Love is a word that spills easily from the lips of teenagers eager to explore their romantic possibilities. Why does it seem to disappear from the vocabulary of adult singles diligently dodging commitment?
Love and marriage, lovesick, love affair... love can have many different meanings and carry bags full of diverse associations. Some can buoy you up like a balloon into the light. Some can bury you in a frightening dark place. Here are five reasons love stinks, and five reasons it's worth the effort.
Top five reasons people are afraid of love:
5. Love is a delusion
It's all in the mind... fantasies constructed on a casual glance, a meaningless pleasantry, a polite invitation. Even a sacred promise to love, honour and obey may dissipate in less than 48 hours. Just ask Britney Spears and Jason Allen Alexander.
4. Love is embarrassing
Think of all the stupid things people do for love, from lugging the barmy stuffed bear he won at the carnival as a token of his affection, to wearing a penguin suit to a wedding. If the object of your affection has a few too many tipples and starts rowing with your boss, what does that say about you and your judgement?
3. Love is demanding
There are flowers to be sent, sonnets to be composed, egos to be stroked. Who has the time and energy?
2. Love is blind
Love sees faults as foibles. Differences are delicious, not damaging. When opposites attract, they think they're two pieces that combine to finish the puzzle. But, as time goes by, complementary temperaments can clash. What were once delightful eccentricities become noxious habits.
1. Love hurts
It burns hot and cold. Either way, it's a pain.
Top five good reasons to take a chance on love:
5. Love is liberating
You never have to put on a false front for your partner. True love accepts you for what you are, bad barnets and all. Your faults don't disappear in a lover's eyes; they just don't carry as much weight as your merits.
4. Love is energising
Love sparks activity like the ignition awakens a sleeping motor. Lovers go for long walks, stay up late and get up early, anything to be with each other. With the strength of love, all things appear possible and you feel confident enough to tackle any project.
3. Love is healing
Whatever is wrong in your life, love can help you sort it out. Love lightens all burdens. No matter what kind of trial you are going through, having someone you love with you eases the pain.
2. Love is elevating
As Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) said to Carol Connelly (Helen Hunt) in As Good as it Gets, "You make me want to be a better man." Love does that to people. It brings out the best in us.
1. Love is enriching
The more you give, the more you get.
