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Posted on 10-10-06 8:22 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Rumsfeld is reporting to the President and the Cabinet.

He says, "Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."

The President says, "Oh, my God!" and he buries his head in his hands.

The entire Cabinet is stunned. Usually Bush shows no reaction
whatsoever to these reports.


Just then, Bush looks up and says, "How many is a brazilian??
 
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Posted on 11-06-06 10:38 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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yep...he makes me cry too!!!
 
Posted on 11-06-06 11:04 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Very funny twanke...keep coming..
 
Posted on 11-06-06 1:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 11-06-06 1:57 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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here's more
"Bush fell off his bike while mountain biking on his ranch over the weekend. He hit a rough spot in the trail. There's a switch — the environment hurting Bush." —Jay Leno

"President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike." —Jay Leno

"You know what really makes this embarrassing? The other day the president said the leaders in Iraq are 'ready to take off the training wheels.' That's what he said, 'take off the training wheels.' Then he goes out and falls off his bicycle. And they wonder why the rest of the world doesn't take us seriously." —Jay Leno
 
Posted on 11-06-06 10:29 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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here is what Bush is in real. The reality:

No Time to Think

"The other thing, it turns out, in this job you've got a lot on your plate on a regular basis, you don't have much time to sit around and wander, lonely, in the Oval Office, kind of asking different portraits, how do you think my standing will be?"
—Bush pondering how history may view him. (White House "President's Press Conference", March 16, 2005)

"So for the students here, take heart in this concept. He gets a Ph.D. I get Cs. I'm the President and he's the advisor."
—While discussing Social Security on a college campus, Bush makes note of the education gap between himself and a professor/advisor to the administration. (White House, "President Discusses Strengthening Social Security in Iowa", March 30, 2005)

"I repeat, personal accounts do not permanently fix the solution."
—A glimmer of truth, however confused, from Bush on Social Security. (White House, "President's Press Conference", March 16, 2005)

Post-Election Bravado

"Because he's hiding…"
—Bush, explaining why Osama bin Laden has yet to be captured. (Washington Post interview, Jan. 16, 2005)

"It's okay to correct the president - just not in front of all the TV cameras."
—Bush, speaking at the White House Economic Conference, after being corrected by a participant, Dec. 15, 2004.

"Well, I quit drinking in '86."
—Bush, when asked whether, as he embarked on his second four-year term, he saw ghosts of past presidents. (C-SPAN interview, Jan. 30, 2005)

"With the campaign over, Americans are expecting a bipartisan effort and results. I'll reach out to everyone who shares our goals."
—In Bush's first press conference after the election on Nov. 4, 2004.

"Now that I've got the will of the people at my back, I'm going to start enforcing the one-question rule."
"Again, he violated the one-question rule right off the bat. Obviously you didn't listen to the will of the people."
—Laying down the law at the post-election press conference, Nov. 4, 2004.

"I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place for people standing outside--they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed by the atmosphere, and they say, 'Man, you're looking pretty.'"
—Explaining to reporters at the post-election press conference (Nov. 4, 2004) that people forget their political agendas when meeting him in the White House.

"I was impressed every day by how hard and how skillful our team was."
—In Bush's victory speech on Nov. 3, 2004

2004 Campaign Gems

"We will stand up for terror. We will stand up for freedom."
—Bush, speaking on the campaign trail, Oct. 18, 2004, in Marlton, N.J.

"Gosh, I just don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden. It's kind of one of those exaggerations."
—Bush, during the final presidential debate, attempting to refute Kerry’s claim that the president boasted he was not concerned about Osama bin Laden.

"So I don't know where he is. You know, I just don't spend that much time on him... We haven't heard much from him. And I wouldn't necessarily say he's at the center of any command structure. And, again, I don't know where he is. I- I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him."
—Bush, answering a question about Osama bin Laden at a March 13, 2002 news conference.

"After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week— we will have an all-volunteer army. Let me restate that."
—Bush, showing signs of confusion (yet again) at an Oct. 16, 2004, campaign stop in Daytona Beach.

"The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were president of the United States, and we’d be a lot better off."
—Bush at the second presidential debate in St. Louis, Oct. 8, 2004.

"And as a result of the United States military, Taliban no longer is in existence."
—Bush, demonstrating a weak grasp on reality at a campaign stop in Springfield, Ohio on Sept. 27, 2004.

"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat …"
—Bush, mixing metaphors at a Victory 2004 Luncheon in Washington, D.C. on Sept. 17, 2004.

"We're now saying, democracy must flourish. And as I recall from my history, it took us quite a while here in the United States, but nevertheless we are making progress."
—Bush, in a "Meet the Press" interview shown Sunday, Feb. 8, 2004, discussing Iraq's transformation to democracy

"The recession started upon my arrival. It could have been some say February, some say March, some speculate maybe earlier it started, but nevertheless it happened as we showed up here."
—Bush, in the same interview, discussing the economy

"I don't speak ill of anybody in the process here. I think if you went back and looked at my comments, you will see I don't attack."
—Bush, in the same interview. (The Washington Post reported on Feb. 20 that the Bush re-election campaign will spend "tens of millions of dollars" on a negative ad campaign focusing on the likely Democratic nominee, Sen. John Kerry.)
A President in Denial

"It reads like a mystery, a novel. It's well written."
—W., assessing the 9/11 Commission's report, to an AP reporter in Crawford, Texas, July 26, 2004.

"No one wants to be the war president. I want to be the peace president."
—Bush, talking to about 1,000 supporters at Kirkwood Community College in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, July 21, 2004.

"A new Iraq will also need a humane, well-supervised prison system."
—Bush, speaking at Carlisle, Virginia, May 24, 2004

"Iraq is free of rape rooms and torture chambers."
—Bush, remarks to 2003 Republican National Committee Presidential Gala, Oct. 8, 2003

"One thing is for certain: There won't be any more mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms."
—Bush, press availability in Monterrey, Mexico, Jan. 12, 2004

"Saddam Hussein now sits in a prison cell, and Iraqi men and women are no longer carried to torture chambers and rape rooms."
—Bush, remarks on "Winston Churchill and the War on Terror," Feb. 4, 2004

"Every woman in Iraq is better off because the rape rooms and torture chambers of Saddam Hussein are forever closed."
—Bush, remarks on "Efforts to Globally Promote Women's Human Rights," March 12, 2004

"Our military is performing brilliantly. See, the transition from torture chambers and rape rooms and mass graves and fear of authority is a tough transition. And they're doing the good work of keeping this country stabilized as a political process unfolds."
—Bush, remarks on "Tax Relief and the Economy," Iowa, April 15, 2004

"We acted, and there are no longer mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms in Iraq."
—Bush, remarks at Victory 2004 Reception, Florida, April 23, 2004

"A year ago, I did give the speech from the carrier, saying that we had achieved an important objective, that we'd accomplished a mission, which was the removal of Saddam Hussein. And as a result, there are no longer torture chambers or rape rooms or mass graves in Iraq."
—Bush, remarks in the Rose Garden, April 30, 2004

"Because we acted, torture rooms are closed, rape rooms no longer exist, mass graves are no longer a possibility in Iraq."
—Bush, remarks at "Ask President Bush" event, Michigan, May 3, 2004
Fun With Malapropisms

"Oftentimes, we live in a processed world—you know, people focus on the process and not results."
—Bush, speaking on the Middle East peace process
Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Interview With Print Journalists," June 2, 2003

"It's important for [the United Nations'] words to mean what they say, and as we head into the 21st century, Mark, when it comes to our security, we really don't need anybody's permission."
—Bush, during a press conference in 2003 (in the 21st century)
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President George Bush Discusses Iraq in National Press Conference," March 6, 2003

"Columbia carried in its payroll classroom experiments from some of our students in America."
Source: The Washington Post, "With Edwards, White House Shows First-Strike Capability," Dana Milbank, Feb. 11, 2003


"Should any Iraqi officer or soldier receive an order from Saddam Hussein ... don't follow that order. Because if you choose to do so, when Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Taking Action to Strengthen Small Business Remarks by the President on the Economy," Jan. 22, 2003


"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Signs 911 Commission Bill," Nov. 27, 2002


"Corporate malfeance [sic] has had an effect on our economy and we need to do something about it."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Rally at Oakland County Airport," Oct. 14, 2002


"Speaking about barbaric regimes, we must deal with probably one of the most—not probably—one of the most real threats we face, and that is the idea of a barbaric regime teaming up with a terrorist network and providing weapons of mass destruction to hold the United States and our allies and our friends blackmail."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Alexander for Senate Luncheon," Sept. 17, 2002
Bush's Inner Wordsmith

"This is a Shia fella."
—Bush, in a "Meet the Press" interview shown Sunday, Feb. 8, 2004, discussing Iraqi religious plurality

"A free, peaceful Zimbabwe has got the capacity to deliver a lot of goods and services which are needed on this continent in order to help aleve suffering."
—Bush, making a plug for "Aleve" pain reliever in speaking about alleviating suffering in Africa
Source: The White House, "President Bush Discusses U.S.-Africa Partnership from South Africa, Press Availability with President Bush and President Mbeki of South Africa," July 9, 2003

"I used the expression 'ride herd.' I don't know if anybody understood the meaning. It's a little informal in diplomatic terms. I said, we're going to put a guy on the ground to ride herd on the process. See them all scratching their heads."
—Bush, realizing few people understand him when he speaks
Source: New York Times, "The President's Trip, In the President's Words: 'A Mutual Desire to Work Toward the Vision," June 5, 2003

"We've had a great weekend here in the land of the enchanted."
—Bush, referring to New Mexico, "The Land of Enchantment"
Source: Federal Document Clearinghouse, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on Jobs and Growth in Albuquerque," May 12, 2003

"These people don't have tanks. They don't have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush At Welcome Rally," Nov. 1, 2002


"A lame duck session, for people who don't know what that means, it means the Senate is coming and the House is coming back between now and Christmas and they've got a few days to get some big things done."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "President Bush Holds Press Conference, Presidential Hall, Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building," Nov. 7, 2002


"We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator."
Source: The New York Times, "Reporter's Notebook; Skipping Borders, Tripping Diction," David E. Sanger, May 28, 2002
Grammar: Bush's Foe

"We're spending money on clean coal technology. Do you realize we've got 250 million years of coal?"
—Washington, D.C., June 8, 2005


"I really appreciate the hardworking staff—the docs, the nurses, the people who make this fantastic facility operate in a way that makes me pride, and in a way that will make every American proud when they learn your story. "
—Bush, speaking in Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2003

"Education belongs to everybody. High standards belongs to everybody."
Source: White House speech, Oct. 2, 2003

"The other issue regarding health care is whether or not health care is affordable and available. And one reason it's not in certain communities is because there is (sic) too many lawsuits."
Source: White House, "President Discusses Tax Relief in Minnesota: Remarks by the President on the Economy," June 19, 2003


"The proposal we've proposed will save him nearly $2,400 every year."
—Bush, in another display of the depth and breadth of his language skills
Source: Federal Document Clearinghouse, "President Bush Speaks to the Tax Relief Coalition, U.S. Chamber of Commerce," May 6, 2003

"Maybe between the time I left Camp David and here I'll learn more."
—Bush, speaking to reporters after returning from Camp David
Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Remarks on Returning From Camp David, Maryland, and an Exchange with Reporters," March 23, 2003


"What is life choices about?"
—Bush, speaking to student athletes
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Welcomes NCAA Champs," Feb. 24, 2003


"The more money they have in their more pockets — in their pockets, the more likely it is that somebody will find work."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks to the GOP Resort from the Greenbriar Resort," Feb. 9, 2003


"One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush on Anniversary of No Child Left Behind Act," Jan. 8, 2003


"And out of the evil done to America is going to come a more peaceful world, and a more better America..."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Welcome Ceremony," Oct. 22, 2002


"Some communities, you say, "Hey, American dream," and they go, "What does that mean?"
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Manchester, New Hampshire Welcome," Oct. 5, 2002


"There is no second-rate children in Arizona. There's no second-rate children in America."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks at Salmon for Governor and Renzi for Congress Fund-raiser," Sept. 27, 2002


"What is your ambitions?"
—Bush, speaking at the Parkview Arts and Science Magnet School
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at a Back-to-School Event," Aug. 29, 2002


"We will be steadfast and strong in our desire to make the world more free."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at 'Simon for Governor' Luncheon," Aug. 23, 2002


"When one of us suffer, all of us suffers."
—Bush, addressing the Pennsylvania coal miners
Source: The Nation, "W. and the Coal Miners: Photo-op Cover for Anti-worker Policies," David Corn, Aug. 6, 2002


"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
Source: United Press International, "Bush Proposes Increase in Education Funds," Mark Kukis, Feb. 21, 2001
Foot-in-Mouth Disease Strikes Again

"The President needs a lot of advice."
—Bush, giving a speech on Social Security in Omaha, Neb., Feb. 4.
Source: White House web site, Feb. 4, 2005

"We've got to get us an energy plan."
—Bush, during the same speech, Feb. 4, 2005.
Source: White House web site, Feb. 4, 2005

"I'm looking for a good cowboy."
—Bush, in Brussels, Belgium on Feb. 21, when a French reporter asked him if French President Jacques Chirac would be invited to his ranch in Texas.
Source: White House web site, Feb. 21, 2005

"I'm perfectly comfortable in telling you, our country is one that safeguards human rights and human dignity, and we resolve our disputes in a peaceful way."
—Bush, answering a Russian reporter's question at a Feb. 24 appearance in Bratislava, Slovakia, with Russian President Vladimir Putin
Source: White House web site, Feb. 24, 2005

"For all you C students out there, it's amazing what can happen to you if you keep working hard."
—Bush, preparing to speak about Social Security at the University of Notre Dame, Indiana, March 4, 2005.

"There's a trade deficit. That's easy to resolve: People can buy more United States products if they're worried about the trade deficit."
—George W. Bush, international economist, meeting with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in the Oval Office on Dec. 15, 2004.

"Justice ought to be fair."
—Bush, speaking at the White House Economic Conference, Dec. 15, 2004.

"I realize, and many Americans realize, that it's not always easy to sleep next to the elephant."
—Bush, in Canada on Dec. 1, 2004, acknowledging it's sometimes difficult to be next-door neighbors with the United States.

"I'm trying to put a leash on 'em."
—Bush, explaining his parenting methods of daughters Jenna and Barbara, during the first televised debate with presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry, Sept. 30, 2004.

"The CIA laid out several scenarios. It said that life could be lousy, life could be okay, life could be better. And they were just guessing as to what the conditions might be like."
—Bush, dismissing a leaked CIA report at a Sept. 21, 2004, meeting with Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
—Bush addressing a group of witnesses at the signing of the Defense Appropriations Act for Fiscal Year 2005 in Washington, DC on Aug. 4.

"We've got an issue in America ... too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
—Bush, telling a crowd assembled in Poplar Bluff, Mo., about a previously underappreciated domestic problem, Sept. 6.
Source: The Washington Post, "A New Problem, or the Wrong Word?" Dana Milbank, Sept. 7, 2004

"I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental—supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel."
—Bush, announcing an unintended policy position, at a Sept. 4 appearance in Erie, Pa.
Source: The Washington Post, "A New Problem, or the Wrong Word?" Dana Milbank, Sept. 7, 2004

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
—Bush, meeting with Iraqi citizens who received medical care in the U.S., May 25, 2004

"I had the honor of calling Dale Earnhardt, Jr., after the race, to congratulate him. I said, there's nothing wrong with a fellow following in his father's footsteps."
—Bush, on Feb. 16, the day after watching racecar driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. win the Daytona 500. (Dale Earnhardt, Sr. died in a crash on the last lap of the Daytona 500 in 2001.)

"It's going to be very important for the Iraqi authorities to reach out to those people and talk about a system that guarantees minority rights, and a system which says that for some the future is bright."
—Bush, speaking in Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003

"The second pillar of peace and security in our world is the willingness of free nations, when the last resort arrives, to retain aggression and evil by force."
—Bush, speaking in London, England, Nov. 19, 2003

"We want results in every single classroom so that one single child is left behind."
—Bush, speaking in Little Rock, Ark., Nov. 10, 2003

"And then we marched to war, war in Afghanistan and Iraq, all of which affected the people's confidence. That's a tough — tough hurdles to cross, when it came to our economy."
—Bush, speaking in Winston-Salem, N.C., Nov. 7, 2003

"See, we want everybody in this country, every person — we want the addict, we want the single lonely mom, we want the child, the dyslexic child — all to feel a part of the future of this country."
—Bush, speaking in Dallas, Texas, on Oct. 29, 2003

"I'm sure there's a lot of people frightened — biotechnology is a long word and it sounds — they may say, well, I don't know if I'm smart enough to be in biotechnology, or it sounds too sophisticated to be in biotechnology."
—Bush, speaking in Winston-Salem, N.C., on Nov. 7, 2003

"The world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership."
Source: The Boston Globe, Oct. 29, 2003

"See, free nations do not develop weapons of mass destruction."
—So W., does this mean the U.S. is not a free nation?...
Source: The Chicago Sun-Times, Oct. 13, 2003

"I appreciate people's opinions, but I'm more interested in news. And the best way to get the news is from objective sources, and the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what's happening in the world."
—Bush, redefining "objectivity."
Source: CNN, "Bush 'Not Paying Attention' to Democratic Race: President Getting His News From Aides," Sept. 23, 2003

"There's too much leaking in Washington. That's just the way it is. And we've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch."
—Bush, adding a fourth branch of government while leaving out the third.
Source: White House Office of the Press Secretary, "News Release: President Discusses Job Creation With Business Leaders," Sept. 30, 2003

REPORTER: "[The California recall is] the biggest political story in the country. Is it hard to go in there and say nothing about it?"
GEORGE W. BUSH: "It is the biggest political story in the country? That's interesting. That says a lot. That speaks volumes."
REPORTER: "You don't agree?"
GEORGE W. BUSH: "It's up to—I don't get to decide the biggest political story. You decide the biggest political story. But I find it interesting that that is the biggest political story in the country, as you just said."
REPORTER: "You don't think it should be?"
GEORGE W. BUSH: "Oh, I think there's maybe other political stories. Isn't there, like, a presidential race coming up? Maybe that says something. It speaks volumes, if you know what I mean."
—Bush, sharing his insights on the 2004 election, Aug. 13, 2003.
Source: Source: PBS Online News Hour, "California Certifies 135 Candidates in Recall Election," Aug. 14, 2003.

"We need to thin our forests in America."
—Bush, on the evil of forests, Aug. 11, 2003
Source: The Arizona Republic, "In Arizona, Bush Touts His Idea to Thin Forests," Aug. 12, 2003.

"We're expediting the administrative appeals process, so that disputes over projects are resolved quickly. In other words, not everybody agrees with thinning, there will objections. But we want those objections to be heard, of course—every citizen needs to hear a voice."
—Bush, hearing voices in Summerhaven, Ariz.
Source: The White House, "President Bush Promotes Healthy Forests in Arizona," Aug. 11, 2003

"I said you were a man of peace. I want you to know I took immense crap for that."
—Bush, speaking to Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon
Source: Washington Post, "Bush Sticks to the Broad Strokes," Glenn Kessler, June 3, 2003

"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."
—Bush, reassuring us that the wartime president of the most powerful nation on earth does not think too much
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Roundtable Interview of the President by White House Press Pool," June 4, 2003

"I've got very good relations with President Mubarak and Crown Prince Abdullah and the King of Jordan, Gulf Coast countries."
—Bush, confusing the Gulf Coast with the Persian Gulf
Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Interview With Print Journalists," June 2, 2003

"I am the master of low expectations."
Source: Agence France Presse, "Bush Says Middle East Summit 'Met Expectations'," June 4, 2003

"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in doing so we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure."
—Bush, on regime change in the United States
Source: Federal Document Clearinghouse, "President George W. Bush and Australian Prime Minister John Howard Hold Joint Media Availability," May 3, 2003

"It will take time to restore chaos and order—but we—order out of chaos."
—Bush, speaking to reporters about the situation in Iraq
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President George W. Bush Delivers Remarks Regarding POWS," April 13, 2003

"And, most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us."
—Bush, introducing Alma Powell, wife of Secretary of State Colin Powell
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush on First Anniversary of the USA Freedom Corps," Jan. 30, 2003


"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein and his willingness to terrorize himself."
Source: The Washington Post, "With Edwards, White House Shows First-Strike Capability," Dana Milbank, Feb. 11, 2003


"The Iraqi regime is a threat to any American and to threats who are friends of America."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Rallies Troops at Fort Hood," Jan. 3, 2003


"They see the risks are high, the risk of being able to find a job or the risk of keeping the homeland secure."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "President Bush Holds Press Conference, Presidential Hall, Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building," Nov. 7, 2002


"And I know something about being a government. And you've got a good one."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "Remarks by the President at Arkansas Welcome, Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport," Nov. 4, 2002


"If you want to build a big project and you can't get insurance because of what the terrorists have done for America, you can put the project aside."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Rally at Oakland County Airport," Oct. 14, 2002


"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose, "You disarm, or we will.'"
—Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks at a Sununu for Senate Fundraiser," Oct. 5, 2002


"If you find a neighbor in need, you're responsible for serving that neighbor in need, you're responsible for loving a neighbor just like you'd like to love yourself."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on the Economy," Sept. 16, 2002


"There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Remarks by the President at Chris Chocola for Congress, and Indiana Victory 2002 Finance Dinner," Sept. 5, 2002


"And when we find children trapped in schools which will not teach and will not change, as a society we must demand something better, because there is no second-rate children in America."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Remarks by the President at Chris Chocola for Congress, and Indiana Victory 2002 Finance Dinner," Sept. 5, 2002


"There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at 'Simon for Governor' Luncheon," Aug. 23, 2002


"But here in Texas we took [trial lawyers] on and got some good medical—medical malpractice, which evidently had a few loopholes in it."
Source: PR Newswire, "Remarks by the President at the Economic Forum Health Care Security Session," Aug. 13, 2002


"Tommy is a good listener, and he's a pretty good actor, too. He can get things done. Action man, we call him."
—Bush, referring to Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson Source: PR Newswire, "Remarks by the President at the Economic Forum Health Care Security Session," Aug. 13, 2002


"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here."
Source: PR Newswire, "Remarks by the President at the Economic Forum Health Care Security Session," Aug. 13, 2002


"The consultation process is a positive part of really allowing people to fully understand our deep concerns about this man, his regime and his desires to have weapons of mass destruction. Last question—and then I've got to go chip and putt for a birdie. [Laughter.] It was a good drive."
—Bush, interrupting an Aug. 10 golf game in Waco, Texas, for a Q & A discussing possible U.S. military action against Iraq.
Source: The Washington Post, "White House Veteran to New Guy: Oh, Beha-aaa-ave!," Lloyd Grove, Aug. 13, 2002


"Do you have blacks, too?"
—Bush, speaking to Brazilian President Fernando Henrique Cardoso.
Source: Salon.com, "Bushed," Jake Tapper, June 20, 2002


"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."
Source: Business Week Online, "A Gentleman's "C" for W," Richard S. Dunham, July 30, 2001
Barely Comprehensible and Funny

“Tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. You're a -- you're a -- you have been given sovereignty and you're viewed as a sovereign entity.”
—Bush explaining what tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century to a gathering of minority journalists on Aug. 6.

"This is a special day for me. One of our daughters, a new graduate of the University of Texas, is traveling with me. Jenna, thanks for coming. She's already given me good advice. She said, "Dad, change your shirt."
—Bush, speaking in Kutztown, Pa., July 9, 2004

"In the last 32 months, history has placed great demands on our country, and events have come quickly."
—Bush, speaking from Carlisle, Virginia, May 24, 2004

"Well, I think we need to work with governments and institutions and NGOs to encourage the institutions of a free society," Bush said. "See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office—I love to bring people into the Oval Office—right around the corner from here, and say, this is where I [have an] office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person."
—Bush, responding to a reporter's question about how he plans to accomplish U.S. goals in the Middle East
Source: Al Kamen, The Washington Post, "Rocking the Vote in the Middle East," Feb. 20, 2004

"Jessica Simpson is here with us, which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater."
—Bush, introducing the pop singer and reality TV star on March 14 at Ford's Theater in Washington (where Lincoln was shot).
Source: Richard Leiby, The Washington Post, "Reliable Source," March 16, 2004

"You know, let me talk about Al Qaida just for a second. I made the statement that we're dismantling senior management, and we are. Our people have done a really good job of hauling in a lot of the key operators. Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. Abu Zubaida. Ramzi--Ramzi alshibh or whatever that guy's name was."
—Bush, at a July 30 press conference
Source: Washington Post, July 30, 2003

"By making the right choices, we can make the right choice for our future."
—Bush, sharing insights into improving Americans' health and fitness
Source: The White House, "President Bush Highlights Health and Fitness Initiative: Remarks by the President on Fitness," July 18, 2003

"In 2000, alone, obesity costs totaled the country an estimated cost of $117 billion."
—Bush, promoting his Health and Fitness Initiative
Source: The White House, "President Bush Highlights Health and Fitness Initiative: Remarks by the President on Fitness," July 18, 2003

"But we will bring the weapons and, of course—we will bring the information forward on the weapons when they find them. And that will end up—end all this speculation. I understand there has been a lot of speculation over in Great Britain, we've got a little bit of it here, about whether or not the—whether or not the actions were based upon valid information. We can debate that all day long, until the truth shows up."
—Bush, unwavering in his certainty that one way or another WMDs will appear in Iraq
Source: The White House, "President Bush, Prime Minister Blair Discuss War on Terrorism," July 17, 2003

"I had the opportunity to go out to Goree Island and talk about what slavery meant to America. It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America. America is what it is today because of what went on in the past."
—Bush, commenting on the significance of slavery in America's past
Source: White House, "Remarks by the President to Embassy Personnel, Leopold Sedar Senghor International Airport, Dakar, Senegal," July 8, 2003

"And then we'll be going to Goree Island, where I'll be giving a speech about race, race in the world, race as it relates to Africa and America. And we're in the process of writing it. I can't give you any highlights of the speech yet because I, frankly, haven't seen it."
—Bush, discussing preparations for his trip to Africa
Source: White House, "President Bush Discusses Upcoming Africa Trip with Reporters Remarks by the President in Roundtable Interview with African Print Journalists," July 3, 2003

"We are in the process of helping them implement a strategy which is was described to us in Aqaba as to how the Palestinian Authority want to reconstitute a security force in order to make sure the terrorists, the haters of peace, those who can't stand freedom do not have their way in the Middle East."
—Bush, on smoothing some of the bumps in the road to peace in the Middle East
Source: The White House, "President Believes Peace in Middle East is Achievable: Remarks by the President to the Travel Pool," June 15, 2003

"I think that freedom is a powerful incentive. And I am—I believe that someday freedom will prevail everywhere, because freedom is a powerful drive for people to—and it's the beginnings of people expressing themselves toward a free Iran, which I think is positive."
—Bush, on recent protests in Iran
Source: The White House, "President Believes Peace in Middle East is Achievable: Remarks by the President to the Travel Pool," June 15, 2003

"Wait for us to succeed peace. Wait for us to have two states, side by side—is for everybody coming together to deny the killers the opportunity to destroy."
—Bush, speaking to reporters
Source: The White House, "President Believes Peace in Middle East is Achievable: Remarks by the President to the Travel Pool," June 15, 2003

"And if one of those jobs are created, we must have a system which trains people for the jobs which actually exist."
—Bush, discussing employment training
Source: U.S. Newswire, "Remarks by the President on Employment Training," June 17, 2003

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
—Bush, speaking about terrorism and poverty
Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "The President's News Conference With President Macapagal-Arroyo of the Philippines," May 26, 2003

"Some one of my visits—one of the reasons I'm visiting here is to ask the question, you know, to people, because if there's moving too slow or people are saying one thing and the other thing is not happening, now's the time to find out."
—Bush, talking about hurricane relief
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on Tornado Damage," May 13, 2003

"We can help somebody who hurts by hugging a neighbor in need."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush To Marine Personnel and Their Families," April 3, 2003

"And as I said in my State of the Union, the idea is to see that a car born today—I mean, a child born today will be driving a car, as his or her first car, which will be powered by hydrogen and pollution-free."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush Re: Energy Independence," Feb. 6, 2003


"There was a good news story in Mississippi. I went down there and—it wasn't because of me, it was because the doctors and the citizens understand the cost of a trial system gone array and they got themselves a law."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Calls for Medical Liability Reform," Jan. 16, 2003


"I mentioned early on that I recognize there are hurdles, and we're going to achieve those hurdles."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush," Jan. 22, 2003


"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."
Source: ABC News Transcripts, "President Bush and First Lady Bush '20/20' Year-End Interview," Dec. 13, 2002


"The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen. That compassion is found in the hearts and souls of the American citizens."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Visits D.C. Food Bank," Dec. 19, 2002


"Sometimes Washington is one of these towns where the people who think they've got the sharp elbows are the most effective person."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Participates in a Terrell-for-Senate Luncheon," Dec. 3, 2002


"The solid truth of the matter is, when you find—if you want to help heal the hurt, if you want to you hurt people—help people in pain, the best way to do so is to call upon the great strength of the country, which is the compassion of our fellow Americans."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks," Nov. 4, 2002


"I want the youngsters here to remember the story of Flight 93, one of most profound parts of this entire history of the recent history we've been through."
Source: Federal News Service, "President Bush Remarks at Missouri Welcome," Nov. 4, 2002


"This is a—this is a—any strike's a tough—tough situation, but this one happens to come at a—or a lockout is a tough situation, or no work is a tough situation—is to come at bad time."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President Bush Following Meeting with Congressional Leaders to Discuss Terrorism Insurance," Oct. 1, 2002


"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says: Fool me once, shame on [pause] shame on you. [Pause] Fool me [long, uncomfortable, agonizing pause] you can't get fooled again."
Source: The Washington Post, "The Reliable Source," Lloyd Grove, Sept. 18, 2002


"We're going to have a White House forum there in Washington, D.C., obviously—that's where the White House is ..."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Pledge Across America," Sept. 17, 2002


"I should have clarified it by my statement. I just clarified it by my—not should have—I just."
—Bush, trying to clarify a statement
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Holds Media Availability with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi," Sept. 14, 2002


"We've got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat—I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we're trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush Re: Small Businesses Location," March 18, 2002
 
Posted on 11-07-06 9:10 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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the real reason

 
Posted on 11-07-06 9:11 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 11-07-06 9:11 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 11-07-06 9:12 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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helping during Katrina

 
Posted on 11-07-06 9:14 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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dumber than the dumbest

 
Posted on 11-07-06 1:47 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hashahahaha.....
 
Posted on 11-07-06 7:22 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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those shits r really funny
 
Posted on 11-07-06 11:26 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I didn't read the longest jokes but the pictures were funny..Haha
 
Posted on 11-08-06 1:19 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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the real bush:

 
Posted on 11-08-06 1:21 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 11-08-06 1:22 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 11-08-06 1:26 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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from my fav JON STEWART:


and one more:

 
Posted on 11-08-06 7:55 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Bush is a fool


 
Posted on 11-08-06 7:56 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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bush!
what are you man??? shame shame ... so embrassing..


 
Posted on 11-08-06 7:58 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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President Bush being dumb


 



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