useful to many :-)

It partly has to do with the fact that you are so used to "breezing" over classes and progressing that you fail to realize that there could be people smarter than you. There is always a limit. And you finally have to start working hard. Trust me, your IQ is probably the top 1% in the world (http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/SATIQ.aspx) so it will take you some time but you will reach there. And the ones who answer in the class aren't the smartest. It is my experience that half of the people who nod aren't even paying attention! :)

Jyotika i bet you have been working real hard not to fall behind your fellow mates and that's what it counts. All we can do is try to make best out of it. Raising the hands and answering the questions in the classroom doesn't make one smarter than the other. And reading your posts i am sure you will not be gone unnoticed among your friends in the future either.

" Of course, she was not an average student and she had pretty decent educational background. But here, she feels like an alien." This is exactly how i used to feel. But we have to hang on to what we are trying to do. there will be bumps on the road every now and then which should not deviate us from the original path. And i was not an "A" grader neither (had couple of Ds to be honest). but what i have realized now is grades are only in the transcripts. the outer world is totally different and perhaps suits better to people like myself than A graders.

There were/ are hundreds of people in your situation, in that sense you are not the only one. But you are the only one in many other aspects of life because we all are unique.

Do not let them smarties carried away you.


Just not try to compare yourself with others. You are one of a kind and so are the others. "Everybody is unique", that's what they say anyways.

I've been through that situation myself. Actually, I still am. I used to be an asskicker back home. did the same in high school here. And now, come university, my grades are at an all time low, I don't feel as confident and even with me living as a citizen here with my parents, I still don't feel the true me. My parents console me and tell me not to give up.

I've done all kinds of things, I'm involved in a lot of ctivities, etc, but I still feel out of place. Therefor this summer, I've decided to take a break. a break from life, a break from everything and just let my mind go in any direction it wants to.

I totally hear your sentiments Jyotika. I used to be one of the most cheerful and funny guys back home. But I've lost my touch. I'm not me anymore. I also miss my friends. Most of them are in the US and even they seem to have changed and now I don't get along with a lot of them. Thats why for about 5 months strating mid april to mid september, I'm going through a change and I'm gonna transform myself.

Maybe you can try that too. Let yourself free. Let go of all the worries. Work less hours if you need to work and just have fun. Do something risky, something adventerous. Break the rules.

I'll be trying that. Work something out for you. I think it helps.

:D good luck!

I thought someone in here was bipolar!. HEHEHE! It seems I was wrong.;P

Thank you all. Never thought I could get such nice and honest repsonses.

Oys_chill,
You hit the rite chord. Thank youuuuuu, Thank you so much! I wish you all the best.

Lootekukur,
A bit longer but it was another sensible response.

Timetraveller,
How come we share the same emotions? I exactly feel the same , though we are in different situation. Good luck and I hope the break will help you find yourself again. Have a nice trip!Do share your experience after coming back.

npl2us,
Your words are really encourging. It does help...Thank you!


Gundrukbhat,
Yeah, it does matter. I agree with you. But since this is my first degree it has not affected much. Thanks for stopping by.

Sambro,
I will definitely try to be more organised from now on. Thanks!

Oldmaven,
Thanks for letting me know that we are in the same boat.

And thanks to all of you again, Samsara , TM......