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 Yatri
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Posted on 03-25-05 9:36 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hello All
I am trying to translate yatri by mahakabi laxmi prashad devkota to english. Please help by reviewing the translation :0)

Which temple will you go oh traveler which temple should you go?
With what would you worship him and what would you offer to your lord?
Riding on people's back which heaven would you go?
With columns made out of your bones, and your skin its walls
With brain as its ceiling, senses its doors
Blood in your veins mystic river, temple is whole in itself.
Which temple will you go oh traveler, which temple's door?
Ruling from your soul is lords beautiful throne,
Feeling the aura, your head the crown,
Beautiful is this body temple in the middle of the world.

Which holy land are you searching with your eyes when inside you is god?
How far will you flow on surface, when lord lives in the depth?
If you want to find him then just open lights of your heart,
Lord is with you my traveler in the middle of road,
He will kiss hands that work selflessly, will touch foreheads with his divine hands.
Lord sings on the songs of the birds by the side of the road,
Lord sings on the pain and suffering of the people,
Yet he does not come before your physical eyes.

Which temple will you go to oh traveler which new country will you go?
Return my traveler and hold peoples feet, help them to heal up their wounds with ointments,
Please your lord oh traveler just by being human.

 
Posted on 03-25-05 10:58 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Oh wow, wonderful job.
I love this poem, it was one among the many poems we used to sing during our morning assembly in MIS. I think it was the only Nepali one though.
 
Posted on 03-25-05 11:20 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hey myohmyoh, we were talking about devkota in another thread the other day. do you know if there is a book of collected translated devkota poems (that would be translated from the original to nepali)? if so, please let us know, hai?! la....thanks!
 
Posted on 03-25-05 1:31 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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myohmyoh,
this is an very good job you have embarked upon. However I when I read this poem I feel that the translation does not translate the essence and depth of the original version. I know it is difficult to translate the essense when you translate it word by word and it might seem that you are translating your own understanding of the poem. However, when I read the english translation of greek works, the translations does not go word by word. They translate sentences rather and people usually get into debate what the sentence is trying to say. Since the thing you are translating is a poem, it gives you more freedom on choice of words and rhymes. I can read your translation perfectly because as I read it I translate it back to Nepali and even remember the exact lines from the original poem and it is beautiful, nevertheless it can be made to sound much beautiful in literal english as well.


 
Posted on 03-25-05 2:51 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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It is indeed very nice, but like the yatree says above, you don't feel the same depth and the essence of the poem when translated....

for instance that last line was so powerful:
Return my traveler and hold peoples feet, help them to heal up their wounds with ointments, Please your lord oh traveler just by being human.

farka farka hey yatri samau manis haroo ko pau
malam lagau tini haroo ko charai raheko ghau
manis bhai iswor ko tyo dibya muhar hasau (sth like that)

you know what i mean rite :) nevertheless its good to read in english though
 
Posted on 03-26-05 11:24 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thank you all for looking at the poem and providing me with the feed back.I completely agree with your opinion(s). You lose all the depth or essence when you translate a work word for word.
I was trying to find if someone had some translation over on the net and non exists.
Any help from you on updating the lines and to be near the mahakabi's thoughts will be great help.
 
Posted on 03-26-05 2:44 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I think you can translate it best if you wrote what you understood of the poem. Many ppl might disagree but that will give rise to many translations of the poem.
 


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